Forefront
by deceptive-serenade
Summary: Kayla Longbottom loves her life – honestly, she does. She has a great flat in Diagon Alley where she lives with her best friend. She works a job, and it could be satisfying... sometimes. She liked being single, and sure, Albus Potter made her heart pound, but that was all it was. All of it was fine, until one day it wasn't. A story about anxiety and regrets. Albus/OC
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

"Kayla Longbottom, I am about to change your life."

Hugo Weasley had burst into Slug & Jiggers Apothecary a few moments earlier, making Kayla drop her beaker and blink behind her goggles.

"What's this, now?" She squeaked.

Hugo was drenched from the pouring rain and proceeded to splatter water all over Kayla as he stepped forward. "I am about to shift the stars in the universe in your normally-unlucky favour."

"What's this, now?" The commotion had attracted the attention of Kevin MacMillan, Kayla's co-worker, who had come out of the back room. He saw Hugo and gave him a smile and nod. "Hugo."

Hugo only glared at Kevin angrily, which confused Kayla. Kevin was her best friend's (and Hugo's cousin's) Lily Potter's boyfriend, and tended to get along with Hugo quite well. Instead, Hugo ignored him and turned back to Kayla.

"I found something that you need to see," he said urgently, coming forwards and grabbing onto Kayla's wrist. He dragged her out from behind the counter and ripped off the goggles, making her squeak again. "You need to come with me. Right now!"

"I'm working," Kayla told him, smoothing out her hair and setting the goggles aside. "Can't it wait until lunch in forty-five minutes –"

"Absolutely not!" Hugo cried out, looking affronted. He grabbed her by the shoulders and leaned down to stare straight into Kayla's eyes. She wondered if his back hurt doing this, he was so tall. "Do you remember last week, when we were talking?"

"We talk every day," she said wearily, staring a raindrop that was sliding down Hugo's nose.

"No, I mean that time at the Leaky Pub –"

"Again, every day." His nose had rather a lot of freckles. Had he always had those?

Hugo put his hand over her mouth. "Remember when you were telling me about your writing?" She nodded. "I found this thing you have to do."

Kayla pushed his hand away and peered at him. "Like a job?"

"Way better."

* * *

"You made me go to lunch early for _this_?"

Kayla and Hugo were standing in front to Rosa Lee's Teabag – Kayla's favourite café in Diagon Alley. The rain was still falling heavily around them, but at least Kayla had an umbrella. Hugo had dragged her to see a large white sign that had been posted in the window. In large gold letters, it stated:

SPRING POETRY SLAM OPEN MIC

Nationally Acclaimed Guest Poets Every Week

EVERY FRIDAY 6 P.M. SIGNUP

"Yes, this!" Hugo was looking at her strangely. "Weren't you saying how you were worried your writing would never be appreciated?"

"Yes, because I've never shown it to anyone. And," Kayla said, blushing but still glaring at her tall friend, "I never want to. I was just being dumb."

"Oh, that's just silly," Hugo told her, waving a hand at her. "This is going to change _everything,_ Kayla. I can feel it."

She sighed. Hugo had it in his mind that she was somehow unhappy, but she really wasn't. She _liked_ her job as a Magical Herbs Specialist at the Apothecary. The writing was just something she liked to do in the mornings before work, when the London rain was endlessly falling and she was enjoying her coffee. Her life was simple, and she liked it that way.

Hugo thought it was just a travesty, of course.

Kayla had dreams that slowly morphed into ambitions. She thought about the other plans she'd always been thinking about – growing new plants with different magical properties, publishing a book, maybe travelling to a few places outside of the country for the first time.

And to her credit, she had started growing a couple of tiny magical plants on her windowsill. She had a little savings building up in the jar on her bedside table. Things were fine, even if her dreams would take a while to get to.

It didn't mean her life needed change.

Kayla snatched her umbrella from him and started down the path, leaving him in the rain. "I'm going to grab lunch."

"Kayla!" Hugo caught up with her and grabbed the umbrella back. "Just think about it. I know you hate public speaking, but –"

"Drop it."

" _Think_ about it."

"Fine," she grumbled. She snuck a glance at him, hating how he sounded so disappointed. If there was one thing she couldn't stand, it was letting down a friend. Even if they were being ridiculous. "If you buy me lunch."

"I'm supposed to meet Al for lunch."

"I'm joining."

" _Fine_ ," he said, mockingly imitating her. "But don't mention last weekend's Quidditch match, okay? He's still bummed out."

Kayla rolled her eyes but proceeded to follow Hugo to The Black Rose, a pub on the other side of Diagon Alley. It was a homey sort of pub, wooden furnishings and brightly lit candles floating everywhere. It was tiny and a cozy, and Hugo and Kayla had to squeeze their way through throngs of wizards at the bar to get to the back tables, where Albus Potter, Hugo's older cousin, was sitting.

Al didn't look dishevelled from the rain at all; his hair was dry, though pointing in all directions as usual. He was reading _The Daily Prophet_ and didn't look up when Hugo and Kayla sat down at the opposite side of the table. "Took you long enough."

"It was raining."

"Did it prevent you from walking the five steps over here?"

"I was busy changing Kayla's _life_ , for Merlin's sake," Hugo replied to his cousin, and Kayla glared at him. Al looked up at this, noticing her there for the first time. "And then I owed her lunch."

"Sounds about right," Al said gloomily. "The Tutshell Tornados lost this weekend."

"You are the only one of us who still supports them."

"Scorpius does, too," Kayla supplied, glad they weren't going to talk about Hugo attempting to change her life. She'd only told Hugo about her writing because he was her best friend. And maybe she'd been a bit tipsy.

"Lancanshire won against the Windborne Wasps, so that's an easy win for the Tornados. But," Hugo said, suddenly sounding quite proud, "They'll have to defeat the Chudley Cannons, first."

"The Cannons already lost against the Holyhead Harpies," Al argued.

"Yes," Kayla piped up, interest picking up at her favourite team, "But the Cannons scored 250 points, so…"

"Did you hear?" Al interjected, looking at her. "The Harpies just beat Puddlemere United about thirty minutes ago."

"I'm not surprised," she said, though a smile was growing on her face. She turned to Hugo and stuck her tongue out at him. He immediately made a face; the Cannons hadn't gotten very far since he was eleven years old.

"Let's change the subject," Hugo said, and it was evident that he was the one not up for Quidditch talk. "Food?

Their orders came, but Kayla picked at her roast chicken, not feeling quite hungry yet as Hugo and Al prattled on about something that happened in the news. Kayla couldn't help thinking about the poetry slam. It couldn't hurt to attend, listen to other poets, could it? Wizarding poetry tended to be about the war, and Kayla could do with some fresh voices.

But she could never _perform._ Not a chance.

Suddenly, a tiny light brown scops owl swooped in dropped a folded piece of parchment into Kayla's plate. She recognized it immediately as Lily's owl; they regularly sent messages at lunch, nothing usually important. Lily worked at the Ministry of Magic in the Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures.

"Is that Lily?" Al asked, noticing the note. "Tell her that our Mum and Dad have invited us for dinner on Saturday night."

Hugo groaned immediately and ran his hand through his bright red hair. "We were supposed to see that show, remember? Ask to reschedule, Kayla."

Kayla ignored both of them and opened the note from Lily, which read:

 _'I'll be home late tonight. Kevin is taking me out to dinner! – Lily x'_

"She's going out with Kevin tonight?" Hugo asked, peering over Kayla's shoulder. "Why?"

She looked at him curiously. "They've only been going out for six months. What did you think they would do?"

"But I saw…" Hugo glanced at Al. "You may want to close your ears for this, mate."

"What?" he said, startled. "No way. Spit it out."

Kayla was surprised, too. She, Hugo, Lily and Al regularly spent time together since they all worked in Diagon Alley. Rose and Scorpius would join as well when they could get away from St. Mungo's, since they were close to Al from school. Kayla had been a friend of the family since childhood, but the six of them had become rather inseparable in the past few years.

But Al and Lily were siblings, and Kayla soon realized that had something to do with it.

"Well…" Hugo began to whisper, leaning into the centre of the table. Kayla and Al followed suit. "I saw Kevin at the Leaky Cauldron the other day, after you lot left. A little sloshed. He came up to my table and started spouting nonsense about how he's too young to get married."

Al looked at him strangely. "Rose and Scorpius are engaged, and they're twenty-five…"

"Yeah, and he's twenty-six," Hugo added in, "and Lily's twenty-four. But they've only been dating six months, so I didn't have any idea what he was going on about. It's not as though Lily has mentioned marriage at all."

Lily hadn't mentioned it to the boys, but she'd sort of mentioned it to Kayla. Only just last week, Lily and Kayla were watching muggle telly (a guilty pleasure) in their flat when Lily started talking about how the characters shouldn't be married in a barn. She then proceeded to talk about her ideal destination wedding on a beach.

That didn't count, did it?

"So after Kevin's done droning on about that," Hugo said, "He spots this equally sloshed witch over by the bar. And I swear he nearly went for it, though I dragged him out and threatened to hex him until he would need new nostrils."

"Which hex were you going to use, exactly?" Kayla asked.

"That son of a bitch…" Al began to mumble curse words under his breath.

"It's fine," Hugo reassured him. "I told him he had to break up with Lily unless he wanted me to tell her the little tale. He looked really guilty and agreed. I think sober Kevin didn't actually want to cheat."

"So Kevin's breaking up with Lily tonight?" Kayla repeated, looking down at the note in her hand. Lily seemed pretty excited for this date – she was going to be in for a shock. "Maybe we should warn her or something… she really likes Kevin."

"Are you kidding?" Al sputtered. "Remember the last time I meddled in her love life? She did that bloody Bat Bogey hex and I had to go to St. Mungo's!"

"Yeah, I wouldn't do anything," Hugo told Kayla. "She'll just find out that we had something to do with it and direct her anger at us. Let her be angry at the bloke."

"But…" Kayla trailed off, as Hugo and Al had moved onto talking about the show they were supposed to see on that weekend. Kayla felt like she had to do _something._ She decided to scribble on the back of Lily's note to send back:

 _'See you later tonight – I'm baking cookies. – Kayla'_

And boy, Lily would need them tonight.

* * *

Back at the shop, Kayla was trying very hard to focus on her work. She loved Herbology since her father introduced her to his various magical plants as a kid. When she graduated, she wasn't sure what she wanted to do with her skills, so her father referred her to the Slug and Jiggers Apothecary. She was a decent Potions student, so she became in charge of extracting ingredients from plants and sending it to the North Side Apothecary across Diagon Alley.

The North Side Apothecary and came into collect ingredients every week, and in turn, traded a few common potions and ingredients for the students. Slug and Jiggers encountered most of the student population and the North Side Apothecary dealt with the more serious potion makers.

Kayla normally was very content to complete her work for the day, but her stomach was tied in knots thinking about Lily. They'd been friends since childhood, and when they went to Hogwarts, they'd been separated: Lily in Gryffindor, Kayla in Hufflepuff. Luckily, Hugo had been sorted into Hufflepuff and kept a close tie between the both of them.

Lily and Kayla lived together now, in Kayla's parents' old flat above the Leaky Cauldron. Her father, a Herbology professor at Hogwarts, was barely home except for summer. Her mother decided to buy a flat closer to St. Mungo's when she became a healer ten years before. Kayla loved living with her best friend, and she felt almost like a sister to her.

And even though Kayla and Kevin were working in separate rooms that day, she couldn't help glaring at his back whenever he walked out into the shop from the back room. He hadn't noticed her glaring daggers… perhaps since she stopped as soon as he looked at her.

She was a bit of a wimp that way.

Still, Kayla would later blame the growing tangled knot in her stomach for doing what she'd said next. She was counting fire seeds when Kevin came up beside her to use the cutting board. When she finished counting, she turned to him and said it.

"You're going to break up with Lily?"

Kevin nearly cut his finger and dropped the knife. He shook his hand and shot Kayla a look. "You could've given me a warning."

"You said you wouldn't hurt her," she said, becoming more upset by the minute. Why did people always have to hurt her friends? "Back when you told me –"

"Kayla," he said impatiently, "this _is_ avoiding hurt. We've only been going out for six months. It isn't working for me. I'm not waiting until thirteen years into marriage to up and quit it."

She could see he was serious. She'd barely known him at Hogwarts – he was a couple of years above her. Seven months ago, when Kevin first started working in the shop, she and Kevin dated for a couple of weeks. He'd soon met Lily after and become enamoured with her, and Kayla, not quite seeing a future with Kevin, gave them her blessing. She loved seeing Lily falling in love and so happy, and she made Kevin promise he wouldn't hurt her.

She didn't have any feelings left over, but it still stung a little. After all, he'd chosen her beautiful, spontaneous, lively best friend over her… and that had happened more than once in her life.

"Why isn't it working?" Kayla found herself asking. She felt as though she was intruding, but she had to know. "What went wrong?"

Kevin sighed, turning away from her. "I dunno. It seems she's really invested in the future. She was talking about meeting her parents… it's too soon."

"I… suppose." Kayla could actually understand, to his credit. And she hated him a little bit for that. "But I still think –"

"Kayla, I don't want to get married for at least five years," he interrupted, whirling back to her. "I want to travel. I might transfer to research or the ministry. But I'm going to take Lily out tonight, tell her all of this and be a gentleman like you asked me to. And then she can make her decision."

Kayla looked at him sceptically, but Kevin moved back to chopping his ingredients for the display and she could tell he didn't want to talk about it anymore. And as bad as Kayla felt for Lily, no matter how much she wanted to punch Kevin in the jaw, she knew she was better than that. And that he had an annoying little point.

So, clenching her fists tightly, she didn't say anything. She didn't do anything.

Maybe there was only so much meddling one could do into someone else's relationship. Perhaps they wouldn't break up after all, and Lily would understand.

After work, Kayla headed back towards the café. It had stopped raining as she stopped in front of it, reading the large gold writing again. And again. And again. She asked herself why she was re-reading the sign when she _really_ didn't want to have any part in any of it, but there was a tugging in her heart and she read it again.

She read the sign at least ten times before she caught her reflection in the mirror. A familiar sight of her round face, limp brown hair, bangs way too long and covering her eyes as usual.

And something unfamiliar, staring back, as if it had grown in overnight: dissatisfaction.

When Lily came in later that night, she slammed the front door of the flat as hard as she could, and the picture frames shook. Kayla was frozen over a bowl of cookie dough as Lily strut up and put an arm around her.

"Kayla," Lily said, her voice carefully calm, "we are getting pissed tonight." There was anger in her eyes.

Kayla was terribly glad it wasn't directed at her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

The Leaky Cauldron was a little busy for a Thursday night. The thought occurred to Kayla after Lily had taken two shots of Firewhisky, and she was grateful for the crowd, because Lily had turned up the volume on her voice.

And it was not pretty.

"You know he said he didn't want to get married?" she exclaimed loudly. Across the table, Hugo and Al were sitting there, wincing a little from their shuddering eardrums and lack of alcohol. "I _never_ mentioned marriage, no kids, no house, no _nothing_."

"Seems a little unfair," Kayla piped up, feeling the need to answer. She didn't.

"And then he sits there telling me how he likes me and this was all fun, but it was getting too serious." Lily hiccupped, shoving her chair back as she stood up. "Why'd he ask to be my boyfriend if he didn't want anything serious? Kayla, come with me."

Kayla shared a sympathetic glance with Hugo as she was dragged off to the bar. Lily and Kayla had done the first shot together. Then Lily snuck one in while Kayla was in the bathroom. Lily ordered two more, and when it came, Kayla stared at it hesitantly, biting her lip.

While she'd been drunk a few times in her life, Kayla much preferred feeling a little tipsy. When she was sixteen, she could bounce out of bed the next morning after four shots of Firewhiskey. Eight years later, she was lucky not to feel it if she had a bottle of wine.

"Oh, come on," Lily said, reading Kayla's mind and shaking her shot in front of Kayla's nose. "I know you don't have work tomorrow, live in the moment. Plus, we're both single and free now."

Kayla felt a quick flare of loneliness at those words. Then she looked at Lily, grinning expectedly up at her, and something shifted inside. "That's a good point. Bartender," she called the rather muscular man at the counter, feeling courageous and nostalgic, "two more, please."

"Bottom's up," said Lily, clinking their glasses together. They downed another, and Kayla shuddered as the bitterness went down. Then another. She felt the strong urge to gag, but only just resisted.

Lily only seemed more determined. "Another?" she asked, still grinning widely.

"Nope, three's good for me," Kayla said quickly as she saw Lily eyeing the bartender again. "Water please. And two beers for those guys over there."

"One more for me, and water," Lily told the bartender, stumbling on her words. They returned to the table, where Al and Hugo were arguing.

"Look, this song is a classic," Hugo said as Lily and Kayla sat down. "It played on the Wizarding Wireless Network Top Tunes for _two years_ in a row."

Al shrugged. "I don't buy it. This song is boring and it's barely catchy."

"You have got to be the only bloke in the world who thinks that."

"What is it about him?" Lily burst out dramatically, interrupting their conversation. Al and Hugo avoided her gaze; instead, they reached for the beers she'd brought them.

"What is what, Lily?" Kayla supplied. She wasn't sure if that came out right; her brain was starting to feel awfully fuzzy.

Lily turned to Kayla, sloppily wagging a finger at her. "You know what I mean. What is it about the slightest bit of commitment that makes men want to run away?

"I can help with that one," Hugo replied, leaning forwards and folding his hands over his beer on the table. "Men who clearly have someone else waiting for them at home."

"Hugo!" Kayla hissed, shooting a look at Hugo. Lily turned pale, though Hugo was grinning. "Not helping."

"Or," Hugo said, "he's worried you'll suddenly turn up pregnant if he gave even the slightest indication he wants to be exclusive."

"I – I didn't – I didn't tell him I want kids!" Lily cried unhappily. She was having some difficulty getting the words out.

"Or maybe –" Hugo cut off when Al elbowed him in the gut, and Hugo collapsed into laughter.

"Shut up, Hugo," Albus said, though Kayla noticed he was trying very hard to keep the corners of his mouth turning upwards. He slid Lily's unfinished shot away from her. "Lily, you were telling me the other day that you weren't sure if he even listened to you when you talked."

"Now he won't listen even half the time," Lily said sadly, looking longingly at the shot glass Al was holding. "We're finished. Went from being together nearly every day – _every day_! – to absolutely no contact at all."

Kayla patted Lily's shoulder sympathetically, trying to make her tongue form words. "Listen, Lily. We're here for you."

"With maybe less alcohol next time," Al added, and Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

"Whatever, Al, I'm twenty-four now," she told him, reaching for her shot. Al moved it further out of reach.

"I'm still older," he told her, clearly enjoying playing Older Brother. "I can cut you off."

"I'm not even drunk yet!" Lily lunged over the table to grab the glass, but she stumbled and missed. Al was openly laughing now. She sat back down in her seat, blowing strands of red hair out of her face. "Merlin, do you have to take the mickey _every_ _time_ …"

Kayla, feeling especially bad for Lily, snatched back the glass back from Al and slid it in her hands. Lily gave Kayla a thankful smile.

"Lily, it's okay. You should find a man who isn't – not _like_ that," Kayla said thickly. The alcohol hit her a little harder than it hit Lily. "It takes some time."

"I agree," Hugo said, taking a sip of his beer. "Find a man who wants to get married."

"But I don't _want_ to get married," Lily wailed, dropping her head onto Kayla's shoulder. "Not for ages. I just want to have fun."

"Not too much fun…"

"Shut up Al." Lily narrowed her eyes at him before downing the last shot. She shuddered as she put the glass down. "Maybe… maybe I never want to get married."

"Really?" Kayla asked, surprised. "But you said…"

"Oh, think about it." Lily held up a finger. "We're all single right now. Who's to say that any of will meet the person in – in the next few years? What if it takes forever, and then he won't want to get married because, _you know_ –" Lily looked to Kayla, " – the _clock_ has stopped ticking?"

"Ew," Al and Hugo chorused, and Kayla rolled her eyes.

"And then," Lily continued loudly, ticking off another finger. "Rose and Scorpius. They've been together since Hogwarts. And they – they still fight."

"They're always going to fight," Al supplied, but Lily ignored him.

"And _then_ –" Lily swallowed heavily before ticking off another finger. She could tell that the alcohol was really hitting her now. "I'm going to be constantly waiting around for him. And be disappointed and looking for something better in the meantime."

"Actually…" They all turned to Hugo. He shrugged at them. "She's got a point."

"Oh, I dunno…" Al was circling the rim of his bottle with a finger. "Being single sucks. Life is dim, but I would much rather to experience the dullness with someone than alone."

"Romantic," Kayla deadpanned, and Lily snickered.

"Half the girls I date dump me the second they realize I don't work some fancy-shmancy job at the Ministry," Hugo said. Kayla noticed him clenching his jaw at this.

"You really don't need them," Kayla reassured, and he sent her a smile.

"Anyway," Hugo said, draining the last sip of his beer and standing up, "I have to get going. I have an early shift at the shop."

As soon as Hugo was out the door, Lily turned to Kayla. "Am I drunk enough to hit on that guy over there?"

"Which guy?" Kayla followed her gesture to check behind them. There was a tall, brown-haired man at the bar, hands in his pockets and calling out to the bartender. "The one with the nice ass?"

"That one." Lily smoothed her hair and flipped it back, looking at Kayla expectantly. "How's this?"

Kayla had to blink several times to clear some of the haziness in her vision. "Good. Hot. Maybe a bit desperate."

"That's perfect."

"That's _not_ perfect," Al groaned, dropping his head in his hands. "Lily, please do not rebound with some random guy who – who just ordered a drink with an _umbrella_."

"That's kind of hot," Lily said absent-mindedly, getting up. "See you later."

Kayla smiled to herself and turned in her seat to watch. She could never have the guts to hit on a guy that hot – even three shots in – but it was always entertaining to see watch her friends do it. And of course, she'd be saving Lily later.

"Oh Merlin," Al groaned behind her. Kayla turned back, and he was peeking through his fingers at his little sister. "She's _flipping_ her hair – she just put her hand on his arm! Is she asking to get killed?"

"She's not going to be murdered, Albus," she told him, laughing. "I'm going to get her before he can pick her up. It's all right."

Al sighed in relief. "Okay. She's having water while he drinks that… whatever it is."

"She's just distracting herself."

"Lily's been wanting a wedding since she was four." Kayla raised her eyebrows at him, but he was still watching his sister. "I don't get why she's being like this. She's never been like that before."

"I reckon she liked Kevin a lot."

"I don't buy it."

"You don't have to." Kayla picked up her glass of water, figuring she might try to start lessening her hangover that was surely to come the next morning. "Maybe she's tired."

"Tired of what?"

"Dating."

"Hmm." Al paused at this, frowning to himself. "I hadn't considered that..."

"Dating is pretty tiring for most girls," she told him, glancing at Lily to make sure she hadn't left. "It's wading through the guys who are scared of commitment, or dating for the sake of saying they have a girlfriend, or the guys who just… _suck_ , honestly."

"I suppose." Al drained the last of his beer. "You haven't had a boyfriend in a while." She shrugged. "Any reason for that?"

"Haven't been interested in anyone yet," Kayla lied. It wasn't that – of course she'd met men here and there, at bookshops and cafes and the odd flirt from a customer. But she was far too shy to ever flip her hair or bat her eyelashes at these strangers. She'd managed dating her last boyfriend simply because they'd both been in the same Hogwarts House since they were eleven.

"I know what you mean," Al told her gloomily. "I went out with this bird last week. We went for coffee and she asked to be exclusive thirty minutes later."

"Ouch."

"Maybe Lily has a point," he said, but Kayla could tell he was bluffing. She smiled at him.

"Don't worry, Al," she told him, turning back to check on her friend. Lily had a frozen smile stuck to her face and was endlessly nodding to what the bloke was saying. "You'll find someone soon enough. And in the meantime, we can go rescue Lily."

Lily had begun to look a little green.

* * *

Three flights of stairs later, a piggyback from Al that had been demanded by Lily and a prolonged trip to the loo, Kayla was shoving up the window in the living room to fan out some of the smell of vomit. She could hear the rain starting up again and hitting the cobblestones of Diagon Alley. An array of colourful umbrellas were popping up, along with some folded _Daily Prophet_ newspapers.

Kayla watched the sparse strangers in the streets in the lowlight, wondering if they were heading home from work. Or heading to work at the late hour. She wondered if they felt some sort of compulsion to do something bigger than themselves. Or if she was just being silly as usual, and to let things go with the flow. That love was for the ones who took chances, and not the ones in the shadows. That dreams were just dreams, and they were meant to be let go.

"Hey," came a voice from behind her, and Kayla straightened up to turn and look at Al. He was wiping his hands on his pants, looking very tired. "She's sleeping now. Couldn't get her to brush her teeth, though."

Kayla made a face. "Another thing to deal with in the morning." Al laughed.

"Yeah, well…" he glanced in the direction of Lily's room. "Let me know if she needs anything. It seems like she took the breakup really hard."

"I was planning a movie marathon tomorrow."

"Oh yeah, that muggle thing you guys do…" Al trailed off and looked back at her. Suddenly she felt very self-conscious. "Thanks, Kayla. You're always looking out for her."

"Of course," Kayla said, folding her arms across her chest. "Anytime. You have to let her make her own mistakes. She's her own person, you know."

"Do you really think she's going to stop dating?" He asked, brows furrowed. As a single child, Kayla felt warmed that he cared so much. Not that he ever showed it in front of Lily. "I mean, she doesn't do that well with being alone."

Kayla sat down on the couch next to the open window, starting to feel a little sleepy. "I mean, you said it yourself. She's always wanted to get married. And I know witches and wizards marry young, but –"

"Are you reading this?" Al interrupted suddenly, leaning down to pick up the book on the coffee table in front of her. Kayla had to blink a couple of times before remembering the book she'd bought a few days earlier.

"Oh yeah," she said. " _Magical Mediterranean Water Plants._ Hadrian Whittle is brilliant."

"There are some amazing ingredients in there," Al said excitedly, flipping through a few pages. "There's this one plant leaf that you can add to a simple Ageing potion that –"

"I haven't actually finished it," Kayla confessed guiltily. "I've read her book on the Highland Lochs plants. I'm growing a – well," she cut off, reddening. She blamed the alcohol entirely; only Lily knew about her Herbology experiments. "I'm just on the first section of the book."

"Oh…" Al closed the book and held it out to her. "Well, let me know when you've read it, yeah?"

"Uh, yeah." Kayla stood to take the book from him, feeling as though she'd somehow disappointed him. She and Al weren't the closest in their friend group, but they'd never had any awkward moments in between them. They barely had anything in common.

Kayla instead gestured anxiously to the kitchen. "By the way, would you like some tea, or…?

"Nah, it's late. I'd better get going." There was a beat of silence; long enough for the room to start feel a tad suffocating.

Al stuffed his hands in his pockets. "See you later. Owl me if you need help with my sister, okay?"

"Yeah, sure." As soon as Al was gone, Kayla went to collapse in her bed, where her pillows felt familiar and the blankets were warm.

It was strange how twenty-four hours could shift the world into greys.

* * *

The pounding headache Kayla woke up with the next morning was better than she'd expected. Thankful she had a day off, she sat up in bed slowly, holding her head in between her hands as to not startle her. Then she groaned.

 _Why_ had she drunk so much last night?

After a grumpy teeth brushing, Kayla emerged to the kitchen to find Hugo. He was putting together a sandwich from the contents of her fridge when she smelled the heavenly scent of coffee.

"You're stealing our food," she said dully, walking past him to the coffee maker.

"I deserve some lunch for making coffee for you two," Hugo said indignantly, putting a slice of bread on top. She glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall; 12:15PM. "Is Lily up yet?"

"Lily doesn't even get up on this time sober," she told him, pouring coffee into her favourite mug ("Accio Coffee!") and adding some milk. Kayla stood beside him and leaned her head on his shoulder as he chomped down his sandwich. "Did you bring Pepper-Up?"

"Hell no," he said, mouth full. "Been up since five making pumpkin pasties for a eight AM order." Hugo worked at the sweets shop in Diagon Alley, as well as his uncle's shop, Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

"Nooooo," Kayla whined, muffling it against his shoulder. "I don't want to go. The sun is too bright."

"But it's still wet and smells like the rain from last night." He poked her. "You love that."

Kayla let out a sound that sounded vaguely between a groan and a _hmph._ "You suck."

"That's just the hangover talking."

"I hate you."

"Hi Kayla's Hangover, nice to meet you too."

"Shut up." She grumbled and took her coffee to the living room. The sun was shining through the still-open window and she could hear the usual hustle-bustle on the streets. She sat onto the edge of the couch and huddled there, sipping her hot coffee and feeling herself relax.

And it did smell like rain. Damn Hugo.

She spent a few minutes there before he came out of the kitchen, throwing his messenger bag over his head and heading towards her. "I'll see you tomorrow – tonight I've got a shift at the at the Wheezes."

"What's tomorrow?" Kayla asked sleepily.

"Quidditch," he reminded her. "Remember? Second Saturday of the month."

Every month, Hugo and several of his family members and friends played Quidditch together. They rented a pitch out in the country and made an afternoon of playing. Kayla always attended and loved to cheer them on, but was quite terrible at flying. Otherwise, she could have made a decent beater; she had a strong arm.

"I'll be there," she promised. Then paused. "Thanks for the coffee."

"See, you love me," he said, laughing and heading to the door.

She enjoyed the quiet for a while, finishing her coffee and trying to ignore that her head was still pounding. Eventually, she dragged a hoodie over her pyjamas, smoothed out her hair and stepped out of her flat to buy the potion she and Lily both needed. She began towards Slug & Jiggers before hesitating and making a sharp turn around and headed towards North Side Apothecary.

Seeing Kevin at the moment was not ideal.

Al seemed surprised to see Kayla walk in, purple unicorn pyjamas and all, but she could care less. She came up to the counter where he was standing and leaned against it. "Pepper-Up Potions. Please."

"You're more hungover than I thought you'd be," Al said, clearly trying not to smile.

"You're talking more than I thought you would."

"Okay, okay, sheesh…" He held his hands up jokingly and disappeared into the back room. Kayla looked around the shop; it was designed differently than Slug & Jiggers, as her workplace appealed much more to Hogwarts students. There were no signs of House merchandise or the same warmth to the place. Instead, the place was a bit dingy, scattered with many more potions instruments and four constantly bubbling cauldrons set up in the corner.

Al emerged from the back, holding two small jars filled with a mouthful each of grey liquid. It was steaming and fogged up the glass. He set them both in front of Kayla.

"Here you are," he said, glancing at her unicorn pyjamas again. "Why didn't you just go to Slug & Jiggers?"

"Kevin is there," she mumbled, rooting in her pockets for change. "Didn't want to go there."

"Why not?" he asked curiously as she dumped a few sickles onto to counter. "Lily's probably still asleep."

"I didn't want to see him." Kayla corked open the bottle and downed it before she realized Al was looking for a more specific answer. She cleared her throat. "It's kind of awkward. Because we used to date."

Steam from the potion was starting to come out of her ears. How appropriate.

"You used to date?" Al asked, looking at her strangely. "I didn't know that."

"It was only for a couple of weeks," she said, a little loudly because of the whistling in her ears. "Then he met Lily, so…"

He frowned. "That's not great of Lily."

"Oh, well…" Kayla shrugged. "I didn't like him that much."

"Are you sure?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. She raised hers back.

"Yes," she said defiantly. "Besides, Lily was really taken with him. You saw how devastated she was last night."

"Yeah," he said slowly, calculating his words, "and as I recall, she's not the only one hung over today."

Kayla grabbed the second Pepper-Up potion off the counter and stuffed it in her pocket, turning to leave. Her cheeks were reddening. "I'll see you at Quidditch, Al."

"Tonight!" She turned around, and he was grinning at her. "Your muggle thing."

"Movie marathon," she corrected, feeling her ears starting to burn.

"Yes, that," he said. He leaned his elbows against the counter. "I'll be there."

"Great."

"I like your pyjamas!" he called just before she slammed the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

When Kayla crept into Lily's room, Pepper-Up potion in hand, Lily was still sound asleep. Kayla tiptoed to her bed; she was snuggled under a fake fur blanket (Lily loved animals dearly) and gently snoring. In the corner, Lily's cat Mewmew was napping in the steady stream of sunlight hitting her dresser.

Kayla sat down on the edge of her bed before tapping Lily on the shoulder. "Hey. Lily. Wake up."

She inhaled sharply and poked an eye open. Then promptly shut it. "Kaylaaaaa."

"I have something to cheer you up." Lily opened an eye again to see Kayla shaking the jar of Pepper-Up in front of her.

"I hate that stuff."

"You always say that, and then feel better."

Lily paused, screwing her eyes shut tightly. Kayla was sure she was starting to feel the intense drumming in her head. She'd seen Lily through many hangovers in Hogwarts, and fewer recently. She knew the best thing to do was to be patient and not talk too much. She uncorked the potion and placed in front of Lily's nose.

Lily sighed. "Thank you."

"It was no trouble."

"You must have been hung over too," Lily said in a small voice. "I roped you into being my drinking buddy."

Kayla thought of Al, peering at her like she was transparent. "Sure."

"You're always too nice to me," she said, sitting up and holding the jar in her hands. She ran a hand through her long red hair and sighed again. "I owe you an apology."

"We had some fun last night," Kayla assured her, smiling. It was starting to feel a little hollow. "You're going through something tough. I'm going to be here for you."

"For Kevin," Lily clarified, "because… well, you know." She gave the potion a sniff and winced. She held her nose to down it as quickly as possible, but still spluttered in the end.

Lily would never outright say it, but Kayla knew what she meant.

 _He left you for me._

Kayla took the jar from her. "Kevin's stupid," she said loudly as Lily's ears began to whistle and smoke. "That's what people do. They make you trust them just for them to stab you in the back."

Lily suddenly threw her arms around Kayla and held her tightly. "I will never let a man come between us again. Or let you do that thing you do and forgive me when I date him."

"Lily…"

"You're too nice," Lily repeated, voice muffled into Kayla's hoodie. "That doesn't do well in England. Or anywhere, for that matter."

"I'm doing just fine." Kayla's words felt like they were echoing around her mind, over and over. "I honestly didn't like him that much."

"Then you're much smarter than me." When Lily let go, her eyes were red and wet. She wiped them hastily; she was never one for tears. Dramatics? Sure. But Lily had two older brothers, and she hated crying. Especially over boys.

"Come with me," Lily said, all signs of her hangover suddenly disappearing in her determination. She shoved her bedspread away and got up, searching around her room. "I'm taking you to lunch. You took a day off as well, didn't you?"

"Oh, it's alright –"

"I just have to feed Mewmew," Lily said, throwing on her own hoodie and going to the dresser for her socks. "Then we are having brunch in our jammies."

"It's nearly half past one…"

"Lunch," she corrected, sitting down and pulling on grey socks. "And coffee."

"Hugo made some –"

"You know what Hugo told me?" Lily said suddenly, turning and facing Kayla. "Something about this huge poetry slam opportunity and how he wants you to do it."

Kayla groaned and let herself fall face-first into Lily's sheets. "No."

"And you _have_ to do it," Lily continued, scooting on the bed closer to Kayla. "You never do anything for yourself. But you encouraged Hugo to do comedy night once, remember? Now he does it every week. And people actually laugh."

"No."

"That was _you_ ," Lily said determinedly. She poked Kayla's back. "You know what I think?"

"I don't want to know," she groaned into the fuzzy blanket. It was rather comfortable.

"You need to take a few more chances. Be a little selfish. Put yourself out there." Lily couldn't see, but Kayla was rolling her eyes. "I'm serious, Kayla. I know it sounds like cliché bullshit, but I just feel like you should be happy."

"I _am_ happy," Kayla said forcefully, turning around to look at Lily.

She only shrugged. "And I need to be more like you."

"Like _me?_ "

"Yes!" Lily's eyes were shining again. "You're so kind. Independent. And you _give,_ much more than you should." Kayla could only stare at her.

Lily had completely lost her marbles.

She nudged Kayla with her shoulder. "Lunch. On me. Please."

"As long," Kayla told her slowly, "as we do not have to keep talking about this."

"Deal."

* * *

It was around dinnertime that Kayla had a few moments to herself. She'd been chatting with Lily for a couple of hours at lunch before they went to Florean's for ice cream, where they talked for longer. It was a bit like Lily needed a distraction from her breakup, but perhaps she'd missed Kayla. Lily tended to be absorbed in her relationships.

Lily eventually went back to their flat to get ready for the movie marathon, and Kayla thought she would grab popcorn and drinks for the night. Instead, she found herself walking past Rosa Lee Teabag's.

And then up to the window, to peer inside.

And then inside the café.

There was a small line up of wizards and witches of all ages, waiting to sign up on a piece of paper and the end of the coffee bar. A stage was set up in the far side of the room and a couple of floating lights beamed down on it, lighting one lone wooden stool. Kayla felt a tapping on her shoulder and turned around.

"Hello," said a cheery young lady with blonde hair and shiny white teeth, approaching Kayla. She was wearing a stripped pink apron and was looking expectantly at her. "Are you here to sign up? There are a few spots left!"

"Uh…" Kayla eyes had gone wide. She'd just spotted Peter Blott, a famous poet, behind the woman. Kayla owned all his books. And she was still in her pyjama bottoms.

"Uh, no," she eventually answered, shaking her head. "I just wanted coffee."

"Oh, of course," she said, still smiling and gesturing to the register. "I hope you can stay for some of the show. It is starting in about five minutes."

"I might…" Kayla trailed off as the lady went off to speak to a couple that had just come in. Kayla inwardly cursed herself as she went to order a foamy latte; it was well past six o'clock, and she was going to be up all night.

Five minutes later, as Kayla was adding cinnamon to her coffee as the small crowd was gathering around the stage. She noticed a very diverse group of people; a couple of men that were a bit older, roughed up with scars; a woman with sleeked hair and lipstick beyond the outline of her lips; a young man, dressed entirely in black and kept his hood up; a man with greying hair in fancy dress robes; a girl who couldn't have been more than thirteen, nervously fumbling with her notes; a couple talking animatedly and excitedly with each other; another man who was standing instead of sitting at a table, notes in hand, shaking his hand and jumping around.

And of course, a girl with messy brown hair and purple unicorn pyjamas.

Her heart was pounding as she sat down, and she noticed her teacup trembling from her hands. She figured the coffee wouldn't help, but she already paid for it. Her eyes found Peter Blott sitting off to the stage at his own table, no notes prepared but a large glass of water at the ready. He was speaking to a nervous lady who kept nodding her head.

Kayla wondered if she would ever be able to just walk up to someone like that.

The show started and the lights dimmed. There was a silencer put on the coffee grinder and the same blonde lady who had asked Kayla if she would sign up came up onto stage. The lady pointed to her throat with her wand. " _Sonorous._ "

"Welcome to the first of our weekly Spring Poetry Slam!" She told the crowd, her voice much louder now. "Today we have Peter Blott as our guest speaker, who will perform a few of his own words at the end."

There was a round of applause at this. Peter Blott was grinning.

"I will remind all our newcomers," the lady continued, "to respect the poet's space as they read. It often becomes emotionally charged, and we will not be shouting anything but snaps and whistles of encouragement."

Something inside Kayla softened. Or maybe it was just the hot coffee.

"Without further ado, I would like to welcome our first speaker of the night!" The old man in fancy emerald dress robes stood, and people began to clap and cheer.

Kayla stared down at her half-finished latte, feeling like the room had suddenly become quite small. As though the spotlight had turned on her, even though it hadn't. Her cheeks were burning and her heart was thumping in her ears.

She hadn't even signed up, and she was in hell.

It wasn't long before Kayla was abandoning her coffee and tiptoeing out of the café.

After a very long, hot shower, Kayla was starting to feel the knot inside her belly slowly untangle itself. She stepped out to the living room afterwards, feeling a little bit of calm after the shock at the café. She stepped into the kitchen to see Lily, dancing and singing along to a song on the radio.

"Kayla!" she called when she saw her, and pulled her into the kitchen. "Dance with me!"

"Feeling better?" Kayla asked, starting to grin. Her energy was infectious.

"Of course!" Lily winked and twirled around. "I'm about to have a movie night with my best mates. We're going to gorge ourselves on popcorn. I'm not going to wake up with a hangover tomorrow because we're playing Quidditch!"

"Quidditch solves everything!" Kayla cheered. She cranked up the volume, and they swayed to the music as they set out Butterbeer, bowls of popcorn and pumpkin pasties. When Rose and Scorpius entered the flat, they encountered Lily and Kayla belting along to the Wireless at the top of their lungs.

"Is the singing required?" Scorpius said wearily, setting down a plate of nachos onto the coffee table. "We have to work at shift at St. Mungo's after this." Rose and Scorpius both worked as Healers-in-Training at the local hospital.

"Don't be a prat," Rose told him, nudging his shoulder and grinning at the girls, moving to hug Lily. "We've got loads of time to start a movie."

"How long are they?" Scorpius joked, throwing off his leather jacket. He and Rose planted down onto the loveseat on the side of the television, grabbing the bowl of popcorn. "So where's Hugo?"

"Hugo had to work," Kayla explained, grabbing the remote control. She and Lily had settled down on the couch and were flipping through movies.

"Al should be coming," Lily said absent-mindedly. "What about _You've Got Mail_?" Kayla raised an eyebrow at her; she knew Lily was good at avoiding her feelings, but she didn't think she would watch one of her favourite romantic movies after a breakup.

"That one's old," Rose complained.

"It's a classic!"

"Nothing sappy," Scorpius put in, eyeing the bottles of Butterbeer wistfully.

"It's not _sappy_ ," Lily protested, and Scorpius rolled his eyes.

"What about a documentary?" Rose asked, lighting up. She was a bit of a history nut, and the previous movie night, had forced them to watch a gruelling documentary on the guns used in the American Civil War.

Wizards didn't even _use_ guns.

"No," Lily and Scorpius chorused.

"There's this new movie from _BBC_ ," Kayla said, scrolling through titles on the television with the remote. "It's about a this man who gets trapped in Britain 1940's and gets drafted in the war. He runs away and falls in love…"

"That sounds perfect," Scorpius said quickly, sitting back and putting his arm around Rose. "Can we watch that?

Rose stuck her tongue out at him, but smiled. "Fine."

Lily pulled down the shades as they started up the movie. It was one of Kayla's favourite times with her friends. She loved many muggle things, and movies were something she'd introduced long ago, when she and Lily were still very young. Kayla's mother was been muggle-born and wanted Kayla to regularly experience muggle life outside of the wizarding world. She loved magic, but Lily and Hugo would agree that films were one of the best muggle inventions.

The movie was about ten minutes in when Al poked his head in, mouthing, "Sorry!" He closed the door behind him and sat down beside Kayla on the couch, wiggling out of his coat. Kayla passed him a bowl of popcorn.

"Thanks," he whispered, smiling at her. Al's hair was damp and wild, as though he'd just gotten out of the shower, and he smelled like fresh soap. He was wearing a dark sweater that defined his broad shoulders. She was suddenly glad it was dark, because her cheeks were burning; she'd never thought Al was attractive before.

She was very aware of him beside her, trying not to watch him in her peripheral vision for the next minute or so. Every shift he made was distracting; grabbing a drink from the table, munching on popcorn or putting his feet up on an ottoman. Kayla had never paid attention before – why now?

Maybe it was the day before, when he stayed to take care of Lily, and he was being sweet to her. It could have been his when he was talking about how he didn't want to be single forever – different from many of the men Kayla encountered. Perhaps it was that morning, when she swore he could see right through her.

Kayla started determinedly at the screen, taking a quiet breath in to stop feeling so self-conscious. She was being silly. It was just Al. She'd never even thought of him as anything but Lily's older brother. And likely, he probably thought she was interested in Kevin.

Which, of course, she wasn't.

"Ugh," Rose said suddenly, narrowing her eyes at the television. "This guy is a doctor? He's dumb as shit."

"What's a doctor?" Scorpius asked.

"It's like a healer," Rose explained, still looking darkly at the main character. "How's he going to serve in a war? He's probably too busy working out to ever treat anyone."

"What war?" Al asked, confused.

"The movie description said he gets stuck in World War II," Rose said, "Though they haven't gotten there yet." Kayla noticed she and Scorpius were holding hands. Her engagement ring glinted every once in a while in the light from the television.

"Hey," Al whispered to Kayla, poking her in the arm. She didn't look at him, and she could practically hear him thinking how weird she was being. "Pass a pumpkin pasty?"

 _Okay Kayla,_ she thought, reaching to the other side of the table for a pasty. _It's okay. It's just Al. You've been hanging out with him for years. Just because he looks kind of cute tonight isn't reason to freak out._ She handed him the cake, and he smiled at her again. She felt her heartbeat speed up and she quickly looked back at the screen.

 _Smooth._

She managed to focus on the story and relax a little when the movie progressed into 1942. The movie itself was incredible, even if she didn't know that much about the muggle wars, and she found herself slowly engrossed in it.

The rest of the night went on normally, as long as she didn't look at Al too much. Lily fell asleep on Kayla's shoulder and Scorpius and Rose bickered when the doctor was handling wounds and debated the correct method of treatment. All they needed was Hugo to laugh at all the inappropriate spots.

When the movie ended (and Kayla had to swipe away a few tears), Rose waved her wand to lighten the room. Lily woke up with a start.

"What happened?" she mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

"Movie's ended," Scorpius said, looking at Rose. "I guess we have to head to our shift now."

"I thought it was a marathon," Al asked, frowning. "You're not staying?"

"You guys can continue," Rose told them while she and Scorpius pulled their coats on. She sighed as Al stood up and hugged his cousin. "I know, we never see you guys anymore. Our schedule is mad."

"Sure you can't stay for one more drink?" Kayla asked sadly as she hugged them goodbye. "Lily didn't even see the end of the movie."

"Hey!" She felt a poke in the back as an indignant Lily protested. "He goes back to his own time and leaves his girl. It's heartbreaking. I got the gist."

"I love how sensitive you are," Kayla replied sarcastically, and Lily laughed.

"Quidditch tomorrow," Lily said sternly to Rose and Scorpius as she hugged them. "Ten o'clock. You're not allowed to miss that."

"Of course we won't!" Rose said, looking scandalized. Scorpius just rolled his eyes; he never thought Quidditch was all that important, especially their amateur games between friends.

After they left, the apartment felt immediately quieter, but Lily plopped back onto the couch and grabbed the remote. "Okay, _now_ we're watching _You've Got Mail._ "

"Is that one of those romance movies you like so much?" Al asked, sitting down and opening another bottle of beer. "Or is it an old one?"

"It's both," Kayla said, sitting down as well. She was trying not to look at him too much, or too little, and it was resulting in her looking back and forth from the television to Al rapidly. Thankfully, he didn't seem to notice. "I'm fine with it, Lily."

Lily cheered and started the movie, dimming the lights with her wand. Kayla had also seen this movie numerous times and secretly loved it. Al had also seen this movie – well, the first ten minutes before he'd run away each time.

"And so it begins," he muttered darkly, sinking back into the couch cushions.

Twenty minutes later, Lily had fallen asleep again while hugging the armrest and Al was asking way too many questions.

"So it's like they're owling each other," Al whispered to Kayla, "except they do it through these… weird plastic boxes that look like televisions."

"Computers," she corrected.

"And instead of writing it down like normal human beings, they just wave their fingers and it appears on the screen."

"They're typing," Kayla pointed out, smiling at the idea at the characters were waving their fingers in mid-air. "My mum has one of these. It's like an old typewriter but connected to the computer."

"Typewriters were invented ages ago, weren't they?" Al said crossly, rubbing his eyes. "Why invent another one…"

Kayla shrugged. "I like owls."

"They're very efficient. And if we had those box things, Scorpius would definitely be sending me way too many notes throughout the day."

"Would he?" Kayla asked, surprised. Al nodded. "But he's usually so quiet in person."

"We send owls all the time when he's working a long shift," Al told her, shifting so he was sitting up straight on the couch. "He's extremely talkative in writing."

"Interesting…" Kayla smiled. "It's interesting how people act in front of different people. Like these two characters supposedly hate each other, but get along in writing."

"What's up with these two writing anonymously, anyway?" He whispered loudly, gesturing to the screen. "Seems like a sure way to get murdered."

"It is not!" Kayla protested, slightly distracted by his breath on her skin. Had he gotten closer, somehow? "Isn't it nice to know that there's a random person out there who just wants to hear what you have to say?"

"No, because they'll just use it to get into your house at night."

"So cynical."

"Just realistic," he insisted. "These two are just in a story. I only like to owl people I know."

"Like Scorpius."

"He can get annoying."

"Ohhh." Kayla smirked at him. "Just your mum, then."

"Oi!" He elbowed her gently, and she giggled. And then inwardly groaned – since when did Kayla _giggle_? Al was turning slightly pink in the low light of the television. "You're just a huge romantic, I think."

"No…" she said slowly. He was raising her eyebrows, and blush rose to her cheeks as well. "Okay, maybe just a little."

"A _little_."

"Don't tell Hugo, he'll never live it down that I admitted it."

Al snorted, but was quiet for a moment. The movie went on, and Kayla tried to fixate on the movie's Christmas lights and pretty snow. And not his shoulder against hers, or how he felt warm and smelled really nice.

"I was thinking of setting Hugo up," Al whispered slowly, glancing at Kayla. "I have a friend who's really nice, from Hogwarts. She wouldn't look down on his job."

Kayla perked up. Hugo seemed very sad about his dating prospects the day before, and though he was forever the optimistic one of their group, she could tell he was reaching the end of his patience when it came to girls. "Who are you thinking?"

"Gemma Thomas," he said. "I mean, she was in my year, so she'd be a year older than him, but she's hilarious and not really into the traditional path of doing things."

"Traditional path," Kayla echoed.

"Yeah." He was looking her, and she was fixated on the screen. "You know. Get married, have kids, work until you die."

"That wouldn't be Hugo," she said, thinking about a possible trajectory of Hugo's life. "He'll probably quit his job and do comedy all over the world."

"Exactly." He was still looking at her, almost too closely. "So… should I do it?"

"Of course!" Kayla said. "Why not? I remember Gemma, she's sweet."

"Okay." Al leaned back into his seat, looking satisfied for some reason. "Right, I'll invite her for drinks after Quidditch. She'll meet him then."

Kayla didn't say anything, but her breath caught a little when he positioned his arm around the back of her side of the couch. She glanced at him, but he was watching the movie again.

He was very warm.

They fell back into the lull of the movie, and then all they could hear was Lily's quiet snores and the characters on the screen. Kayla's heart was beating a little loudly in her chest, but in a good way. If there was such a thing. She really liked the ease of their conversation.

"Oh, now he knows who she is," Al whispered after some time. "And he's being a prat, now…"

"He's a bit of a prat in the entire movie."

"True." Al drained the last of his beer. "I liked her bookshop, it's a shame it closed down."

"Exactly," Kayla said, smiling at him. "I like that we don't have huge corporations. We can have Obscurus Books down the road and never worry it will close down one day."

"We have some chains," Al pointed out. "Like Rosa Lee, there's one in Hogsmeade."

"They have excellent coffee."

Al suddenly chuckled, and Kayla realized he was looking at Lily. He nodded to her. "She's asleep."

"She slept through the whole movie, practically."

"She loves sleep."

"Yeah." It was starting to rain and the droplets were hitting the window noisily. Kayla shut the slightly open window with her wand. "Maybe we should get to sleep soon. The movie is almost over."

"Maybe," he said gently. Kayla made the mistake of meeting his gaze. His eyes were dark and soft, and she couldn't breathe all of a sudden. "We could have another drink."

"Umm." She looked back at the movie. "Tea?"

"Sure."

Kayla started to get up, which woke Lily. "Is the movie over?" she asked sleepily, closing her eyes again.

"Almost," Al said, glancing at Kayla and back to Lily. "You can go to bed if you want."

"Mmm…" Lily hummed, and without opening her eyes, dragged herself to her room. Kayla followed her halfway, turning into kitchen to fill the kettle with water. As she set it down onto the stove, she heard Al behind her.

Kayla cleared her throat. "We have some nice teas," she told him, turning to the cabinet beside the stove and opening it. "Lavender, chamomile, lemon…"

"Any is fine. What's your favourite?"

"Erm…" Kayla rooted through the different teas to find the tea bags. "Peppermint. With ginger."

"I like Earl Grey, but it'll keep me awake." He crossed his arms against his chest and leaned back against the counter. "Let's have yours."

"Earl Grey," Kayla teased shyly, grinning at him. "How old are you, sixty?"

"Oi," Al protested, seemingly caught off guard. His ears were turning red. "It goes well with the crossword."

"So you're sixty-five."

"Approximately." He was chuckling now. "Has anyone told you that you're very charming?"

It was Kayla's turn to be caught off guard. The kitchen walls felt as though they were closing in. "What?"

"I'm just saying." His face was a little pink, but he was smirking. He stepped a tiny bit closer. "There is no other way to someone's heart than to call them an old man."

"I wasn't aware." Kayla's eyes drew to his dark messy hair, wishing she could run her hands through the strands. Her heart felt like it was hammering into her throat. "I thought it was through offering them tea."

His face softened into a smile. "It's actually through wearing unicorns on their pants."

"Oh, _god_ …" Kayla moaned, breaking his gaze and turning to the slowly bubbling water on the stove. She really wished she hadn't gone through Diagon Alley in her pyjamas. "So embarrassing."

"You were so pleasant this morning," he teased.

"Shut it." She turned off the stove with her wand and began to fill two grey mugs with the boiling water. "I regret everything."

"I thought they were cute," he said. Kayla snuck a look at him, and he was watching her carefully.

"I suppose that's why I bought them," she said. The raindrops hitting the kitchen window were matching the drumming of her heart and his closeness was warm and terrifying. She hardly ever looked people in the eyes, but he wouldn't move his gaze and his green eyes were rather nice to look at.

She was sure he knew how nervous she was feeling. Perhaps he wasn't directly aware that she hadn't seriously dated anyone since her two-year relationship at Hogwarts and it had been far too long since she'd been with someone, but it was probably written all over her face.

And probably the reason she really, _really_ wanted him right now.

"Erm." She cleared her throat and looked away. "We should drink our tea, it's getting cold…"

Al didn't move his gaze. "You're nervous."

Kayla sputtered. "No, _no,_ I think –"

"That's okay," he said gently. He moved her hair behind her ear, and his fingers brushed her cheek softly. "Let's go out."

She found herself drawn to his eyes again. He was smiling.

"Yeah," she found herself saying, inexplicably, because she also felt like running and hiding under her covers. "Yeah, okay. If Lily doesn't mind."

"Lily won't care," Al told her, finally breaking eye contact to pay attention to their tea. He dropped the tea bag into her mug, than his. "Maybe we can watch the rest of the movie?"

"Sure."

"I kind of liked it," he said sheepishly. He held out his hand for her and she took it, finally feeling something inside calm down, finally feeling something other than nervous and shaky.

Finally feeling excited.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

The recreational Quidditch pitch was located out in the country, far enough that muggles never ventured there. While wizards and witches could see a vast field complete with a few stands and changing rooms, muggles could only see a gigantic fort without any indication of how to get in.

That Saturday morning, Kayla found herself sitting in the stands, sleepily sipping her coffee as a considerably sleepier Scorpius Malfoy sat beside her, grumbling.

"You should've brought some for me," he complained. "I just finished an overnight shift and got three hours of sleep."

Kayla closed her eyes and inhaling the coffee deeply. "You didn't tell me, and I am not obligated."

"Can I have a sip of yours?" he begged.

"No chance."

" _Please_?"

"Never."

Scorpius sounded as though he were about to cry. Kayla opened her eyes to take a peek at him; he was holding his head and yawning.

"Why don't you just go home?" Kayla asked, taking pity and holding out her cup to him. He smiled gratefully and took a long gulp.

"Rose would've killed me," Scorpius said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and handing the cup back to her. "I have no idea why this game matters so much. She got this much sleep as well, but she looks wide awake."

Kayla spotted her in the sky, curly red hair easy to spot. Rose was zooming along on her broomstick; she was playing Chaser, as she did in Hogwarts on the Gryffindor team. Hugo was the other Chaser on their team, and they were passing the Quaffle back and forth as their warm-up. Lily had been made Beater, though she'd never been great with any positions in particular, she was a great flier. Al was Seeker, just as he'd been for five consecutive years at Hogwarts for the Gryffindor team. Al's older brother James had joined to play Keeper and guard the hoops.

It was a small team, but they couldn't always find the extra Chaser or Beater.

On the other team, twins Lysander and Lorcan Scamander were practicing dives in preparation as Chasers. Gemma Thomas was playing Keeper and Ava Bones was the Seeker; they seemed to be discussing their play strategy quietly to each other. Daniel Finch-Fletchy, on the other hand, was swinging his bat in preparation to play Beater and nearly dropped it.

Kayla was slightly embarrassed she'd dated him for two years.

Daniel Finch-Fletchy was a sweet boyfriend, but he could be a bit thick. Kayla didn't see that for a long time, swept off her feet from the attention and her first boyfriend, but it was when things began to go sour that things changed. All of a sudden, she wasn't sure if she could trust her outlook on things to lead her actions. It was probably the reason that she didn't travel or experiment or do any of things she thought she would do after she graduated.

Liam Jordan, the referee, was blowing his whistle and jolted Kayla out of her thoughts. Beside her, she realized that Scorpius was sneaking sips of her coffee.

"Just have it," she told him, eyebrow raised. He grinned sheepishly at her.

"Sorry."

"It's okay." She watched him gulp greedily from the cup. "Being a Healer sounds really tough."

"In training," he reminded her gloomily. "I'm lucky I have Rose there, otherwise I'm sure I'd go mad."

"And sending Al owls," she added.

"No, that's a bit annoying," he said, and Kayla snorted.

"Your mum mentioned you the other day," Scorpius told her, as though he'd just remembered. Kayla's mother worked as a Healer in St. Mungo's in the Magical Accidents department. "She said she's hoping you visit for tea."

"Oh yeah." Kayla made a mental note to owl her mum. "It's been ages. Our schedules never match up."

"Sometimes Rose and I have that problem," he replied. There was a pause.

"So... marriage." Kayla cleared her throat. "That's huge."

"Is it?"

"Isn't it?" she said, looking at him strangely. "It's a big deal. Lifelong commitment, and all that."

"That's not the huge deal," he said, rolling his eyes.

"I don't know," Kayla muttered, thinking of Daniel. And, most recently, Al. Both were playing Quidditch above them. "I'd probably have to think about it for years."

Scorpius shrugged. "Don't."

He looked up at the game then and his blond hair was glinting in the sunlight. Scorpius had very sharp features, high cheekbones and clear blue eyes. It was obvious why Rose was so attracted to him, though he talked too little for Kayla's taste. She didn't like prying answers out of people.

Kayla spotted Al in the sky, close to his team's hoops. His team had scored thirty points but they were nowhere close to finding the Snitch. She could feel her cheeks colouring as she thought of the night before.

Nothing more had happened, of course. They'd finished their movie and tea with light conversation before he'd gone home. She really enjoyed talking him, which was very new; she'd previously thought they had nothing in common. Turns out they had plenty to talk about, especially when it came to reading and potions.

She would probably never tell him about her writing if she could help it, though.

"The big deal about the wedding is the logistics," Scorpius explained. "Plus it's costing a lot."

"Is it worth it?"

"Sure." He shrugged. "It's something Rose really wants. Plus she wants our families to get along, hence the complications."

"I guess so."

Scorpius looked at her. "I'm getting the sense you're not entirely sold on the marriage concept."

"No…" Kayla began slowly. "I like it. I'm not entirely sold on it happening for me."

"And why's that?"

"I'm not sure I really trust my judgement of men."

"Hmm." He seemed surprised. "Really."

"You just never really know a person," she said. "It takes years, and by that point, you might just break up."

"Or not."

"Or not," she agreed.

Scorpius closed his eyes for a while, and Kayla watched the game. She loved Quidditch and wished she could play. She'd always marvelled at the rush of it all. When she was still at Hogwarts, she'd promised herself that she would get over her fear of flying one day, even if she never played the game.

Why did all of her dreams feel so dead lately?

"Ah, I think Al's got it," Scorpius said grumpily. "Thank Merlin, the game was going on forever."

Sure enough, Al was speeding towards the other side of the pitch, eyes fixated on a glint of gold.

"It's only been about an hour." Kayla's stomach was tangling into knots; she hadn't had a chance to say anything before the game, but she was sure he would say something after the match. He seemed to be very good at saying exactly what was on his mind – something that scared her.

Above her, Al was catching the Snitch and his teammates were cheering. His hair was windswept and his cheeks were pink. Somehow, seeing him in his Quidditch gear, triumphant and assured and _alive_ made Kayla feel even more attracted to him. It was odd that she'd never noticed before, but it was as though she'd never really looked at him properly before. And now she didn't want to stop.

But in the bright sunlight Quidditch pitch, it felt very obvious to her of what was hazy the night before. Al was a confident person. He was handsome, had a great job that he loved and spent time with his family. Of course she was going to be impressed by him and any attention he gave her.

How would she know if these were real feelings or not?

"Let's go, then," Scorpius said, sighing heavily and standing up. "The sooner we leave, the sooner we can eat lunch and the sooner I can sleep."

Kayla then had a breakthrough thought. She couldn't risk doing something she regretted (like jumping him, several times), and she was sure she would regret screwing up whatever was going on with Al at the moment. She would just have to keep a little distance between them while simultaneously getting to know him even better.

Perfectly solid plan.

* * *

The solidity of the plan lasted about five minutes.

Back at The Leaky Cauldron after the match, many of the group were slowly settling down for a hearty lunch and drinks when Al pulled Kayla aside. The group was strewn across the pub so it wasn't as though it was particularly strange occurrence, but Kayla still saw Hugo looking at them strangely.

"Hi," Al said, walking them to the bar. He was smiling at her and his hair was still windswept. "I have an idea."

Kayla was nervously smiling back; Hugo had gone back to talking to his sister, but kept glancing at them. At least Lily hadn't noticed. "What's that?"

"I know you have work tomorrow morning," he began. This was true; she'd briefly mentioned it the night before. "I was hoping we could do dinner at my place after. What do you think?"

Kayla's eyes snapped to his. "At yours?" She'd been there a few times, but they mostly hung out at her and Kayla's flat.

"Or somewhere interesting," he offered. He seemed calm on the surface, but she could see his ears turning red. For some reason, it comforted her to know he felt a little nervous, too.

"We can go to your place." But as soon as she said it, she realized she was breaking her decision to keep some distance.

Oops.

Al leaned his forearm onto the bar, stepping closer to her. Even that made her pulse quicken slightly. "Great! I mean, I'm not the best cook, but I've been working on it lately. And you could maybe bring those brownies you made once for my birthday. If you have any."

She blushed. "You remember that? It was months ago."

"Yeah." He grinned at her before glancing at the bartender at the other end of the bar. "Do you want a drink?"

"Erm…" Kayla was looking at where Hugo and Lily were sitting. Hugo was still glancing at them, and when he caught her gaze, he wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"Everything okay?" Al asked, gently nudging her arm.

"I haven't talked to Lily yet," she confessed, looking back at him. "I should ask her if this is okay."

Al looked at her questioningly. "Why wouldn't she be okay with it? It's just a date."

"I know," she said, blushing again. She didn't mean to insinuate more out of it. "But don't you think it would be weird for her?"

He looked across the room to Lily. She still hadn't noticed anything; she was distracted by the food in front of her, though Kayla realized she was dragging mashed potatoes back and forth in her plate.

"I don't think she's going to care, Kayla," he said. "Honestly. And even if she does, it's not as though she should."

He left to go back to sit at the table, leaving Kayla very confused. She turned around and flagged down the bartender.

"One beer please?"

"Make it two," said Hugo, coming up behind her. Kayla turned to see him grinning at her. "What was _that_ all about?"

"What?

"With you and Albus!" he half-whispered excitedly. "Was he asking you out? I always thought he had a thing for you –"

"Hugo –"

"– but he has literally never mentioned it –"

" _Hugo_ –"

"– and this is perfect."

Kayla stared at him as the beers clinked beside them at the bar. "Why is it perfect?"

"For my plan to change your life!" he explained, grabbing his bottle. "Remember? I was thinking I'd have to get you to hit on some random guy or set you up on a blind date."

" _A blind_ –" Kaya cut off, shaking her head and taking a long gulp from her bottle. "I have to tell you something."

"Clearly."

"Okay." She took a deep breath. "Last night –"

"This happened last night?"

"Shh!" Kayla scowled at him and Hugo shut up, listening gleefully. "Last night, Rose and Scorpius left for their shift, and Lily fell asleep like always, which is kind of stupid because half the time she ends up picking the movie –"

"You are telling this so badly," Hugo groaned. "You and Al?"

"Right." She swallowed. "We may have… well, you know…"

" _Snogged?_ "

"Flirted!" she said hastily, and she could see Hugo sniggering. "We flirted. And talked. And it was really really nice."

"Okay, okay," he conceded, tipping his bottle towards her. "I can see we are going have to take this ultra-slowly."

"We?"

"It's been a while for you in the dating scene," he pointed out. "You're going to want to relax and play it cool."

"Sure, I can do that." That had been the original plan, anyway.

"But also tell him your last boyfriend was an asshat."

Kayla turned to Hugo in disbelief. She lowered his voice, as her ex-boyfriend was sitting in the other corner of the pub. "I do not have to tell Al about Daniel cheating on me. That's probably something I can keep to myself forever."

"Well, he's going to wonder why you're going so slow, isn't he?" he asked. "He dated his previous girlfriend last year. Your ex was in Hogwarts."

She sighed. "I haven't told Lily yet. She's going to want to know."

"She will," Hugo said slowly, giving her that same questioning look Al had earlier. "But I don't think you should tell her yet. You should only tell her if you decide to make this a thing."

She frowned, considering it. She'd never intentionally kept anything from Lily before. "You think?" she asked.

"Definitely," he said, nodding. "Just in case you go back to being friends. Which you shouldn't."

"If I don't scare him off," Kayla said uncertainly, leaning back against the bar. She caught Al's eye at the table and he smiled at her before continuing conversation. "I just don't know how to act with him. We've known each other forever."

"Why does that have to change?" he replied. Kayla shrugged.

Hugo did have a point.

* * *

It was much later, after Al had introduced Gemma to Hugo, Scorpius had dragged Rose home for sleep and most of their friendly Quidditch amateur players had left. Even Lily had disappeared early, just before sundown. Kayla and Al were spying on Hugo and Gemma seated at the bar together; they seemed to be getting on pretty well.

"Look, look now," Kayla said urgently, and Al quickly looked at the couple. Al and Kayla were seated in the booth beside each other and had a great view of them. They might have been a little tipsy as well. "She just flipped her hair again. Sure sign."

"Hmm…" Al raised his eyebrows at her. "I think she's done that three times, now? What are Hugo's moves?"

"Well, he's tall, yeah?" He nodded, and Kayla continued, "So he always does this thing where pretends to rest his arm on one shoulder. Like an armrest. And then when she laughs, he puts his arm around her."

Al snorted into his beer. "That's lame as hell."

"It has worked for all his girlfriends," Kayla pointed out.

"What else?"

"Umm…" Kayla started ticking off her fingers. "He loves playing with their hair. But he usually does that after they've already snogged. Merlin, why does he always tell me this stuff…"

"Moving on," Al said quickly. "What about stuff he'd do at this stage, that we could potentially make fun of?"

"He also spreads his shoulders out." Kayla gestured at Hugo. "Like now, see? He kind of makes himself seem bigger. He's already huge, it's weird."

Al began to laugh. She really liked his laugh – was that strange? "I knew about that one."

"What else…" she muttered, biting her lip. "Oh, sometimes he'll do that thing where he'll keep touching her arm or shoulder. He's told me he'll test it out first to see if she minds it, which is considerate, I guess."

She suddenly realized Al was staring at her. "Don't bite your lip."

Feeling bold, probably from the alcohol, she tilted her head. "Or what?"

Al closed his eyes and inhaled slowly, but slid closer at put his arm around the back of her side of the booth. "What else, then?"

"Well…" Kayla looked back at the couple. Gemma was giggling at something Hugo said. "He compliments them, but differently. He always compliments Lily and I very outrageously and directly, but when he likes a girl, he'll be really subtle about it."

"Hmm." He hummed quietly. "You guys are very close."

"Sometimes he keeps talking even when I don't reply." She turned back to Al, who was watching her carefully. "He kind of saved me in school. You know, because Lily and I weren't in the same house, but Hugo was in Hufflepuff with me."

"Oh…" He trailed off, surprised. "I didn't realize that was hard. But we almost never talked at school."

"Yeah."

"How was it, being in Hufflepuff?" Al asked, touching the end of her hair and playing gently with it. "I loved Gryffindor house. It was always a laugh."

"I loved it," she said, smiling and remembering. "Our common room was very cozy. My friends were very kind, and we were all friends with people from other houses. I think House Unity was bigger for us than other houses."

"Yes," he said softly, still playing with her hair. "You're very shy, usually."

Kayla felt as though her heart was skipping every other beat. "Yeah."

"We thought you guys were softies," he joked, and she laughed. "Your Quidditch team sucked."

"I usually cheered for Gryffindor," she admitted. Al looked extremely pleased to hear that.

"They're leaving," he pointed out suddenly, gesturing with his head. Hugo and Gemma were leaving a few sickles on the bar and hopping from their barstools. Hugo held her hand on their way out. "Looks like they're going together."

"You're a good matchmaker," Kayla teased. She made a mental note to owl Hugo the next day. "I think Hugo was getting a bit restless."

"You think?" he said, looping hair strands around his finger.

"Yeah." Kayla bit her lip again, suddenly worried. "Lily looked very sad earlier."

"She always gets back up," Al reassured her. "She needs to go through her denial and sad phase for a few weeks. Then she'll be back to normal."

"I hope so."

"You really care about your friends, don't you?" he observed. She nodded.

"I was going to make Lily cookies, but she wanted to get pissed instead," she said, and he laughed. Al seemed to have moved closer in the last little while, though she had originally planned for them to get to know each other, fully sober and with a reasonable amount of space in between them.

Plans always went to shit, didn't they?

"I should probably get going," Al said, dropping his fingers from her hair and taking her hand. "I have to have dinner with my parents, plus I want to clean my flat for our date tomorrow."

"Right," Kayla replied, feeling a knot of anxiety at his words. She smiled at him the best she could muster. She couldn't help but wonder if there was more to dinner on their date, but she couldn't bloody well _ask,_ could she? "Yeah, that sounds fun."

"We can do something else if you want," he told her, squeezing her hand. "I don't want you to be nervous. Not that there's anything to be nervous about."

Kayla thought she would melt right there.

"I'm excited for tomorrow," she reassured him.

And she was. She was definitely attracted to him, but she couldn't lie and say she didn't feel slightly intimidated by him. She wanted to get to know him, but she was suddenly worried the more he got to know _her_ , the less he would find. But she really did enjoy spending time with him, so she did feel excited for their date tomorrow. Genuinely.

Things just felt a bit more complicated now.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

It was a very slow day at Slug & Jiggers.

Sunday tended to be, as Ministry workers who needed ingredients were taking a day off. Diagon Alley tended to be quiet on Sundays, unless it was summertime. In the sunny glow from the shop windows, Kayla was reading _Magical Mediterranean Water Plants_ to pass the time _._ Mr. Jiggers never minded if she read on the job, as long as she wasn't avoiding customers or there wasn't a shipment waiting to be set out.

Kayla thumbed through the index curiously, searching for any plants she recognized, first. Though she still grew a couple of magical plants on her windowsill, they were nothing like the ones she used to grow. Some of her fondest memories at school were working in the Herbology greenhouse with her father.

She was halfway through reading an article on Gillyweed when the door jingled. She looked up, starting to push her book aside when she saw Albus, holding two coffee cups.

"Good morning," he greeted, setting down one of the cups in front of her on the front counter. "Thought I would offer your favourite coffee as a bribe."

Kayla raised an eyebrow, though she was trying not to smile too widely. She didn't want to give away how surprised and touched she was. "Rosa Lee's isn't my favourite. But I do love their coffee."

"Good enough?" he said hopefully, going around the counter to step closer to her. "Or do I need a bit more incentive?"

She blushed; she hadn't flirted in ages, but she could definitely get used to this. "Maybe a bit more."

He chuckled and opened his rucksack. She could see a few groceries before he brandished a small brown paper bag from within. He held it out for her, and she peeked inside; there was a slice of banana bread inside.

"This looks good," Kayla said shyly, taking it and brushing her hair behind her ear. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he replied, chuckling, "but I'm not going to lie, I really am bribing you."

She split the cake into half and set it down on the paper bag. "For what?"

He shifted his rucksack on his back and shrugged. "Well, I'm not working today, but my boss wanted me to extract Venomous Tentacula seeds for this potion that will be ready tomorrow morning."

Kayla wrinkled her nose. "You want _me_ to help?" To her surprise, Al reached up poked her nose lightly.

"Merlin, you're cute," he told her, smirking. His ears were turning pink again as she blinked up at him, unable to reply.

He grabbed half of the bread and took a bite. "So, are you in? I'm rubbish at Herbology, and I brought you the best thing in the world."

"Banana bread?"

"Coffee."

"Okay, okay," Kayla conceded, taking her coffee cup in her hands, taking off the lid and inhaling her drink with closed eyes. She loved the smell of coffee more than coffee itself. "I do need to put in cream and sugar anyway."

"I already did. Two creams, one sugar." She looked at him, but he was suddenly very interested in the banana bread.

"How did you know that?"

"I guessed."

Kayla hid her smile behind her cup. Maybe Al had noticed her before she realized it. "Good guess. Yeah, I'm in. Venomous Tentaculas are easy to deal with, if you have the right tools."

"What's that, now?"

She went to the back room, rummaging through the pantry to find a large jar full of tiny, spiky, black bugs. Luckily, they were dead. Al looked quite apprehensive as she came out with the jar, holding them up.

"Chizpurfles," she announced.

* * *

Kayla was allowed to close up shop for lunch, so that was what she did when she went to visit the North Side Apothecary across Diagon Alley. She could see Al in there alone – the shop was closed on Sundays – so she knocked on the door, peering inside. He opened the door and took her hand to pull her inside, locking the door behind him.

"I brought the Chizpurfles," Kayla said, gesturing to her bag as he led them to the back room. "All we have to do is distract the Tentacula with it and then their seeds are very easy to take. They get sleepy from eating and as long as you don't bonk them on the head –"

Kayla suddenly stopped as Al turned around, grinning at her. She felt the heat in her face as he and stepped closer to her, pressing her back into the doorframe of the back room.

"What?" she asked, almost defensively.

"Hello to you too?" he said, raising an eyebrow. His smile was much too mischievous for her not to feel suspicious.

"Hello," she replied carefully.

"Putting aside the fact that you are holding an enormous jar full of dead parasites, you look very lovely right now."

She blushed furiously and looked down at the bag. "I actually only brought enough for three Tentaculas."

"And you're smart!" he complimented in a teasing voice, squeezing her hand.

Kayla, feeling too nervous to banter back, cleared her throat and sidestepped him to enter the back room. It was halfway between a pantry and a greenhouse; there were shelves and shelves stacked up the ceiling of potions ingredients. The sun was pouring into the room onto a few small plots of soil that had been made in large wooden crates.

On the back corner on the table were two large Venomous Tentacula plants. They looked deceivingly like normal plants, but they had large, eyeless mouths that were covered with leaves. Kayla knew from handling them at school that they needed thick, dragon-hide gloves to protect her hands from their deadly thorns. The seeds lay in the stems of the plant, and she'd have to cut it open once the Tentacula was asleep.

"I have half a mind to sell the seeds once we got them," Albus joked, tossing her the gloves. "We could just Stun them, right? I remembering using the Severing Charm at school."

"We get more seeds if they're asleep," Kayla explained, putting down the bag of Chizpurfles on a table. "They tend the retain more if they're Stunned, but if they're asleep, the seeds are very easy to peel off."

"You know a lot about something that's a tiny bit illegal," he commented slyly.

She busied herself in putting on the gloves because his gaze was making her heart beat a little too quickly. "My dad showed me while I was at school."

"Are you close to him, then?"

"We were closer while I was in school." She opened the bag of Chizpufles and grabbed a few. The rotting smell made her eyes water. "I don't get to see him much, since he's at Hogwarts most of the time."

"I get that," Al said, wrinkling his nose at the smell. "My dad's usually out of Auror missions. Mind you, I saw him last night at dinner and it wasn't exactly pleasant."

"Why not?"

"He wants to get me this position at the Ministry," he explained, folding his arms across his chest, "but I don't really fancy working for the government if I don't have to. He insists that he could get something higher paying."

"And you don't want that?"

"Not at all."

"Why's that?"

"I dunno…" He trailed off, his shoulders stiff as he shrugged. "I don't need my father to get me a job. Anyway, it's not like I have children or something. I make enough and I learn much more here."

"I don't learn much at Slug & Jiggers," Kayla shared.

He leaned in a little. "Can you keep a secret?"

"Sure."

"I'm not just working here," he said quietly. "I'm doing an apprenticeship. My boss didn't really want to take anyone on, but Professor Slughorn talked him into it when I was graduating. He's getting a little old, so he said he'd take me on so I could take over when he retired."

Kayla was amazed. "That's… _incredible_ , Al. Doesn't North Side Apothecary supply St. Mungo's and the Ministry? And your dad?"

"Yeah." He looked around. "So that's why I'm here, on a Sunday, working on all this. Some of these are so complicated that I have to watch them all night."

"You're really dedicated," she told him, feeling a little small. "I remember you were top of the class in Potions while we were at school, too."

"Thanks." He smiled warmly at her, and she felt a tiny rush of affection for him. "A lot of people don't really see it that way. I mean…" He suddenly reached for the back of his neck, looking away. "That's why my last girlfriend broke up with me."

"Oh yeah." She suddenly remembered Al the previous year, quiet and torn up for a few weeks. Kayla would never say anything, but Lily had commented on the dark circles under his eyes. Rose and Scorpius had gotten engaged at that time, as well.

"Anyway," he said, shrugging again and pulling on another pair of dragon-hide gloves. "What do we do, throw the bugs at them?"

Kayla looked back at the Venomous Tentaculas, rattling and shaking their leaves. Oddly, she felt a sense of calm wash over her when she went from thinking about heavy emotions to tackling a deadly magical plant. "We could do that."

They spent the next twenty minutes working on extracting seeds. Al fed the plants (very hesitantly) and collected the Chizpurfle carcases while Kayla would hold the sleeping mouths in a firm grip with one hand and make small incisions with a knife with the other hand. She hadn't felt so comfortable in a long time.

She found herself thinking back to the little plants she had growing on her windowsill. She hadn't experimented on them forever. There was a time when she would be so attached to the plants, waking up early in the morning to work on them even after she'd just studied until two in the morning for an exam.

That was at Hogwarts. Now, she barely did enough to keep the plants alive.

"You're a natural," Al said as she dumped about eighteen seeds into a small jar. She could hear a hint of admiration in his voice. "No wonder these are a Class C non-tradeable. I definitely couldn't have done that."

"There are easier ways," Kayla told him, trying not to show how flattered she felt. "We could have just severed it from a few different places. But dead Venomous Tentacula seeds aren't as powerful."

"Good point," he said, screwing the jar shut and pulling off his gloves. "I'll have to be careful with that when I'm adding them to the potion."

"Definitely."

"Do you want to see it?" he asked and she nodded. He led her into the other back room. There were wall-to-wall tables of cauldrons, most of them empty, besides three; one was simmering and smoking grey liquid, and Kayla recognized it immediately as Pepper-Up; another was an Antidote to Uncommon Poisons; the last was bright purple, and she didn't recognize it.

"It's a Memory Potion," he explained as they approached the cauldron. "It's a bit difficult, but we brew it every once in a while for the Magical Accidents wing at St. Mungo's. This is the first time he's let me brew it myself."

"Helps you remember things," Kayla said, nodding. "We don't brew that at Slug & Jiggers. We do brew the other two."

"We always have Pepper-Up brewing, everyone needs it. And the Antidote was just in case of a Venomous Tentacula accident." He paused as he put the rattling jar of seeds down next to the bubbling cauldron. She had the feeling as if he wanted to say something.

"I'm not going to tell anyone," she said softly.

"It's not that." He stepped a little closer and brushed her bangs away from her eyes. "I mean, Rose and Scorpius know about it. It's not a huge secret or anything."

"Sounds like it might be."

"It is for my boss." She felt his hand on her waist then, and while not unwelcome, their proximity was making rational thinking very difficult. He pulled her closer. "You're really cute when you're handling dangerous plants."

Before she could stop herself, she took a little step back and felt her butt hitting the edge of the table. Some of the empty cauldrons clanged backwards, and she squeaked in surprise.

He looked at her questioningly then. "Are you alright?"

"I'm not nervous," she said quickly, mentally slapping herself for being so obvious.

"You most definitely are." He wasn't flirting now as much as he was thinking. She could practically hear his brain whirring.

"I'm not."

"Come on, Kayla," he said gently. "You know that I'm never going to do something you're not comfortable with."

This was true; he was very good at reading her – a little too good. Even as her feet were edging backwards on reflex, there was a huge part of her that wanted to move much closer to him. There was a part of her that was transfixed on how nice he smelled and how close his lips actually were.

"I know," she said quietly, looking down at his shoulders. His very broad, very attractive shoulders. "It's just been a while since I've dated anyone."

"It's been a while for me too."

"It's been longer for me."

"Okay." He shrugged, moving back a step from her. She almost wanted to pull him back, but she didn't feel quite so bold. "That's fine."

"Are you sure?" she said, her voice feeling quite small.

"Yeah. It's a bit confusing and strange, but…" He trailed off, and she finally looked at him.

"It's _strange_?" she repeated, a little stung.

"It's a bit strange," he confirmed. "But it's okay. If it's really been that long, then I guess it makes sense." When she didn't say anything, he chuckled. "We've known each other forever, Kayla."

"Right," she said, turning away.

"Don't you think I actually care about you?" he asked softly. And when she looked back at him, she realized he was telling the truth. A little guiltily, maybe, but he was always honest.

Then it occurred to her that perhaps he didn't know her as well as she'd thought.

* * *

"Kayla!" Hugo had found Kayla where she was hiding, behind a menu and a plate of chips in the corner of a crowded Leaky Cauldron. He sat down across from her. "Kayla, last night I had dinner with Gemma, and she is _amazing._ "

She peeked up from behind the menu, interested. "Really?"

"Yes!" He said happily, stealing a chip off her plate. "She knows loads about Quidditch, she's also a fan of the Chudley Cannons and she is hot as hell."

She snorted. "That's all you need, isn't it?"

"Well, that and she fancies me as well," Hugo said smugly. "Are you going to put down that menu or what?"

"'Or what' sounds good to me."

"What's up?" he asked, snatching it from her and putting it onto the table. "Why are you eating dinner? Don't you have your date with Al tonight? He was going on about it last night."

"I didn't eat yet," she told him. "Last night?"

"Yeah, we went to this comedy show after dinner in muggle London," Hugo said, stealing another chip. "He kept saying that he was really looking forward to your dinner tonight. Which is Albus-speak for he wants to shag you."

Kayla groaned and buried her face in her hands. "I'm not going."

"What?"

"I can't go to this dinner. Date. Whatever it is."

"Why not?" He asked, poking her arm. "I saw you two yesterday. He was so into you, I was surprised Lily didn't notice."

"I –"

"And don't even pretend like you weren't making googly eyes at him."

She sighed. "I know, I know. I'm not used to this."

"I know, but you have to go," he argued, poking her again. She put her hands down to look at him. "I think he actually fancies you. You can't stand him up because you're scared."

"I was going to owl him."

"That's still pretty bad," Hugo told her, and she looked determinedly. "Look, you have to put yourself out there. Just because your last few dates weren't great doesn't mean you should put off dating. One day we'll all be married off, and you'll be alone."

"Gee, that makes me feel loads better." She could feel a lump in her throat but she pushed it down.

"It's what I do."

"I was being sarcastic."

"I know."

She went quiet for a moment, taking in the idle chatter and clanging utensils against plates. It wasn't as though Kayla particularly _liked_ being single, but it wasn't as much her decision for happiness as it was a choice of safety.

"The last two guys – the _only_ two I've ever dated – cheated on me," she mumbled, so quietly she wasn't sure Hugo could even hear her. "Al's just going to be bored of me."

" _What_?"

"You know." She threw him a look. "Albus isn't like me at all. He's dated more. He's confident. He's ambitious. He doesn't just sit around and wait for things to happen – he goes ahead and does it."

Hugo sat back, the smug smile spreading across his face again. "Merlin, you really fancy him, don't you?"

"Shut up," she retorted, her face flushing deeply. "I just mean that I'm not nearly as interesting as him. All I do is go to work and write stupid emotional poetry."

"Hey," Hugo said indignantly, throwing a chip at her. It hit her in the nose. "It's not stupid!"

"You've never even read it!"

"Look," he said, leaning forward and putting his bony elbows on the table. "This is what I'm saying when I tell you to do the open mic. And why you should date Al. And also why you should quit your job."

 _"Quit my job_?" Kayla said in horror.

"Yes! And write that book you wanted to write, and study with that magical herbs author you're always going on about."

"Hugo –"

"Why is it so hard for you to believe that there's a lot more to life than sitting in a pub every night?"

Kayla eyes were welling up. She stared down at the table determinedly, staring at a particular scratch. "It's not. I'm just – I'm not really that kind of person, Hugo."

"Why do you think that?" he asked wearily, getting up and stepping over to sit beside her in the booth. "You wanted all that stuff in school. And then suddenly you bailed on that graduation trip with Lily to Paris and holed up here."

"I know."

Hugo put an arm around her and handed her a napkin. "Was it Daniel Finch-Fletchy? I know he was really horrible to you at the end of your break up."

"Maybe." She was still staring at the scratch on the table. "He just made me realize that all those things aren't that important. It's not as though any of those things make money or support me."

"Well." Hugo seemed at a loss. "I just don't really understand what's so great about going to work every day at a job you don't like."

"I don't mind it."

"Kayla," he said quietly as she dabbed her eyes, "you're a great friend. You're so kind and funny and you bake some mean brownies. Lily and I love you. We're always going to be there for you. But don't you also get to fall in love and do interesting things?"

"Why?" she asked, voice trembling. "I'm just… I'm too quiet and shy. I'm not the kind of person who can do those things."

Hugo sighed. "Well, Al was like that, remember?" Kayla looked at him questioningly. "He was super quiet when we were younger. His brother James was always the loud one, he always felt overshadowed by him. But in school he ended up playing Quidditch, he got that award for Potions after working all those years…" He shrugged. "Al didn't just magically become the way he is."

Kayla chewed her lip. "I didn't remember that."

"Well, he is my cousin. I wouldn't have remembered either, otherwise." Hugo ate another chip before dusting off his legs and getting up. "Kayla, do I need to drag you to his place or are you going?"

She chuckled and wiped her eyes again. "Yeah. Okay, I'm going."

"Make sure to shower first, you look horrible."

She chucked another chip at him and he caught it, grinning. "Thanks, Hugo."

He waved a hand at her, chuckling. "I'm going to check on Lily now. Want to come up with me?"

"Sure."

Ten minutes later, as Kayla was showering and slowly getting ready for her date, she did feel a little better, knowing a little more about Al. She was realizing that maybe her anxiety about him was a bit silly, even if she couldn't control it. He'd never been anything but kind to her. He expressed his own admiration just that afternoon.

Maybe it was just that she didn't know him that well, either.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

The last time Kayla had been to Al's flat, he'd been living with Rose and Scorpius.

Rose loved to throw parties every now and then. She invited practically everyone she knew from Hogwarts and work, bought endless amounts of booze and turned up the music after casting some silencing charms around the apartment. Her parties were always fun, and Kayla could only vaguely remember those nights.

However, since Rose and Scorpius got engaged, Al had moved out into a one bedroom flat on the far side of Diagon Alley. The area around it was a bit quiet, but the flat itself was quite nice. He had shiny wooden floors, a small balcony and his living room was overflowing with books.

"Sorry," he apologized hastily as she'd stepped inside and realized there was nowhere to sit in his living room. He waved his wand and a bunch of books stacked on his couch moved to the ground beside his bursting bookcase. "I cleaned up, but sometimes I forget that it's not just the floors that need to be cleaned."

He looked so anxious that Kayla had to smile.

"It's nice," she reassured him, sitting down on the now-empty loveseat and looking around. "I like being surrounded by books, so this is actually comforting."

"That's good," he said, chuckling. "Wine?"

"Please."

As he'd busied himself in the kitchen, Kayla looked out his balcony window, which was across the room from of the couch. He had a nice view of muggle London and could see King's Cross Station if she really squinted. She sat back down as he came back with two wine glasses and set them down on the coffee table in front of her.

"I like your view," she said quietly as he sat down beside her. The sun was setting and beaming through the windows.

"Thank you," he replied, handing her the glass. "The food is still cooking, but I have bread if you're hungry?"

"I'm fine." She sat back and tried to relax. "When did you move here?"

"In November," he said, glancing around. "I mean, it's a bit small, but I like it. And I definitely couldn't keep living with Rose and Scorpius."

"I guess thing change after engagement," Kayla said. He nodded.

There was an awkward pause as they sipped their wine, searching for words. Normally, she would talk about Quidditch or something if they were out with friends, but she didn't feel like really bringing that up on a date.

Merlin, maybe it _had_ been way too long.

"Okay," Al said, turning to her in his seat and looking at her properly. "This is a bit weird."

"Yeah," Kayla agreed, chuckling. "Maybe we should do something."

"Sure, but dinner's not ready yet."

"Let's play a game," she said, shifting so she was sitting on one leg and facing him. "We each ask a question, but it has to be one we both can answer."

"Okay," he said, grinning. "Can I go first?"

"Sure."

"When's the last time you've been on a date? Before Kevin."

She narrowed her eyes at him. They were meant to start simply, like favourite colours and their best childhood memory. She felt a bit as though she'd been thrown off the deep end.

"So Kevin was seven months ago," she recounted. "Like four dates then. And then… well…"

"Just spit it out."

"It was in Hogwarts," she admitted, speaking so fast she may have blended the words together. She took a long sip of wine. "Now you answer."

"Oh." She peeked a look at him, and he was visibly shocked. He shook his head and scratched the back of his head. "Right. Erm, it was a few weeks ago. I think I told you about that girl I went on a coffee date with?"

"She asked to be exclusive right after?" Kayla supplied.

"Yeah, that one." He let out a breath, looking bewildered. "Six years? Were you this hesitant with Macmillan, too?"

She raised an eyebrow at him, cheeks reddening. "Don't think you can answer that one," she said, referring to their game.

"Fine, fine." He leant back, tilting his head. "You ask one."

"Okay." Her mind was reeling. If he was ready to get personal, she wanted something good. "What is your deal breaker trait in a significant other?"

He smirked at her and then stared into his glass, swishing his wine around. "Well, she has to be into reading."

"Reading?" she repeated, surprised. "I would have thought Potions?"

"Well, that'd be nice, but it's not a deal breaker," he explained. "She doesn't have to be interested in my work. But I don't think I could date a girl who doesn't understand why I read all the time. Even if we read something else entirely."

She tipped her glass towards him. "Makes sense. I don't think mine would be a trait he has to have."

"Hmm?"

"Yeah. I could probably deal if he doesn't read. Or if he doesn't like Herbology." She paused. "He just can't be mean."

He burst out laughing. "You are such a Hufflepuff."

"Guilty," she said, grinning. She was really starting to feel relaxed, even though he was fully using the game to his advantage. But so could she. "Your turn."

"Good." He was tapping the side of his glass gently. "Have you ever been interested in Hugo?"

"You can't answer that," she accused, laughing.

"I sure can," he said, poking her knee. "I haven't been. Have you?"

"No."

"Really?" he asked, looking at her closely. She could tell he was much more interested in this answer than his first question. "You guys are just…"

She sighed. She'd answered the question more times than she knew and was fully tired of trying to convince people otherwise. "No. Never have. He is like my annoying little brother."

Al looked uneasy.

"Or my older brother, take your pick," she added.

"Okay…" he said slowly. Then he shrugged. "Okay. Got it."

"You believe me?"

"Why would you lie to me?" he asked, his expression softening. "Your question."

"Umm…"

"And while you're thinking, I'm bringing out our food," he said, jumping up from his seat.

"Do you need help?" she called.

"Nope!"

Kayla spent her time thinking as a checker tablecloth, bread rolls, a butter dish, plates, bowls and, dangerously, some utensils floated over to the coffee table in front of her. As a bottle of wine had settled down, Al came in with a pot of steaming stew and set it down manually.

"I did not want that spilling accidentally," he explained, dipping a ladle inside. He began to serve them both, pouring a generous amount of stew into their bowls.

"I thought of my question," she told him as he sat down.

"What is it?"

"Have you ever been in love?"

A smile spread across his features as he began to spread butter on his bread. "Of course."

"Of course?" she repeated, brows furrowed. "Lots of people have never been in love. Hugo, for example. Though I suppose Lily's been in love many times."

"I'm more like my sister, then," he said, shrugging. "I dunno. I've dated some girls I didn't like that much and they didn't last. After a while, I didn't bother."

"Ah." She was realizing she didn't actually know his dating history very well. Was it normal to feel apprehensive about that?

Well hopefully, as he kept asking her about her relationship history as well.

"And you?" he asked.

She hesitated. "Erm. Yes. Sure."

"You don't sound very sure," he teased.

"I suppose I was at the time," she contemplated as she began to butter her own bread roll. "It didn't feel like love, looking back at it now."

Al stayed quiet about the matter, and she was infinitely thankful for that.

"I'm not much of a cook," he said, gesturing to the food. "This is the probably the best thing I can make, besides chopping salad."

"It's honestly wonderful, Al," she said immediately. She hadn't actually tasted anything yet, but she definitely didn't want to seem ungrateful. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." His ears were red again, and he took the lull in their conversation as opportunity to refill their wine glasses. "Do you cook?"

"Is that one of your questions?"

"Sure," he decided.

"Yes," she told him, stirring the stew with her spoon. "But nothing fancy. Mostly fish and chicken and rice. Maybe some pasta or something."

"You mostly bake."

"Yeah." She tasted the stew and it was nothing like her own cooking at all. But it was very good. "I like it."

"Really?" he asked, looking extremely pleased.

Teasing him, she took another spoonful in front of him and pretended to taste again. She moved her head back and forth. "Hmm. Well."

"Shut up," he said, nudging her shoulders with his. "Looks like it's your turn again."

"Yes…" She was thinking as she ate, but it was very difficult; he was much closer now that they were eating, facing the table. His knee was pressed against hers and suddenly it was becoming much more _real_. She was actually on a date with someone she really fancied. Or at least, she was pretty sure she fancied.

"Have you ever hooked up with someone?" she blurted out. Al was in the middle of chewing and he froze; for the first time, she thought he might lie to her.

But he didn't. He swallowed and ran hand through his hair nervously. "Erm. Yeah, I have. Once or twice."

"Oh."

"Are you…" he asked, struggling for words, "you know. Okay with that?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" she found herself saying. Which was close enough to the truth. The whole truth would be that she was gladly fine with people shagging consensually, as long as they weren't in goddamn relationships with other people.

It was a bit strange to say out loud, though.

"What about you?" he asked, breaking her out of her thoughts.

"What? Oh, no, I haven't," she said dismissively, digging into her food again. Internally, she wanted to laugh; whenever she was even slightly interested in someone, she needed a little alcohol in her not to clam up entirely in front of him. She supposed Al was different, however, since they'd known each other since they were young.

When she looked at him then, he was watching her expectantly. She realized he'd said something while in her thoughts. "Sorry, what was that?"

"Have you… you know." He cleared his throat. "Done it. Went all the way."

"Ohh…" She was suddenly blushing, and he was staring at her. And he was much too close. "Yeah."

"Recently?"

"No…?"

He shrugged, looking back at his food. "It just explains a lot."

"It does?"

"I don't mind going slow with you," he said quietly, taking her hand. "If that's what you want."

Relief was washing over her at his words. Without realizing the weight was there, probably from all the other times she had considered dating, she felt it lifted off her shoulders. There was a certain warmth blooming inside her, and she swore she could feel it down to her toes.

"I'd really like that," she said softly, unable to look at him properly.

He smiled at her, and without warning, he quickly straightened up and brushed his lips gently against her cheek. The spot was burning where he'd kissed her, and she fought the urge to touch it.

"Anyway," he said, probably not realizing how fast her heart was beating, "I have another question."

"You skipped my question," she said, finishing the last of her stew in the bowl.

"I know," he said, grinning at her. "My question is better."

"Is it, now?"

"Yes!" he insisted. She giggled and he nudged her with his shoulder again. "What wouldn't you do for your closest friends?"

Kayla had to pause for that. "What I _wouldn't_ I do?"

"Yeah."

"You mean, besides their laundry?"

Al laughed. "Yeah."

"Hmm." Kayla had to really think through that one. She cared about Lily and Hugo more than anything. "I guess... I wouldn't do things they really needed to do for themselves. Like breaking up with someone, or writing an exam."

He nodded. "That's fair. I think it'd be the same for me."

"Really?"

"I mean, maybe I'd draw the line somewhere if we weren't very close."

"Agreed." Kayla felt very light. Maybe happy. "I think it's my turn?"

"Lay it on me," he said, leaning back in his seat and sipping his wine.

Before they realized it, nearly three hours had passed as they went back and forth, getting to know each other in a way they hadn't ever before. As they traded memories and stories, Kayla was very thankful she decided to go on this date. Perhaps she was just so hesitant because her last attempts at dating had been so abysmal, but taking the leap was very freeing. She could tell she wouldn't regret dating Al, even if she did get hurt.

Eventually they'd decided to go for a walk in Diagon Alley. It was dark, dimly lit by moonlight and shop lights, but a warm night for spring. She felt very content, walking hand-in-hand with Al and just talking to him. They ended up in front of Slug & Jiggers at some point, and Al noticed her lingering stare.

"Do you like working there?" he asked, gesturing to the colourful storefront with a jerk of his head. "It looks a bit cheesy."

"I'm a bit cheesy," she joked, pulling them along their walk.

"Sure," he said, laughing. "But do you like it?"

"Yes…" She took a second to think. "I like going in and sorting through all the ingredients. I get to tend the plants we have, so I like that. A lot of people like that I can answer their questions about magical herbs they buy."

"Mhmm." He seemed to contemplate this. "Sounds like a good job, then."

"It pays the bills."

"Ah ha!" he exclaimed, rounding on her. Kayla stopped in her tracks. "That's what people say when they wish they could quit."

"Oh, Merlin," she groaned, looking at the cobblestone path below her. "Hugo said the same shit earlier. I am not quitting my job, I _like_ it."

"I didn't say you should quit, I said you _wish_ you could quit."

"And do what?"

"Well that's up to you, isn't it?" he said, taking her hand and stepping closer. "You're amazing with Herbology. Is that what you'd like doing?"

"I'm already doing it, Al," she said impatiently. "I'm a Magical Herbs Specialist and I grow plants. I sell them. I add them into potions. I have them on my windowsill."

"You do?"

"I just don't see why I'd have to quit my job to do more Herbology," she muttered. She sidestepped him, trying to continue their walk, but he stepped in front of her again.

"I'm just wondering," he explained, moving a strand of hair behind her ear. "I stand corrected. It seems like you like your job."

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"It's just usually a bad sign, if you do a job to pay your bills."

"Why is that?" she burst out. She took a deep breath and tried to continue calmly. "I would probably just keep expanding my knowledge in Herbology, and I can do that at my job that pays decently. I have time for myself and my friends and family."

"I –"

"Things are simple, and I _like_ it that way."

"I'm sorry," he said gently, tugging on her hand. "I didn't know it was a sensitive topic. Sometimes I'm bad at knowing when to stop."

Kayla looked down at her shoes. "I'm sorry too. Hugo has been bugging me about this all weekend."

"Why?"

"He thinks I'm unhappy."

"Well, are you?"

"No."

"Good," he said, pulling her hand so they were walking again. "Maybe we subscribe too much to the idea that there's always something better out there."

"That might be true," she admitted. "I've been thinking about it a lot lately. There's a lot of stuff I've put on the back burner, and maybe I could go back to it. But I don't want everything to change."

"Sounds like your problem isn't your job," he said lightly, "just change."

"Maybe…" She trailed off, lost in thought.

Because even while she liked her job and her daily life made her happy, there was definitely a dissatisfaction creeping in somewhere. She found herself wondering whether it would eventually disappear, or even grow into something bigger.

"I have a question," Al said, breaking her out of her thoughts. "For the game," he added, when she gave him a questioning look.

"Okay."

"Why did you break up with the last boyfriend?"

"In Hogwarts, you mean?" she asked, and he nodded. "Erm, he cheated on me."

"He cheated on you," he repeated.

"Yup," she said, popping the 'p'.

"On _you._ "

"It wasn't on the other girl."

"But…" he spluttered in disbelief. "You're so _nice_! I never heard even heard about it."

"Oh, it was all over school," she confirmed, shrugging. "But it was in my seventh year. You had graduated."

Al was speechless for a moment, and she didn't really know how to respond. She wasn't really sure why he was so surprised. People cheated in relationships all the time, and it wasn't as though he hadn't comforted Lily when she'd been cheated on.

"So how did your last relationship end?" she asked awkwardly. She figured she'd continue the pattern of their game, though.

"Oh," he said, coming out of his thoughts. "Right. We weren't happy for a while, she hated that I'd go off work for long hours and overnight, she didn't like Rose and Scorpius much…" He trailed off, glancing at Kayla. "Ultimately, she wanted to get married immediately. After all the fighting, I wasn't sure I wanted that."

"So she ended up breaking up with you because you didn't want to get married?"

"Yeah." He blew out some air through his lips. "Glad I dodged it, though."

"Looking back."

"Looking back, yeah." He looked to her and squeezed her hand. "We're almost at your place."

"Yeah, I guess I should get to sleep," she said, actually feeling a little sad that their date was coming to an end. "I have work in the morning."

"Me too." He stopped at brick walls near the Leaky Cauldron, close to the door. "One last question?"

"Last one," she echoed, looking up at him. He was waiting expectantly for her, and she finally voiced what she'd wanted to ask all night. "Why did you ask me out?"

"That's obvious," he said, chuckling. "I fancy you."

"Why?" she asked. She was surprised to hear the strength in her voice, as her legs felt a little wobbly.

He folded his arms and leaned against the brick wall, watching her, considering her. "At first it wasn't really obvious. I thought you were pretty." He moved a little closer, speaking a little more quietly. "You've always been pretty."

She swallowed, feeling like her throbbing heart was stuck in her throat. "But?"

"But nothing," he said, raising an eyebrow. "I suppose it was the other night, when you were taking care of Lily. You're always looking out for your friends, even when they're not doing the same for you. Not everyone does that." He leaned and kissed her cheek softly. "You're very sweet."

She hadn't been expecting him to say that. Not at all.

Not for the first time that night, Kayla was absolutely speechless.

"Good night," he said, slowly moving backwards. "I'll see you soon. There's a Quidditch game next weekend, Hugo and I were going to see it at The Black Rose."

She cleared her throat, still feeling as though she'd been knocked over her head. "I haven't answered for you, yet."

"The next date?" he suggested, stuffing his hands in his pockets and smiling at her. She nodded and he nodded back. Then he was off, she was climbing up the stairs to her apartment and their first date was officially over.

She didn't think it was love, not yet – attraction, definitely. She felt respect for him, a lot more than she thought she would. Her cheeks felt warm even as she climbed into bed that night. She thought of him and his wild hair and his sincerity and his smile, and it was awhile before she could fall asleep.

Whatever the feeling was, she hadn't felt in a long time.

But it wasn't half bad.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

There was a lingering feeling following Kayla throughout her next days. It rose from the pit of her stomach and tangled in her lungs, squeezing and pulling mercilessly. It was a hazy agitation in her mind and kept her up at night. It was so bad, she would have to take breaks at work, get outside and take a few deep breaths.

Panic. Confusion. Restlessness.

Something in her felt unsettled.

And seeing as Kayla had a very busy and overwhelming weekend, she mostly attributed all these _feelings_ to that. She tried her best to go about her days, trying to tell herself it was all going to go back to normal, but she couldn't shake it off. She didn't want to see anyone, not even Lily or Hugo, and definitely not Al. It was as though she was a bit trapped in a haze.

By Wednesday night, she was exhausted from not sleeping at night and working full shifts during the day.

Kayla was swallowing down her meagre dinner and trying to ignore her painful stomach when Lily and Hugo entered the flat that Wednesday night. Her first clue that something was off was that they weren't speaking at all – something very rare between Lily and Hugo, as they were always arguing about something or another.

Her second clue was when they marched straight into the kitchen together. Hugo regularly raided their kitchen, but Lily rarely ever felt hungry enough to ignore her and head straight to the kitchen. Still, Kayla figured they were probably hungry – it _was_ dinnertime.

Her third clue was whispers coming from the kitchen as soon as they'd reached there. Kayla was not in full hearing range, of course, as she was seated in the living room, but she could still vaguely hear their arguing through heated whispers.

Sadly, she was too sleepy to catch onto any clues, not until they were standing in front of her a few minutes later, a mug of tea in hand.

"Kayla," Lily said, putting the steaming tea down on the coffee table in front of her. "We've noticed you've been a little down lately. We're worried about you."

She stared up at her two best friends; she was startled they'd noticed anything at all.

"You haven't been down at The Leaky Cauldron for three days," Hugo explained gently, sitting down beside her. Lily took the seat on Kayla's other side and put a hand on her shoulder.

"You've barely been eating," Lily said, gesturing to Kayla's half-eaten sandwich she was having difficulty finishing. "I think I heard you vomiting last night."

Kayla's cheeks reddened immediately. "I thought you were asleep."

"What's wrong?" Hugo asked, looking nervous. "I think we upset you this weekend and you're avoiding us."

"What – no, of course not!" Kayla sputtered. Which was true. She knew she'd been quiet lately, but she would never avoid her best friends.

On purpose, anyway.

"Is it about Kevin?" Lily asked worriedly, chewing her lip and tightening her grip on Kayla's shoulder. "I was honestly so stupid to date him after knowing how you felt."

Kayla had a strange feeling then, as if she wanted to shake Lily off and actually talk to her about it – maybe even become upset with her. But it was six months too late to tell her how she really felt, and she didn't really see the use in upsetting Lily so soon after a break up. Especially when she didn't have feelings for Kevin, and so clearly had feelings for Lily's older brother.

"It's not about Kevin," Kayla reassured her, but shrugged off Lily's hand anyway. Just then, an owl tapped at the living room window.

"That's the ministry owl," Lily said, sounding annoyed as she let the owl in. She looked back apologetically at Kayla and Hugo. "I'll just be a second to reply this, okay?"

As Lily hurried into her room to scribble back a reply, Hugo nudged Kayla and lowered his voice. "Al's been asking about you. He's worried he scared you off."

"He didn't," she said tiredly, putting her socked feet up on the couch and hugging her knees to her chest. "I really like him. I've just been sick these past few days."

"I think you should talk to him."

"I will," she said in a small voice. "I think I've been feeling very unsettled about everything that happened this weekend."

"Did he…" Hugo hesitated. "Did he do anything?"

"No, of course not." She rested her chin on her knees, feeling a little breathless again. She focused on one spot in front of her, which usually helped. "He's been wonderful. This has nothing to do with him."

"Maybe it's why you almost cancelled your date with Al?" he suggested.

She inhaled and exhaled deeply before replying. "Maybe."

"Was it…" Hugo was struggling for words, sounding guiltier as he spoke. "Was it me? Did I push you too much?"

"I dunno." The owl was hooting softly on the windowsill.

"Are you angry with me?"

Kayla shook her head, wishing she could curl up and sleep. "I'm not. I promise."

Lily came back into the room, rolling up her parchment and her fingers were smudged from writing quickly. "I'm so sorry, Kayla, I hate when they do this…" She tied the parchment quickly to the owl's leg and it flew out the open window.

"I know what happened," Hugo said painfully, speaking to Lily. "It was me. I was being a dick."

"You're not a dick," Kayla said, a little too loudly. Lily sat down again and Kayla was still staring in one spot. "I'm not upset with anyone. I've been sick."

"Well…" Lily was struggling for words, now. "You haven't been sleeping. And you're barely eating. And you don't want to talk at all."

Kayla felt like walls were closing in on her. She'd never been particularly claustrophobic, but suddenly, she felt trapped and couldn't breathe. She didn't want to be in this conversation, because she really had to face what she was avoiding thinking about for the past six years.

"Kayla," Lily said softly. She felt hands – Lily's – taking gentle hold of her own hands. She suddenly realized she'd been digging her nails into her knees. She was shaking a little.

"Breathe," Hugo whispered. His voice felt far away.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this," Kayla heard herself saying. Everything felt out of body and she was far away, floating and about to fall. She knew she was gripping Lily's hands too tightly, but she couldn't stop. "It wasn't supposed to be like this."

Hugo and Lily exchanged glances. "Like what?" Hugo asked.

"Like _this._ " A lump had formed in her throat as she broke her gaze from the one spot and looked around. The walls weren't closing in anymore, but every inch of her flat felt like the enemy. "I didn't want to be in my parents' old flat. I didn't want to be single and alone. I didn't want to work at Slug & Jiggers."

"You could always quit," Lily suggested reluctantly.

"But I like it now!" Kayla told them, trying to swallow. "I like my job and I like my life, but bloody hell, but it so _boring._ "

She wasn't sure the last time Hugo and Lily had seen her like this. It must have been at Hogwarts, though the years were blurry. She was normally so good at controlling her emotions, and she never wanted to burden her friends with anything.

"I didn't want to stop growing my plants," she whispered, thinking of the sad tiny plants sitting lonely on her windowsill. "I love them. And I wanted to study so much more _._ And I wanted –" She looked at Lily properly, suddenly feeling so immensely guilty that tears welled up in her eyes. "I wanted to go to Paris with you."

Lily had been shattered when Kayla broke their plans to travel after school ended, but ultimately, had been understanding of what she was going through. Lily's hands squeezed Kayla's tightly in understanding. "I know. So did I."

She looked to Hugo. "And then, I guess when you started this whole 'change my life' thing, it triggered something. It made me realize how scared I am all the time."

He looked very sad. "I know. I've been wanting you to realize it for years, but…" He shrugged. "I thought you needed time. And then too much time passed by."

Kayla wiped a few stray tears. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to worry you."

"We're here for you," Lily said quietly before wrapping her arms around Kayla's shoulders. Hugo joined in, hugging her from the other side. "We don't want you to feel like you have to deal with this alone."

"I'm just being stupid."

"You're not," Hugo said, his voice muffled in her shoulder. "We're going to go to the open mic with you this Friday."

"I'm not going to perform."

"You don't have to," he assured her. "We can just watch it together."

"And tonight, we're going to help you bring home some plants and that dragon dung fertilizer you love so much," Lily declared, kissing the top of her head. Hugo groaned and Kayla and Lily began to laugh, causing shaking between their prolonged group hug.

"We are going to take you to that Herbology Warehouse," Hugo said as they dissembled their hug. "I hope you realize how big a sacrifice this is."

"I know," Kayla said, still smiling as she wiped her eyes.

"That place literally smells like Macmillan's armpit."

Lily smacked Hugo in the arm, and they all were laughing again.

They'd been friends for so many years, and somehow, Kayla managed to forget how much her friends cared about her. Perhaps she felt things had changed when they'd all begun to hang around with Rose, Scorpius and Al. Perhaps she felt that she was entering adulthood, and she needed to deal with things headstrong and on her own.

But maybe she was wrong. Maybe things hadn't needed to change that much after all.

That night, Kayla slept like the dead.

* * *

The unsettledness was slowly untwisting itself, though not entirely.

Together, Kayla, Lily and Hugo had dragged a couple of plants and supplies back to Kayla's room. They shoved her bed and dresser to the side of the room to set up planters in front of her window. It was so long since she'd properly worked on growing plants, she felt that planting the seeds was almost foreign.

Hugo and Lily, proving themselves as Best Friends Ever, went to the bookshop without Kayla on Thursday and bought her a surprise gift: _Winogrand's Wondrous Water Plants._ She drooled over this Herbology book that her father owned and thumbed through his copy, but never read it in full. It was quite expensive, so she knew they'd really been thoughtful in their purchase.

They'd also bought her a new notebook, as Lily noticed Kayla's old notebook was nearly falling apart. Her friends seemed very determined that she continued writing, as they'd seen her dissolve into the pages before, and Kayla was grateful. The notebook was bound in beautiful brown leather.

Early Friday morning at work, she was writing poem couplets when she heard the door open. The bell jingled and she looked up to see Al, holding two cups of coffees from Rosa Lee Teabag.

"Hello," she greeted, feeling a strong sense of déjà vu. Unlike the last time Albus had brought her coffee, his expression was carefully controlled as he came up to the counter.

"Hi," he greeted, putting their coffees down in front of her. "It's nice to see you."

She bit her lip. He was being so polite, but she much rather Al be his normal, cheery self. "I wanted to owl you. I was sick, and then it felt too late –"

"It's okay," he interrupted, leaning his elbows down at the counter. "Hugo told me you were having a very difficult week."

Kayla struggled; this was why she didn't contact Al in the first place. Everything about the romantic side of their relationship was too new to bother with complicated issues. "I'm so sorry."

He paused, clearly thinking. "I want you to answer the last question from our date."

"I asked you why you asked me out," she recounted slowly.

"Right." He gave her a small smile. "So why did you say yes?"

She was really hoping she wouldn't have to answer that.

And was very thankful she was working alone that day and Kevin or Mr. Jiggers couldn't overhear.

"I just thought you were sincere," she stammered, feeling hot in her cheeks. "I mean, I could say you're fit and that would be true, but I just thought we got along. You're so patient, even when you don't have to be." She was rambling and feeling embarrassed with every word she spoke. "I guess I just – I thought I fancied you. And I wanted to make sure."

"And did you?" he asked teasingly, but his eyes were serious.

"Yes," she said. Her voice sounded much stronger than she felt.

He sighed. "I was really worried I did something wrong this week. Normally, if you don't talk to each other for five full days after the first date, that's not a good sign."

Kayla looked away, feeling like she wanted to sink into the ground. "I'm sorry, Al."

"But Hugo told me you couldn't sleep or eat or anything," he continued, taking her hand. "I want to be understanding, okay? You just have to tell me. An owl. _Something_."

She watched his hand holding hers. His hands were bigger than hers, a little bonier and felt incredibly warm, despite the cool rainy weather outside. His fingers weaved through hers and held tightly.

"You don't have to talk to me about those things," he added, avoiding her eyes. "I know this is all new for us. But I am hoping you'd eventually want to."

"I don't think I have to tell you this is odd for me," she said quietly. "My last relationship wasn't based on anything remotely solid. He didn't want to hear about anything I cared about."

He shrugged, looking at their entwined hands. "I care."

Kayla thought it was so strange that after the years they'd known each other, she still knew so little about him. She didn't know his favourite colour or his favourite book. She didn't know how he could care about her when they didn't know what this was besides one first date.

And still, he was standing in front of her, asking for ' _something'_.

Kayla then remembered about what Lily said about her – Kayla _gave_ , didn't take. She wasn't sure if she was taking from Al, but maybe she needed to give. Just the way she did with Lily or Hugo.

After realizing this, she didn't have to think very long. She crossed the counter to the front and threw her arms around him. He stumbled back a step in surprise, but wrapped his arms around her immediately, holding her close.

"Things have been really confusing lately," she whispered against his chest.

"I know."

"Nothing in my head is making sense." He held her a little tighter, and she couldn't help feeling so warm inside. Something uncoiling. "I think you just have bad timing."

Al chuckled and released their hug to look at her properly. "You mean 'we', don't you?"

"We," she repeated in agreement. He smiled at her, and she knew he'd forgiven her.

And before she knew it, she was telling him about the new plants she'd gotten and their different properties. She knew he was probably only listened with half interest, but there was something inside her that was urging her to let him in. He seemed extremely pleased as she went on, even if he didn't say much.

She really hoped she was going in the right direction this time.

* * *

Her new journal felt a bit like Kayla's safety blanket that night. Hugo and Lily, true to their word, met her at Rosa Lee Teabag for the open mic and joined her table when signup was nearly over. Lily chuckled when she saw her with her notebook, not writing but just holding it protectively.

"Just relax," she said, rolling her eyes. "We're not making you go up there."

"Yet," Hugo added.

"Shut up," Kayla whispered, hugging her notebook to her chest. She felt like a pubescent teenager again, she was so nervous. At least when she was at the open mic the previous week, they didn't have to see her panicking.

"It's not a very big stage," Lily commented, but it didn't make Kayla feel any better.

"Maybe you could make notes," Hugo suggested cautiously, pushing her notebook down onto the table. "I dunno what you'd write about, but I'm sure there would be some poetry you'd like at this thing."

Kayla stopped to think at this. She hadn't really thought of the actual poetry being performed – just that she really hated the idea of going up on stage. She leaned forward in her chair, suddenly intrigued.

The crowd she'd seen the week before was mostly the same, give or take a few wizards and witches. The guest speaker was someone different, and Kayla didn't recognize her. She had long black hair with grey streaks and wore leather boots up to her knees. She sat to the side of the stage, chatting with the same blonde-haired emcee she'd seen before.

She could see Lily and Hugo stifling yawns as the show began, but Kayla was captivated. One man who must have been around her age went first. He was dressed in a long, black trench coat and his long bangs hid his face as he recited his poem. It was about his longing for a relationship with his younger sibling, who he'd never been allowed to meet thanks to terrible family relations.

Many poets stood out to her: an old man and his recount of life; a young girl who definitely just graduated Hogwarts, speaking about rape; a woman who told them all how she was a Squib and loved her life.

The crowd was supportive, like a large, unknown family. Like the world outside was cruel and unforgiving but in that space, in that moment, she felt the empathy.

Kayla could never imagine what it would be like to step in front a large crowd and announce her innermost thoughts to them like that. She'd had such a hard doing so with Al, and she'd known him since they were young kids. To share her secrets in a spotlight – it was unthinkable.

And yet, all these poets were doing it.

Suddenly, every individual who went up there seemed brave beyond measure. The ones with trembling hands, the ones with tears in their eyes, the ones who were clearly a little inebriated, the ones who stood at the microphone and literally swallowed the fear in their throats, and spoke.

Kayla wanted to be brave.

She'd never wanted anything so badly before.

The guest poet – her name was Emma Nightingale – went last, performing her own, professionally published poetry. She was, of course, the best speaker by far. Each gesture and word seemed perfectly timed in her exact intention.

Kayla was captured by her last poem. Emma Nightingale took a moment before performing – closing her eyes, a deep breath that seemed to fill the room – and the pause instilled her interest. Her words felt directly spoken to Kayla, even if she knew that was absolutely ridiculous, she felt it wrap around her heart and tug.

The poem was about the sacrifices Emma Nightingale had made. She had left her life at home, feeling stifled and exhausted, and ventured out. She felt thirsty for something she'd never had and didn't know what it was. Yet, she went to the unknown, thinking she was searching for herself.

Ultimately, she'd realized she was craving for maturity. She decided to help herself develop in the best way possible: to do the things that scared her most.

Kayla had been scratching notes all night – a line she loved here and there, thematic ideas she thought she'd try – but she'd been too awestruck to write anything about this particular poem. She didn't think she could ever forget it, anyway.

When the lights came up, Hugo and Lily immediately got up, stretching their legs. Kayla felt as though she was in a trance. Her friends could tell something was different, as they frowned at her when she didn't stand up. Hugo waved a hand in front of Kayla's face, and she wrinkled her nose.

Lily was more sympathetic. "Are you okay?" she asked worriedly.

"I'm fine," she said, blinking a few times to feel normal. And oddly, she felt more normal and calm than she had in a while.

She looked up at Lily. "Can you teach me how to fly?"

" _What_?" Hugo exclaimed, flabbergasted. Lily looked equally surprised, but recovered quickly and launched herself at Kayla in an excited hug. And then they were giggling together as Lily started talking about different brooms and techniques.

Hugo, however, was still staring at Kayla as though she'd lost her mind.

And she knew why; he'd tried to teach her to fly more times than they could count, but she'd never been able to get a broom two feet off the ground. He'd been witness to more than several flying-induced panic attacks. He was staring at her in guilt and worry.

Something inside _did_ feel changed _._ The unsettled feeling was still there, but it didn't feel heavy and angry anymore. She felt free and determined, but so far away from what she wanted.

The twisted tangling inside her felt like charged, white-hot wires.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Inspiration was enough to get you started, but not enough to keep you going.

At least, that's what Kayla was thinking when she was at the recreational Quidditch pitch that Saturday morning.

Kayla bought a Comet 360, which wasn't the fastest broom in the market, but it was within her budget and she didn't know how fast she'd want to go, anyway. Lily was hovering in front of her on a Firebolt Supreme, trying not to be impatient but failing miserably.

In Kayla's defense, she'd been trying much harder to push her fear back. She'd managed to get the broom up before the twentieth try and mounted it as well. For some reason, however, as soon as the broom began to float higher and higher, she would panic and fall off. It didn't hurt, at was only two or three feet off the ground, but her ego was fully bruised.

"It's okay," Lily said for the ninth time Kayla had fallen onto her butt. Lily's expression was no better described than painful. "Let's try it again. But don't try to float higher. Just float in place."

"Sure," Kayla muttered, dusting the dirt off her legs. She was determined, but starting to feel quite tired. "I don't know what I'm doing wrong."

"Not sliding off the end would help," Lily suggested, trying to hide her smile.

"Shut up."

"Go on, try again," she urged. Kayla swung a leg over her brand new broomstick and tried not to glare at it.

"Okay," she told herself quietly. "I can do this." She kicked off the ground, sending her airborne. She tried to keep herself only at two feet high, exactly where Lily had been hovering for the last hour.

"That's it," she encouraged soothingly. "Just stay there for a minute."

"Okay." Kayla looked at Lily, and she was grinning. "I'm staying still. I'm in the air."

"You're flying, without the moving part."

"You suck." Kayla was trying very hard not to look down, since that was why she kept falling. Her heart felt like it was beating out of her chest.

"You love me," Lily said, grinning. "Okay, keep looking at me, all right?"

"Got it."

"You're going to go forward," she explained clearly, "not up. And you're going to move very slowly, as long as you do exactly as I say."

"Okay, okay," Kayla said breathily. Her lungs felt like they'd run out of oxygen. "How do I do that?"

"Lean forward _very_ gently."

She leaned forward, pressing the top of the handle as gently as she could. She moved forward a couple of metres before the broom suddenly jerked out of control and she was flying face-first into the grass.

Lily floated down and touched down on the ground. When Kayla didn't get up, she poked Kayla's arm with her foot. "You alright?"

"I tried," Kayla grumbled dejectedly.

Lily sighed heavily before leaning down on her knees and patted her head. "Come on. I know you couldn't fly like you've always wanted, but wasn't that much better than when you tried in Hogwarts?"

She nodded, feeling grass peek up her nose.

"I remember you sometimes couldn't even bring yourself to kick off back then. And today you kicked off, _ten times,_ and the last time, you even held yourself up in the air."

Kayla hoisted herself up on her forearms, smiling a little. "Yeah. I guess I did that."

"And you leaned a bit too much with your hands instead of your body. That's why your broom jerked." Lily patted Kayla's hair again, looking at her fondly. "You've tackled your fear of heights. This was a win, today."

"Yeah," Kayla said again, nodding. "You're right. I just have to try again next weekend."

"Exactly," Lily agreed, holding out a hand. Kayla took it and stood up before going over and grabbing her broom. "Maybe until then, you can hang out on the roof."

"The roof?"

"Of The Leaky Cauldron," Lily explained. "You can go upstairs to the roof and lookout. It's quite nice, actually, sometimes I go there to look out over Diagon Alley."

Kayla's stomach churned at the thought, but she nodded anyway. "I'll try it."

"What are you up to for the rest of the day?" Lily asked as they made their way back to the Quidditch field's Inn. They used the Floo Network there to easily get back to Diagon Alley. "Rose wants me to come to look for napkins for her wedding. _Napkins."_

Kayla snorted. "Right. Wedding is in two weeks."

"She wants us to come cake tasting tomorrow, remember?"

"Ah, shit," she groaned, slapping a hand to her forehead. "I haven't even gotten my dress yet."

"At least you don't have to wear the bridesmaid's dresses," Lily lamented gloomily, kicking the ground. "When I get married, I'm not dealing with all this bullshit. I'm hiring someone and making them deal with it."

"That's probably the best idea," Kayla replied, smiling. She wasn't hugely into wedding planning, but she knew Lily had ideas about her wedding since she was very young.

"I'm not going to worry about colours for napkins," she continued. "They're going to be plain _white._ Just like the dress and the tablecloths and the cake and everything else."

"Are you still doing the candle thing?"

"Of course," she said, looking at Kayla as if she'd gone mad. "Anyway, I'm pretty much sworn off men for now. What are you doing today?"

Kayla paused, suddenly feeling a little nervous. "I'm hanging out with Hugo and Al. There's a Quidditch match at The Black Rose today."

"I'm jealous," she responded as they reached the inn. Kayla knew that Hugo and Al were positive that Lily wouldn't mind if she dated her brother, but Kayla wasn't so sure. Lily didn't exactly exude patience.

Though she'd done a decent job that day, come to think of it.

Lily was entirely oblivious to Kayla's inner struggle. "I'm going to the napkin thing now. I'll see you at home." She hugged her and threw Floo Powder into the fireplace, and then she was off.

Kayla almost felt relieved once she'd gone; she absolutely despised keeping something from Lily. But for some reason, she didn't want to tell Lily about Al. She didn't want Lily to ruin her chances at a relationship with him, even if she might approve. After all, they were best friends.

She just wanted to keep him to herself for a little longer.

* * *

The Black Rose was always crowded, but that afternoon, it was absolutely packed. Kayla spotted Albus, Hugo and Gemma at their usual table at the end of the bar and began to make her way through. She grimaced as she squeezed through many tall, sweaty wizards cheering on the Quidditch game.

The Quidditch game was being reported on a Wireless that was turned up to a high volume. It accompanied a magical hologram that was beamed up in the middle of the bar so that everyone could see the game in real time.

"The game just started," Al said absent-mindedly as Kayla slid into the booth beside him. He slid an arm around her waist, but was fixated on the hologram. Hugo didn't say anything, but was communicating with Kayla using a series of eyebrow wiggling and smirks.

"Hi Gemma," she said, smiling at her and ignoring Hugo. "How are you doing?"

"Doing well," Gemma replied cheerfully. "The Tornados are playing against Lancashire, so it looks like an easy win."

"If they don't screw up," Al muttered, still watching the game closely. The Tornados was his favourite team.

Hugo was rolling his eyes. His team was the Chudley Cannons, who had just lost against Lancashire. He had very little interest in this game, on account of him holding a bit of a grudge. "Kayla, how was flying this morning?"

"Oh, you know," she said casually, but shooting Hugo a look. She did not want to explain to Al that she was afraid of heights; she'd seen him play Quidditch for years. She quickly changed the subject. "So if the Tornados win this one, they'll have to play the Harpies next?"

"Yep," Gemma answered, sipping her beer. "What's your team, Kayla?"

"Holyhead Harpies," Kayla stated.

"HOW did they not catch that?!" Al suddenly shouted, making Kayla jump. He didn't seem to notice. "That was a foul!"

"Like hell it was!" yelled another man at the table next to them. Al ignored him.

"Lancashire are a bunch of dirty cheats," Al grumbled, finally tearing his eyes away from the game. He took a long drink from his beer and swallowed heavily before turning to Kayla. "How was your day?"

She blinked at him. "Are you drunk?"

"No," he answered, his eyes flitting back to the game again. Behind him, Hugo was mouthing "YES" very dramatically.

Kayla was realizing she had never actually watched a game with Albus. They'd discussed Quidditch to great lengths in the past and she'd definitely witnessed him drunk before, but she never combined the two.

"Ah, Lancashire just scored," Gemma pointed out, groaning.

"So did you get off the ground?" Hugo continued to Kayla, pushing his plate of chips in front of her. She was glad, because she'd had lunch hours ago. "Where's Lily, anyway?"

"The napkin picking for the wedding," she answered, shrugging and grabbing a couple of chips. "She really helped this morning."

"How high did you go?"

"Only a bit," Kayla murmured quietly, eyes wide. She jerked her head a tiny bit to Al, who was completely absorbed in the game. "But we'll talk later."

"He cannot hear a word we're saying," Hugo told Kayla plainly. Then he grinned at Gemma, who seemed mildly interested in their conversation. "So, are you up for dinner?"

"After the game," she replied firmly, and Hugo groaned.

"Come on," he whined, pouting at her, which made Gemma blush. He took her hand and smiled. "We can get dessert, too. And wine."

"After the game," Gemma insisted, glancing back to the hologram but shifted so she was snuggling up next to Hugo. "Don't you love Quidditch?"

His face matched his hair at this point. "This particular game is useless to me."

"If Lancashire wins, the Harpies are going to beat them for sure," Kayla mentioned, feeling a little excited at the thought.

"Lancashire is _not_ going to win," Al interjected. Then his grip on her waist suddenly tightened and there was a loud cheer going around the bar. "Dammit _,_ they scored _again_?! What's wrong with Brown today?"

Kayla turned to Hugo again with a questioning look, trying not to laugh.

Hugo only shrugged. "He's very intense about Quidditch," he supplied.

Just then, Al stood up and joined the loud angry roaring that was responding to the Bludger that had just been sent at Brown, the Keeper for the Tornados. Kayla whipped her head around to see Brown fall to the ground and out of the hologram. Al was red-faced and screaming, "FOUL!", as if that would help.

For some reason, she found this strangely endearing.

When Al sat down, he sighed and drained the rest of his beer and buried his face in Kayla's shoulder. "They're losing."

"Only by thirty points," she tried to reassure him, patting the top of his head.

"To _Lancashire._ "

"They did make it to the World Cup last year," Gemma pointed out, a little unhelpfully for Drunk Al, who only groaned. "But the Tornados have Evan Williams on their team this year, they'll make it for sure."

Al sighed and fixed his eyes back on the game. "Okay. At least they're getting a shot for the foul."

"Aaaand… they just scored," Kayla said, the last of her sentence drowned out by cheers. Al looked considerably cheered up after this. "I think you're right about Evan Williams, Gemma." She looked pleased.

"They've got to find the Snitch," Al said anxiously. "If they lose this one, they have to play the Cannons, and they're not half bad this year. And the Harpies are hard to beat, I can never predict that one – YES!"

The Tutshill Tornados just scored another goal.

"I think I want to go to a Quidditch game with you," Kayla said, watching Al amusedly. She really didn't know why she found it so cute that he was so into it, or why it made her want to just watch him instead of the game. She'd never seen him so unashamedly lose it, and she really liked it.

He broke his gaze from the game to look at her. "If the Tornados win this one, I'll take us to the England finals," he told her very seriously, brushing her hair behind her ear.

Kayla blushed as Al turned his attention back to the game. Hugo was smirking at her again, and she kicked him under the table.

The four of them enjoyed the rest of the game with drinks and various snack foods. After about two hours, the Tornados Seeker caught the Snitch and won the game, 250-80. Albus was the happiest Kayla had ever seen him.

"We're off," Hugo told them before grabbing Gemma's hand and disappearing into the crowd that was steadily leaving the bar. It was only seven o'clock, and Hugo had been complaining of a grumbling stomach for the past hour, even though he'd eaten snacks like everyone else.

"Do you want dinner?" Al asked Kayla, looking at her a little apologetically. "I'm sorry. I get really into the game."

"I thought it was cute," she said, grinning at him. "Also, I had too many chips."

"And I had nachos," he said, gesturing to his empty plate that had bits of cheese and jalapeños stuck to it. He slapped down a generous numbers of sickles onto the table. "What a great game."

"You were so anxious," she teased as he put his arm around her.

"Like you're one to talk," he retorted, face flushing red, and she stuck her tongue at him. "Come on. Let's go out, I haven't spoken to you properly in days."

She shrugged. "I guess dessert sounds pretty good."

"You guess?"

"Only if," she added, "we go to this place I know. But it's in muggle London."

"I can pretend to be a muggle," Al joked, climbing out of the booth and holding out a hand for her. "Lead the way."

* * *

Al was definitely slightly drunk.

Though Kayla didn't mind, since it just meant he was a just a bit louder, held her a little closer and was very warm. Plus, he didn't really mind when she led him to a little hole-in-the-wall bakery a few blocks down from The Leaky Cauldron.

"Lily was scared when I first took her here," Kayla told him as they reached the dark alley off the main road. "I had to talk her down for a good while before I could convince her to put down her wand."

"That would've been a violation," Al mentioned casually. They reached a set of steep steps that led to a large, brown metal door with a tiny, lit rectangular window. "How did you find this place?"

"I saw a sign for it in a bookstore," she said as they went down. He held open the door for her and the warm smell of baking washed out of the room immediately. "They do a lot of catering and they're open practically all night."

Al followed behind her. "Wow, you really weren't kidding when you said hole-in-the-wall." The bakery wasn't exactly glamorous; it was slightly dark, even though the lights were on, and the floors, counters and tables were all stone. It was like an unfinished basement with industrial-grade equipment and a stone oven. There were a few other people sitting there, as well as the busy employees behind the counter.

"It is delicious, though," Kayla assured as she sat down at one of the tables. "My treat? Since you got drinks and food, and probably don't have muggle money?"

"Sure." Al took off his jacket and sat down. "You choose, though. I'm not an expert like you."

Kayla bought them three different types of small cupcakes with buttercream frosting: pumpkin, coffee and chocolate. After agreeing that these were the best cakes he'd ever had, she felt both of them relax a little. She supposed it was in both their natures to take some time to feel comfortable.

"What did you do today?" she asked as they were eating.

"Not much," Al answered, shrugging. "I was working on that Memory Potion all week. On Wednesday I had to work on it until three in the morning to make sure it didn't boil over until it finished. I slept in until noon today."

"How did the potion turn out?"

"So far so good. Some ministry people came in for it and haven't complained." He took another bite of the pumpkin cupcake. "I think I like this one the best."

"I like the coffee one," she admitted, as she'd finished that one. There was a pause in conversation.

"Do you remember when we went to that muggle school when we were young?" Al asked, smiling and shifting back in his chair.

"Yeah," she remembered. "We all hated it, didn't we?"

"I didn't mind it that much," he said. "We used to play that game during break."

"The one where we would jump down the play structures?" she asked, laughing. "Yeah. We never got hurt. One muggle kid asked Lily to teach them how to fly."

"Speaking of…" he said, leaning in and lowering his voice. "I heard that you were flying today?"

Kayla glanced around to make sure no one had heard them, avoiding his gaze and trying not to turn red. She was definitely going to kill Hugo later. "Flying is not the best word for it."

"Why's that?"

"I'm scared of heights."

"Oh." Al leaned back, regarding her curiously. He didn't seem disappointed, which surprised her. "Then what were you doing?"

"Trying to learn how," she confessed, crossing her arms against the front of her chest. "Hugo used to help me during school, but he gave up on it after a while. Lily was helping me this morning, it was better."

"That's… good," he said slowly, frowning. "Why do you want to fly? Wouldn't it be better if you stayed on the ground?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess," she answered quietly, looking down at the half-eaten chocolate cupcake on the table. "I've always wanted to learn, though. Flying seems amazing."

"It is," he confirmed. "So it was better today?"

"Yeah, actually." She shrugged. "I dunno. I think Lily is more patient than Hugo. Also, I was a bit more determined to keep going, but every time I looked down, I panicked and fell."

"You _fell_?"

"Like two feet."

"Oh." He still seemed very confused. "How are you going to fly fifty feet up if you can't do two feet?"

"I dunno," she said, her voice small. "Lily wants me to hang out on our roof or something stupid. I think I might just keep trying to get higher on the broom and get used to the height."

"Huh," was all Al could say. She couldn't read his expression, and then he changed the subject.

Kayla tried to put flying out of her mind for the rest of the night. They shared pleasant conversation for a while, eventually walking around the block a few times before they went back to The Leaky Cauldron. She thought Al had forgotten all about flying as well, until he was walking her up to her apartment and completely missed her floor.

"Al?" she asked, confused as they kept climbing stairs. His hand was gripping hers and practically pulling her up. "I'm on the third floor. We're nearly at the fourth."

"I know," he said cheerfully. "We're going to the roof."

Kayla stopped climbing the steps just as they reached the sixth floor. She really was going to kill Hugo for mentioning flying earlier. And Lily, too, for her stupid roof idea.

"No, we're really not," she answered, hating her voice for trembling already.

Al turned back to face her. He stepped down a step so their faces were levelled. "Yes we are."

" _Hell_ no."

"Come on," he urged, taking a hold of her other hand and smiling warmly. "It's not for flying. It'll be romantic up there. And it's not even that high up."

Kayla was shaking her head, unable to even look him in the eye. "Absolutely not. I'm telling you Al, I will actually panic. It's not going to be pretty."

"Now that's just silly," he dismissed, pulling her up more steps. Every stony step she took towards the roof, the more her heart was seizing. "I am not going to let anything happen to you."

"I can't do this," she insisted as they reached the top step. The door for the roof was right there, and she was not going to enter it. "I even avoided looking out the some of the windows at Hogwarts, Al. Do you know how relieved I was that my dormitory was in the basement?"

"Kayla," he began gently, but she cut him off with incessant head shaking.

"Don't even get me started with the Owlry," she muttered, shuddering. "That was a nightmare."

"Okay, fine." He squeezed her hands. "You don't have to go. But what's the worst that could happen up there?"

"I could fall."

"You will _not_ fall off the roof," he said loudly. She was waiting for him to laugh, but he seemed extremely serious. "I promise you. You'll probably do wandless magic before you hit the ground."

"I get dizzy," she told him, her voice much quieter than his. "When I'm a broom, I almost always look down. It makes me dizzy, and then I fall."

"You stop breathing."

She looked at him properly then, feeling startled. "What?"

"You stop breathing," he said matter-of-factly. "I sometimes got this during exams. I used to get extremely nervous to fail."

" _You_?"

"Yeah," he said, shrugging. "I'd study day and night and the day of exams, I would get dizzy and barely make it through the exam. First year was really difficult and I barely passed. I guess my mum mentioned it to my Aunt Hermione, because she sat me down during summer holidays and made me practice writing tests and keeping my breathing steady."

Kayla was suddenly aware how out-of-breath she felt.

"So if you go up there, you're going to focus on breathing. And I'm going to be there. I'm not going to leave you stranded on the roof."

"Why are you doing this?" she asked, so softly she wished she hadn't said it.

"I dunno." He paused. "Something happened this week, and then suddenly you're flying even though you're clearly terrified. I don't know what you're going through, but I figure I want to understand it."

She hesitated to think about his words. Kayla supposed it seemed a bit strange and unexpected since he didn't know about her eye-opening experience at the poetry slam the night before. Would she have gone on the roof that night, on pure adrenaline alone? Probably.

So why not the next day?

"Okay," she found herself saying. Maybe she felt adrenaline coursing through her again, maybe she didn't. But she knew she was _capable_ of doing it, just like she was clearly capable of flying on a broom without her own thoughts getting in the way.

"Really?"

"I'm going to do this," she said, mostly speaking to herself. She wanted to be brave. She wanted to do things she was scared of. "I want to."

"Are you sure?" he insisted. She thought he looked adorably concerned.

"Yes." And before she could change her mind, she shook him off, charged forwards and pushed through the door. She entered the dimly lit roof area, completely empty besides a few chimneys. The fresh spring air hit her face as she neared the fairly tall ledge and tried to look out over Diagon Alley.

 _Oh, Merlin, this was a huge mistake._

"Whoa, whoa…" Kayla heard Al's voice in her right ear as she started to feel dizzy and her knees shake. Then he was wrapping his arms around her middle, holding her from behind. "Grab onto the ledge. Lean on it."

She did so, her hands finding the stone just as she had to close her eyes. The lights below were blurring, and it was making her feel sick.

"You can't fall," he said, and he sounded very far away. "This ledge is huge. You'd have to literally climb up onto it to even accidentally fall off."

She let out a laugh, despite herself.

"Are you breathing now?" he whispered, holding her closer. "It's actually very nice out tonight. You can see the stars, even with the light pollution. I don't even know if you like looking at the stars. Open your eyes."

She took a long breath. In, out, in out. "I like the stars."

"Me too." He was very warm, and she found it overwhelmingly comforting. He took one of her hands in his and held it tightly. "You were wrong. You're very pretty."

Kayla laughed again and slowly opened her eyes. She didn't want to look down at Diagon Alley again, so instead she looked out. She could see the tops of other roofs and the stars Al was admiring. They really did look nice.

"Thank you," she said quietly. He pressed a kiss on the side of her head.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked, sliding his hand away from hers and wrapping back around her waist. She may have been clutching it a little too tight. "I'm all for flying, but it's not the best thing in the world." He paused. "Don't tell my brother I said that."

She kept her gaze locked in one place across the street, on the smoking chimney. "I'm trying to do things I'm scared of."

"Why?"

"I'm really tired of being afraid all the time."

Kayla could tell by Al's silence that he wasn't expecting her to say that. She felt embarrassed enough by the whole situation, so she let it be quiet, filled by the Saturday night noises of Diagon Alley below.

She thought of when Daniel Finch-Fletchy found out she was scared of heights, and he teased her endlessly. Then he was endlessly jealous when Hugo was teaching her to fly. She never wanted to open up to Daniel again, and she thought that was maybe why he cheated. But she could only guess.

"Are you ready to look down?" Al asked, nudging her. She shook her head. "Why don't you grip the ledge? Kind of like holding a broom's handle."

She took another couple of deep breaths before holding the ledge more tightly. Al smelled nice, too. At this point, she didn't know if her heart was beating quickly because of him or the heights.

Very slowly, Kayla moved her eyes lower. She fixated on storefront signs first, feeling her breath steady. Once they were in focus, she looked at various witches and wizards moving: one older man wearing a large, bright green hat; a couple of women sitting and eating ice cream and Florean's; a young man who was very drunk and stumbling out of The Leaky Cauldron.

"You did it," Al said quietly. She turned around to face him, and he was smiling – not teasingly or condescendingly, like she was afraid of. It was genuine. Unselfish. He tightened his grip to bring her closer, one hand on her waist, one going up to cup her cheek. She leaned in, and then –

 _BANG_.

The sound made them jump. They whipped around and peered down to the road. A witch, who was holding too many books and oddly, glass writing objects, had just dropped them onto the street. It made a loud echoing sound around the buildings.

Albus suddenly chuckled, and Kayla looked at him questioningly. He raised his eyebrows. "You just looked down at the road, _twice_ , without feeling dizzy."

Her mouth dropped open. "Uhh – well, I was still _scared_ –"

"Just take the win," he advised happily, slinging an arm around her shoulders and steering her towards the door to the stairwell. "You'll be riding a broom in no time."

 _Not likely,_ Kayla thought as they started making their way down the stairs. Her mind was more on the fact they'd almost kissed, and how she kind of wished he'd try again.

When Kayla got to her apartment, she unlocked the door before looking up at Al, who was leaning against the wall. Normally, he would be off after walking her home, but he was lingering tonight. She felt the heat burning furiously in her cheeks as she took his hand. "Would you like to come in?"

"Sure," he responded, smiling and running his other hand through his hair. Kayla began to push the door open, still feeling hopeful, until she saw Lily in the kitchen. In her underwear.

"Erm – " Kayla stumbled backwards into Al so they were back into the hall as Lily scrambled into her room. She looked back to him, and he was looking at her, confused. "Did you see that?"

"No," he said, frowning. "What –"

"Kayla, is that you?" Lily had come back out, wearing a long cotton robe. "Al? What are you guys doing here?"

"We were –" Kayla was stammering in the doorway, until she saw a man with brown hair and a thick short beard coming out of Lily's room, just in boxers.

"Holy shit," Al swore as the man darted back into his sister's room. "What the hell is going on?"

But Lily was looking down at their hands, still clasped together. She seemed speechless for a moment, then looked at Kayla with an expression of confusion and hurt.

"What the hell is going on with _you_?" she shot back, her voice hollow.

Kayla couldn't speak.

This was not how things were supposed to be.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Albus and Lily were fully arguing in a matter of seconds.

"What are you doing with that guy?" Al demanded, breaking away from Kayla and stepping towards Lily. "You and Kevin just broke up!"

"Al, we have talked about this literally a million times," Lily retorted, hands on her hips and standing defiantly straight. "You do _not_ get to decide who I date!"

Kayla remembered a time at Hogwarts when Lily was around fifteen and begun to date. It was with Liam Corner, a normal bloke, but Albus and James had both gotten in a terrible row with her when they found them kissing by the lake. Liam Corner, thankfully, made it out unscathed. Since then, Lily had an agreement with her brothers not to get in the way of her love life.

"You are not _dating_ that guy," he replied, gesturing wildly to her bedroom, "obviously."

"So?" She raised an eyebrow. "It's my life, my body."

Al's face coloured considerably at this. "I didn't mean it like that, you know that."

"Could've fooled me," she said coolly.

"Do you even know him? He could be a serial killer or rapist or something –"

"He's not!" she shouted immediately. "He works at the Ministry, in another department –"

"Like that's much better –"

"Don't give me that!" she said forcefully, poking him in the chest. "I know you've had hook ups in the past, just because you didn't like them very much doesn't mean no one else can –"

"They're stupid!" Al interrupted, both hands going into his hair. He looked extremely frustrated. "There's no point to them, so why bother?"

"Just because you say something loudly, doesn't mean it's true," she shot back. Then she rounded on Kayla, who was still standing at the door, wishing she could run away. "Are you hooking up?"

"We're –" Al began, but Lily cut him off again.

"You can't hook up with my best friend," she told him angrily, poking him in the chest again. "

"We're dating, Lily," Kayla said in a small voice. Her hands stuffed themselves into her pockets to stop them from shaking. She couldn't quite look Lily in the eye.

"What?" Her voice had lowered considerably. She looked in between Al and Kayla, back and forth, as if the answer was written on their faces.

"We just started dating," he put in.

Lily hands fell from her hips as she turned to him. "You're such a hypocrite."

" _What?"_

"You are!" Her face was reddening too, now. "You demand to know every single aspect of my love life, but you don't tell me anything from yours until _months_ after it happens! The second I do anything you don't know or approve of, you're yelling at me in my own goddamn flat! You don't get to do that just because you're my brother!"

"Lily, I –"

" _Get out!"_ she cried. Al inhaled very sharply before he turned around and stormed out the still-open door. He didn't look at Kayla as he left and slammed the door shut behind him.

Lily was wiping her eyes as the slamming echoed in the room. She didn't even look at Kayla. "How could you not tell me?" she asked, her voice broken.

Kayla opened and closed her mouth, but she couldn't find herself to say anything, and she didn't know why. She wanted to hug Lily, but also run after Albus. She wanted to tell Lily everything, but Lily didn't tell her about this man and she felt hurt about that, too. She felt pulled from either end.

After a moment, Lily decided for her. She went back to her room, also slamming her door, and she may as well have slammed it in her face.

Kayla's hands couldn't stop shaking.

* * *

Guilt was haunting Kayla.

She wasn't so sure exactly why she felt so guilty. It wasn't as if Lily told her about what was going on with her friend-with-benefits, but Kayla tried to reason that maybe she should have noticed. And she would have, if Al hadn't completely distracted her for the last two weeks.

But Kayla was used to telling Lily absolutely everything. She knew about the time she failed a Transfiguration exam in Third Year, all her firsts with Daniel Finch-Fletchy and the time she spotted Rose and Scorpius kissing in an abandoned corridor – before they were public, of course. Lily had always confided in her, as well.

It made her wonder what else Lily had hid from her.

After tossing and turning most of the night, Kayla nearly bailed on Rose and Scorpius' cake tasting for the wedding. She wasn't even sure why she was invited, as she wasn't even a bridesmaid. After downing two cups of coffee, Kayla made it a few minutes late at the bakery on the other side of Diagon Alley.

She was still out of breath as she sat down at the only remaining seat at the table. Lily didn't look at her and kept her arms folded across her chest. Rose's face lit up when Kayla dropped down beside her.

"Oh, good. I'm so glad you made it," Rose said happily, waving over the employee at the counter. "Hannah got pulled into work." Hannah Wood was Rose's best friend from Hogwarts.

"Happy to be here," Kayla said, trying to smile but failing. "How's the wedding planning going?"

"Oh, you know…" Rose was a very clever, detail-oriented person and loved to do planning; in school, she'd organized an End of Year Ball while she was Head Girl. Rose proceeded to talk for the next twenty minutes about colour schemes, designs and the intricacies of planning a wedding. Kayla was realizing why Lily's expression remained stoic as Rose spoke – she'd had to sit the napkin decisions the day before.

Different samples of cake were served as Rose prattled on about the wedding. As she went on, Lily and Kayla hardly got a word in and focused on tasting the cakes. After a while, Lily cut in sharply with an opinion.

"I think the red velvet is out," she said loudly over Rose's chatter. "It's alright but it'd be cheesy, you know? Since half our family's got red hair."

Rose paused, realizing she hadn't been paying attention to the cakes at all. "Oh."

"I liked the vanilla," Kayla supplied. "It's traditional." Lily shook her head.

"Nope, too boring," she said dismissively.

"I like the Pink Champagne," Rose said, trying out the pink coloured-cake with white frosting. "It will go with the candles on the tables with –"

"Pink Champagne is good," Lily cut in hastily before Rose went on another ramble.

Kayla cleared her throat. "I think the Lemon would be nice. It'd be nice and fresh for spring, you know?"

"What do you think, Rose?" Lily asked forcefully. "Pink Champagne or Lemon?"

Rose didn't seem to pick up on Lily's strange, forthright behaviour, but Kayla did. Lily liked to pretend as though she didn't care about weddings and marriage, but when it came down to it, she already had a wedding dress picked out. Kayla looked at her best friend, trying to read her face, but all she could see was that Lily was in a big hurry for this to be over.

Rose, however, was taking her sweet time. She tasted one cake after the other, smacking her lips. She hummed after tasting the Lemon, and then tasted the Pink Champagne again.

Just as Lily looked as though like she would explode, Rose slammed her fork down.

"Pink Champagne," she said decisively.

"Wonderful," Lily drawled, scooting her chair back. "Well if that's all, dear cousin, I am off –"

"Wait!" Rose said quickly, holding onto Lily's arm. "You haven't told me who your plus one is yet. You had Kevin down before."

Her face flushed. "I'm cancelling my plus one."

"What? Are you sure?"

"I'm on a bit of a break from men."

" _Really_?" Kayla spoke up in disbelief. Lily shot daggers with her eyes.

"Break from relationships," she corrected, tugging her arm out of Rose's grip and throwing on her beige trench coat. "No plus one, Rose. I'll see you at the dress fitting on Thursday."

And then Lily was gone. Kayla cleared her throat a little awkwardly.

"I guess I should be going, too," she muttered. Rose stared at her.

"Is she alright?"

"Yeah, we're just arguing right now."

"Oh." Rose considered this. "Should I rearrange your seats at the wedding?"

Kayla laughed, but Rose looked entirely serious. "No. We've fought before, we'll be fine." This was certainly true, but Kayla could only point out three times that she had Lily had serious fights. They almost never got into fights if she could help it.

"Well I hope not about whatever's going on her love life," she replied before wiping her mouth with a clean napkin. "Sounds like she's really wrapped up in something, there. She hardly ever tells me anything."

"Yeah." Kayla's voice felt distant. _Why_ hadn't Lily talked to her? "I guess."

"Al was telling me he wants to sit with you at the wedding." Kayla's head practically spun around to face Rose, who was grinning. "You okay with that?"

"Uh," she answered intelligently, feeling her face burn red. "Yeah. Of course."

Rose studied Kayla's face for a moment, then rolled her eyes. "Fine. Don't tell me anything. But come to the dress fitting on Thursday, yeah? Maybe you and Lily can sort out your spat after a bit of champagne."

"Sure, sure," she replied, shifting her chair back and grabbing her jacket. "I'll see you then."

"Yes," Rose agreed, already distracted by the cake in front of her. "Should I have pink champagne to go with the cake? Or Rosé? No, _that_ would be too cheesy…"

Kayla couldn't get out of there fast enough.

* * *

"Flobberworms have to be the most disgusting creature in the world. Even worse than Erklings. And _Trolls._ "

Kayla rolled her eyes at Hugo. They were sitting on the wooden floor, elbow-deep in the new soil planters in her room, digging for the Flobberworms that had begun to evade her plant growth. They were going to be quite small at that point, but they ate new roots essential for the plants, so she had to dig them out.

And since Hugo had shown up announced for dinner, she'd roped him into it.

"Ugh," he groaned as he pulled another one out. He dropped it in the jar Kayla had popped open so she could take the Flobberworms to the shop later. "I'm going to need to take three showers later."

"You'll be fine," she reassured him. She pulled a clump of soil out in her hand so she could search through it more carefully for eggs. "How was your weekend?"

Hugo shrugged. "It was good. I only had one shift at the Wheezes so it was relatively open. Though I had to listen to Al ranting about Lily for all of lunch today."

"Really, now." She tried to keep her expression impassive.

"Yeah, something about how he feels bad but also does not approve and won't apologize for having an opinion." He pulled out another Flobberworm with a shudder and dropped it in the jar. "What opinion does he have, anyway? He never mentioned it."

"He doesn't approve of Lily's relationship with her colleague," Kayla explained, placing Flobberworm eggs in another container beside the jar. Both were very useful for potions.

"Friends with benefits."

"Yeah." She thought back to an hour ago, when she and Hugo were eating sandwiches on the couch and Lily had come home with the same man from the night before. Lily had pulled him into her bedroom and locked it, and she still hadn't come out.

"I just don't see what Al's so wound up about," Hugo told her. "I could not give two shits if Lily's hooking up with guys. All I want to know is that she's using protection."

Kayla wrinkled her nose. "I dunno. Al cares too much and he's overprotective. Something about Gryffindors, I'm sure. James would probably rip him apart just on impulse."

"Yeah, Al's not that violent, though."

"True." There was a pause.

"He _did_ say he was going to apologize," Hugo continued, looking at her pointedly. "I don't know why, though."

"Oh…" Kayla focused on the soil plot, still searching for the tiny eggs to avoid his eyes. "Well. Lily might have found out last night. That Al and I are dating."

"Might have?"

"She did."

"Huh." She could see from the corner of her eyes that Hugo was trying very hard not to laugh. "And did she _like_ that you were dating without telling her?"

"Not particularly."

He snorted then. "So he's apologizing because Lily doesn't approve of you two."

"She didn't say that."

"What did she say?"

Kayla put a few eggs in the container so she could look at him. "She said she was hurt that I didn't tell her."

"I see."

"And she's barely said a word to me since."

"She'll forgive you," Hugo said dismissively, going back to his planter and digging through around the leafy plant. "You guys can't fight more than twenty-four hours without crying and making up."

"It's been more than twenty-four hours," Kayla pointed out, and she couldn't keep the worry out of her voice.

"Well, Al seemed pretty guilty for yelling at her. He kept going on about how he knows he needs to let Lily make her own mistakes and leave her alone." Hugo made a face when he pulled out a particularly fat Flobberworm, about the size of his hand. "Ugh, _gross._ "

"He said that?" she asked, ignoring him.

"Yeah." He practically threw the worm into the jar before looking back at her. "Why? Do you disagree?"

"No." She shook her head. "I'm glad, actually. I don't think he should be so overprotective. Lily's old enough to make her own decisions."

"Do _you_ care that Lily's… you know." He jerked a head towards Lily's still-closed bedroom across the hall. Luckily, they couldn't hear anything thanks to silencing charms.

"No," she said, shaking her head. "I mean, it's her life. But I wish she had talked to me. She's been going on about this marriage stuff for a while, and I would have supported through her this she'd just _told_ me about it."

"She is going through a rough breakup."

"At least he didn't –" Kayla cut off quickly before she mentioned the word cheating. "Anyway, she usually talks to me about everything. But I've been completely out of the loop for this."

"Me, too." He looked a little concerned, but then shrugged. "I'm sure she's going to figure it out in her own way, friends with benefits is not the worst thing in the world. Lily's smart, she'll protect herself."

Kayla knew he was right, but couldn't help but feel worried anyway.

They worked in contemplative silence for a few more moments before Hugo blurted out, "Gemma asked if we could… you know. Make this a thing."

She stared at him. Hugo was never nervous, but now he was digging through the soil with intense focus, ears turning red.

"Don't you fancy her?

"Well, yes."

"Didn't you say she's been great? And that she doesn't care that you have two jobs, and she said she'd cheer for the Chudley Cannons with you if they ever made it to the finals?"

"It could still happen!" Hugo said loudly. Then he sighed and pulled his hands out of the soil, brushing them off. "I don't think I can be her boyfriend."

"Why not?" she asked, confused. He hadn't had a girlfriend for a couple of years and definitely hadn't been happy about it.

"There's something I haven't told you." He slumped against the large wooden frame that held the planter, fiddling with his muddy hands uncertainly. "I got an invitation to open for this renowned comedian. He's based in Amsterdam."

Kayla blinked. "Open? Like beginning the show?"

"Yeah."

"With _your_ material?"

"Yes," he confirmed, still staring at his hands. "It's sort of an audition, but I think it's a sure thing. He happened to see me perform last week while he was in town and wants me to tour with him all over Europe if the show goes well."

Her jaw slackened in surprise, and she felt like standing up to cheer. "Hugo, that's _incredible_! Did you tell Lily? Not now, but –"

"I will," he said, still staring down at his hands. "I haven't told anyone else yet. I don't know if I'm going to do it."

"What?" she said loudly, more confused by the moment. Why did he look so _sad_? "Hugo, you have to do it. That's what you've been wanting for the last ten years."

"I know."

"This means you can stop working two jobs! You can use all the money you saved and perform all over the country –"

"I know, Kayla," he said again, very quietly. "If I get it, I'm going to be gone for four months."

Kayla dropped a Flobberworm that she was about to put in a jar. " _Four months_?"

"Yeah."

"You're leaving?"

"Yeah," he repeated, looking up when he heard how small her voice had become. "I mean, I'll probably be able to visit. But not very often. I'd have to arrange Portkeys and get them approved, or I might be too tired to Apparate…"

She stared at him, her mouth still wide open. She felt like the world had suddenly started to spin wildly. "Holy shit."

"I know."

"Holy _shit._ " Her best friend might leave. For months and months on end. She hadn't been far away from Hugo since Hogwarts, and that might have only been a month, at most. She shook her head, trying to relieve the shock. "You have to tell Lily."

He looked at her pointedly. "And _Gemma._ "

"Oh." She let out a long breath. "Holy shit _._ "

"Please stop saying that," he said, sounding tired. "I know I have to break up with her. It's not fair to ask her to wait for four months, and then I don't even know where I'll be. I might not even move back to London."

Kayla suddenly understood. "You're thinking of not doing it for Gemma?"

"Yes."

"But…" She struggled for words, trying to say it as delicately as possible. "You've wanted this for so long. And you've only been dating Gemma for like… two weeks."

"It's stupid," he muttered, sounding very sad. "She's just really amazing. I really like her. And now I'm going to have to break it off and chase after a pipe dream."

"It's not a pipe dream, Hugo," Kayla replied, frowning. "It's really built to something. This is an amazing opportunity."

"I know," he repeated for the umpteenth time. His eyes dropped to the floor. "I feel like that Flobberworm."

It hadn't moved an inch from where Kayla had accidentally dropped it on its back.

"I think it's time for ice cream," she decided, sticking the worm into the jar and closing her containers. "This has been a shit weekend, thanks to Lily and wonderful opportunities being thrown in our faces. Let's go to Florean's and eat our feelings?"

Hugo nodded, smiling for the first time since he'd begun talking about this. "I'm up for that."

After she and Hugo washed their hands very thoroughly and before they'd left for late-night ice cream, a cinnamon-coloured owl Kayla didn't recognize flew to her window and tapped on it insistently. After letting it in, it dropped a small scroll of parchment in her hand and flew off. She opened it immediately, not knowing what to expect.

In squished but mostly neat handwriting, a note was written:

 _Kayla –_

 _I'm sorry for storming out without saying goodbye last night. I know Lily is probably fine, but I just get a bit worried about random blokes taking advantage of her. I'm going to apologize to her tomorrow, but it was probably best that we both cooled down today._

 _I had a brilliant time with you yesterday._

 _See you soon,_

 _Albus_


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Lily didn't speak to Kayla for days.

Technically, she did murmur the odd, "Excuse me," as they passed each other in the hall, or if they were both cooking in the cramped kitchen, but otherwise, she didn't speak to Kayla at all. Even when she'd apologized to Lily, she was uncharacteristically quiet.

Kayla had tried to talk to Lily soon after Albus had apologized on Monday night. He'd knocked on Lily's door for a full three minutes before she'd come out. They made up, hugged and then he treated her for dinner. According to Al, it had gone well and Lily had forgiven him.

But for some reason, when Kayla tried to apologize the next day, it might as well have fallen on deaf ears. Lily only stared at her as Kayla said how sorry she was for keeping that secret, how she wasn't sure if she and Al would really be dating and wanted to make sure before she caused any trouble. There was absolutely no response to the apology at all.

Lily could keep a grudge, but she'd never kept one against Kayla before.

By Wednesday, Kayla was feeling guiltier than ever. She didn't see how it would have done any good to tell Lily earlier, because it seemed that she would have been extremely angry either way. And now that Kayla had sincerely apologized, she felt a bit angry, too. It wasn't as though Lily was explaining herself, either.

Kayla went to work that morning, her insides twisted with guilt and contempt. Wednesday tended to be a quiet day for Slug & Jiggers, and she decided the best thing for her to do was to throw herself into her work to avoid the endless thinking about Lily or Hugo or Albus. Unfortunately, there were no potions to be made, no ingredients to be ordered and she finished the cleaning hours ago.

Kayla really wondered then why she worked at the store. Most of the time there was no challenge at all, nothing to learn, nothing to _do._ She always said she liked it, but maybe she liked that it was so comforting to her. There were usually long, quiet stretches where absolutely no wizards or witches entered the store at all.

It was not comfortable at the moment.

Then she thought about poetry.

The type of poetry she heard at the slam was honest and meaningful. Each word felt deliberate to be experienced through the audience. Kayla felt like her writing was more of endless drabbling, and as she tried to write, her mind ultimately went back to Lily and Hugo.

She tried to write about something else, at first, but it kept popping back into her mind. She wrote a couple of lines about her best friend leaving, and then a few more on resounding silence.

It was then that she snapped her notebook shut and shoved it back in her rucksack. Her hands were trembling, but she decided to read _Magical Mediterranean Water Plants_ out loud so she couldn't hear the thoughts roaring through her mind:

 _She will never forgive you._

 _He is leaving forever._

 _You are going to be entirely alone._

Her mind felt like a warzone.

She was so wrapped up in it all that she didn't even hear the door jingle when it opened. Luckily, it was only Albus, though that didn't make it less embarrassing. When he saw her sitting at that counter, reading the paragraphs aloud from the book and teary-eyed, he came around the counter.

Kayla didn't stop reading until she first noticed Al when he was stepping behind the counter. Before she could say anything, she found her nose pressed into his middle as he wrapped his arms around her.

She took a deep breath before mumbling into his jacket. "Hello."

"Are you okay?" he asked softly, squeezing her a pulse before letting go. "You look pale. And why are you reading that book out loud?"

"I don't know," she muttered, avoiding his eyes and folding the corner of her page. "I'm weird."

"Well, yeah, but a good weird." He knelt down and peered at her, forcing her to look at him. "Are you angry with me?"

"What?" she asked, suddenly confused. "Of course not."

"Is it…" He hesitated. "Is it Lily?"

"Yeah."

"You haven't talked yet?"

" _I've_ talked to her," she said quietly, irritably, "and apologized. But she hasn't forgiven me."

"So now you're reading…" His expression softened as he read the title. "You still haven't finished that yet?"

"I've been busy."

"Sure." Al sighed and leant down to kiss the top of her head. "Have you seen Hugo? I think he's been avoiding me."

"Erm…" Kayla was a terrible liar, but she wasn't about to sell out her best friend's secret. She could feel her face turning red as she spoke. "I'm sure he's just busy with Gemma. He told me he's been very taken with her."

"Can't argue with that." He tugged the thick textbook out of her hands and set it down on the counter beside her. "You seem quite down because of Lily."

"I don't know what's going on with her," Kayla admitted miserably.

"Can I cheer you up?" he asked, taking her now-empty hand and holding it firmly. "It's nearly the end of your shift, right? I need your help with something."

"I dunno, I think I just want to go home and conk out."

"After," he urged, pouting at her with wide eyes. "Please? This is good, I promise. And after I will watch telly with you."

Kayla looked at him skeptically. "I thought you didn't like doing that." He'd almost never attended her movie marathons and thought it was strange to stare at, as he would say, "A moving picture box for hours on end".

"You love that muggle stuff, so I will try it." He looked sincere, as though he was actually looking forward to it.

She stood up to step closer to him, looking at him very seriously, even though she was joking entirely. "I will need a bribe."

"It's a bit late for coffee, isn't it?"

"Chocolate," she corrected, cracking a smile. "Honeydukes. I have been craving that stuff all week."

Al laughed just as the door jingled again, and Kevin stepped in. He somehow didn't even look surprised when he saw Albus behind the counter, but just nodded at Kayla and headed for the back room.

"Looks like your shift is over," Al said, pulling her hand. "Let's go. I promise this will cheer you up. We just need to stop at your apartment first."

"How come?" she asked, grabbing her rucksack and jacket from her chair.

"You have a Mimbulus Mimbletonia, right?"

* * *

Kayla's father had gifted her with a Mimbulus Mimbletonia ages ago. She kept the tiny grey cactus alive at her windowsill for years, as it was a rare and very useful plant. It reminded her of her father whenever she thought about it.

Al was more excited to see it than she thought he would be. When they approached it at her window, he knelt down beside it and petted it very gently. Not to her surprise, it made a gentle crooning sound and did not erupt any Stinksap from its boils.

"It's almost like a pet," he joked, straightening up.

"What do you need it for?" she asked curiously, setting her bag down on her bed. "I know Stinksap is dead useful, but we never use it in potions."

"Oh, I know," he said, grabbing his wand and taking out a large plastic container from his own bag. He held it up against the cactus. "I want to use the Stinksap for something that came up today."

"For what – _eek_!"

Al had poked the cactus roughly with the end of his wand. Kayla jumped back as the Mimbulus Mimbletonia's boils exploded, splattering Stinksap everywhere. It smelled strongly of manure. While some of it went onto the window, most of it ended up into Al's container.

"Give a witch a warning, would you?" she said, her chest heaving heavily from surprise. He grinned guiltily at her before muttering " _Scourgify_ ," and cleaning the mess in Kayla's room.

"Sorry," he said, closing his container and shoving it back into his rucksack. "I should've said something. I just want this to be a surprise."

She shook her head, smiling. "I've never used it for Stinksap. The only thing I've ever done is use _Herbivicus_ on it."

"What do you mean?"

Kayla pointed her wand at the Mimbulus Mimbletonia and said, " _Herbivicus._ " A thin green light shot towards the plant and stems began to grow outwards from the boils. The steams grew into the buds that immediately bloomed into beautiful pink and white flowers.

"Whoa," Al said, leaning down close to the plant again. "I've never seen that before."

"It's an advanced Herbology charm," she explained. "It's a bit tricky, but usually it makes the plant grow. For a Mimbulus Mimbletonia, instead of making it grow, it blooms and its flowers are magical. They can be picked and used for hygienic purposes."

"I never took N.E.W.T. level Herbology," he said, shrugging. "It actually looks really interesting when you explain it."

Kayla blushed.

"Come on," he said, standing properly and holding out his hand. "I'm going to cheer you up, now."

Albus led Kayla down the road to Eeylops Owl Emporium. Until they entered, she hadn't a clue to what he wanted to do, but as she entered the shop, it dawned on her. Many of the owls were hooting weakly and tiredly and looking extremely sick.

"Stinksap will help them better than the potions," Al explained as Kayla ran her fingers at the top of a particularly quiet barn owl near the front. He brought out the container full of green, horribly-smelling sap and pushed it in her hands. "The owner sent us an order today but I thought this would be quicker. I didn't want the disease to spread any more than it already has."

He excused himself to speak to the owner, leaving Kayla with the large container of sap. She looked back to the barn owl with its moon face and brown spotted wings and felt a deep pang; her father typically used barn owls to send letters to her, as Hogwarts had many barn owls in the Owlry.

When Al came back, he was holding several Popsicle sticks. He took the container and set it down on a table next to a few owl cages before opening the lid.

"I don't think they'll like the smell," Al said, swiping the tip of the wooden stick through the Stinksap and holding out the clean end for her. She took it. "We'll have to wait until they hoot and then quickly stick it in. I except they'll be alright by tomorrow."

She only stared at him, holding the stick, and he raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"You are…" Kayla trailed off and turned away, trying not to smile. "Never mind." As she began to poke the stick through a cage of a disgruntled scops owl, he pecked her cheek and went to the other side of the store.

For the next hour, it was both a frustrating and wonderful time, administrating Stinksap to sick owls. While the owls were adorable, one definitely pooped on Kayla's shoulder at one point, and she didn't notice until Al was laughing at her. They also reacted very badly to the taste of the Stinksap, and one flew aggressively at Kayla once they tasted it. Luckily, it was kept in a heavy cage.

"That one's a fighter," the owner had said wearily while the owl clanged in its cage.

Eventually, Kayla had treated many owls and was back at the first sick barn owl she'd seen before. It was very quiet, so she stood and had a staring contest with it, daring it to hoot so it could finally open its beak a crack.

Al ended up at her side ten minutes later, and the owl still hadn't opened its beak.

"It won the staring contest," she whispered as he wrapped an arm around her waist. Her bicep was starting to feel tired, holding the stick of Stinksap out.

"You're having a staring contest with the owl?" he said, sounding amused.

"I _was._ "

Al laughed. "It's very sweet," he said gently, opening the door of its cage and scratching its neck. It yawned. "I think it's a she."

"It's a she," the owner confirmed, coming up behind them. He was a very tall man with a handlebar moustache, and he played with it as he spoke. "Very bright owl. We found the egg abandoned and raised her. She's only a year old."

"And she's sleepy," Kayla said softly as the owner walked away. "Do me a favour and make her yawn again?"

Al scratched the owl's neck again. Just as it closed its eyes, Kayla tipped the stick forward and it caught in the owl's mouth when it opened. It nipped the stick and then its eyes opened widely in surprised. Al hastily retracted his hand and closed the cage door.

"You're going to buy her, aren't you?" he asked, holding Kayla closer. She smiled but didn't answer. She wasn't sure if she was quite ready to buy an owl, no matter how beautiful it was. "I think I promised you tea now?"

"Don't forget the telly," Kayla teased, and he groaned.

* * *

They ended up bringing Chinese takeout from a restaurant nearby in London and settling on Kayla's couch before flipping through channels on her television. She didn't know if Lily would care, but either way, she wasn't home. Al decided to make the tea while she decided on the best program to watch.

"Did you find something?" he asked, collapsing beside her.

"Where's the tea?"

"It's coming," he said nonchalantly. She glanced behind him and saw two steaming mugs floating towards them. The mugs settled themselves onto the coffee table in front of them. When she looked back at Al, he was watching her expectantly.

"What?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow. "Did you want me to be impressed?"

"Oi, it's really hard to do that without the tea spilling!"

"You do realize that _Wingardium Leviosa_ is a First Year charm, don't you?"

"Shut it," Al said jokingly, poking her side and making her giggle. "I'd love to see you do the same."

"You should really challenge the First Years, at least then it'd be a fair fight –" Kayla cut off as Al grabbed her around the shoulders and nuzzled her hair gently. She squealed as he started tickling her sides.

After a few protests, Albus let up, but was still chuckling. "I think our food is getting cold."

As they began to eat, Kayla eventually found a documentary series on baking. Al didn't protest as the program began to describe the origins of many different sweets.

"You still owe me brownies," he said after some time.

"Owe you?" She pretended to think for a second. "Is it your birthday?"

He pouted at her, mouth full of noodles.

"Did you win a bet? No…"

He swallowed. "I will take you out for a nice dinner this weekend if you make me some."

"Hmm." She narrowed her eyes. "So the only way you'll take me on a nice date is if I bake you brownies?"

"I'd like to change the last thing I said," he said loudly, his ears reddening.

"I don't think so!" she said, just as loudly, but she was smirking now. "I think you just keep bribing me into doing your dirty work."

He poked her side again. "It works, though."

"Hmph." She brought her knees to her chest and focused on her carton of noodles, chopsticks and telly, ignoring his pokes and tapping on the shoulder as he attempted to get her attention again.

Eventually, he rested his head against her shoulder. "You win."

"I do?"

"I am going to take you for a nice dinner." He turned to kiss her shoulder. "And I won't expect any brownies."

"I don't even know if I want to go to dinner with you anymore," she said playfully, keeping a pout on her face.

"We're having dinner right now."

"You've really cheaped out, haven't you?" she teased.

He heaved a long sigh and took hold of her shoulders, looking at her straight in the eye. "Kayla, will you _please_ have a lovely romantic dinner with me and I promise I am not bribing you to do any more Herbology, even though I know you love it?"

She grinned. "I'll think about it."

Al rolled his eyes and let go of her in a huff. He had turned his attention back to the telly and his food when Kayla put her carton down and sat on her knees to turn to him. He was pouting playfully as he fake-ignored her.

She swallowed her nerves to press a small kiss against his cheek. "I'd love to."

He tried to contain his surprise, but she caught his eyebrows jumping up. "You're just using me for my money," he grumbled.

"I'm not sure exactly what money there is."

"Goddamn, I thought you were supposed to be a nice Hufflepuff," he said grouchily. "Can't you bake me brownies out of the goodness of your soul?"

"Hufflepuffs are very loyal," she told him seriously. "We can be very dedicated to our laziness."

He rolled his eyes but put an arm around her and held her tightly.

Kayla's heart was still pounding furiously and her cheeks were burning, but it nearly felt natural to her now. She had never felt so comfortable with someone she was dating; she was usually extremely self-conscious and barely spoke. Maybe it was because she and Al had known each other for a while, but then she thought maybe it was something different.

Maybe this is what people meant when they said they "clicked" with someone.

As she was thinking this, Al was playing with her hair absent-mindedly. He suddenly spoke, very quietly. "I'm looking forward to it."

"To what?"

"A nice date." He glanced at her. "With you."

She couldn't stop smiling after that.

* * *

Albus proved to be very good at distracting Kayla, but not for very long. As soon as he left, her mind was back to swirling thoughts of misery and confusion. She didn't want to bother Albus with her problems, and Hugo really was busy with Gemma. She wished she could talk to Lily.

She didn't see Lily until the next day at Rose's dress fitting. It was near the Ministry of Magic buildings, in a muggle shop that looked very small from the outside but carried an inordinate number of dresses.

When Kayla arrived in the back room of the shop, a little late as usual, Rose was in the change room. Kayla plopped down onto a plush white couch beside Lily and Hannah Wood, Rose's best friend. Hannah had a long face curtained by long brown hair and her nose and cheeks were covered in freckles. They were both sipping champagne and chatting animatedly.

She felt very out of place immediately; she wasn't a bridesmaid.

"Hi, Kayla!" Hannah greeted cheerfully. "Rose is trying on her first dress."

"It's not going to be the one," Lily added.

"It _might_."

"It's never the first one!"

Kayla grinned, slightly relieved that Lily didn't sound angry or irritated this time. She hadn't glanced at Kayla at all, but at least there weren't any dirty looks heading her way.

"Anyway," Hannah said, handing Kayla a glass of champagne, "I haven't seen you since Rose's birthday party three months ago! How's it been?"

She shrugged, accepting the glass. "Oh, you know. Not much has changed. Excited for the wedding, though."

"The wedding will be wonderful," Lily said happily. She'd clearly had a few glasses of champagne already. "Open bar is the best."

"The open bar is for me," Rose said from behind the change room curtain. She emerged a second later in a white dress that reached her toes and practically bound her legs together. She looked a bit like an albino mermaid. She swirled around with difficulty. "I don't think I can dance in this."

"No dancing, no dress!" Hannah waved a hand in dismissal. A middle-aged lady attendant came out, hearing this and hurrying another dress over. It didn't have any sleeves and was a bit shorter than the current one.

The lady pushed the dress into Rose's hands and backed away again. "Try this on while I look for this one dress, I _know_ I saw it just this morning…"

She bustled out of the back room again.

"I am so thrilled for this wedding," Hannah gushed as Rose went back into the change room. "I pushed Rose to ask out Scorpius for years, back while we were at Hogwarts. She was completely convinced he was uninterested."

"Yeah, I remember that," Kayla said, nodding and taking a sip of champagne. "There were rumours for ages…"

"You saw them snogging in a corridor, remember?" Lily interjected, finally looking at Kayla. "You didn't tell anyone, though."

"Well, I told you."

"I'm surprised," she said, the sharpness in her voice so slight that Kayla almost missed it.

Hannah hadn't noticed anything. "They hid their relationship for a long time, and now they're getting _married…_ " Hannah trailed off, staring into nothingness with a mushy look on her face.

Despite their tension, Lily and Kayla exchanged amused glances.

"You really like weddings, don't you Hannah?" Lily said, hiding her smile in her glass.

"I really do," she said with that same, faraway look. Then she dropped her eyes down to the ground, sighing. "My boyfriend isn't into marriage, though."

"Come again?"

"He loves _me_ ," Hannah said quickly, cheeks colouring. "We've been together since Hogwarts and he asked me out at graduation. But it's been so many years, and he says he has no interest in ever getting married."

"So you'll date until the end?" Kayla asked. "What's the difference?"

"He thinks marriage will change everything," Hannah answered gloomily before draining her glass. She then grabbed the bottle to refill. "I will have to live vicariously through Rose."

Rose came out after that in another slightly ridiculous dress, and the discussion was dropped.

They split up to find dresses for Rose to try on. While she had meticulously planned every other aspect of her wedding, she hadn't a clue what kind of dress she wanted to wear. She attempted different lengths, fits, sleeves, no sleeves, sequins, jewels, poofs…

"This is insane," Kayla muttered while Rose tried on the twentieth dress. "There has to be one she likes a _little_."

"You know Rose," Lily replied under her breath. "She's extremely picky."

They clinked their glasses together in agreement, and things almost felt back to normal.

Hannah looked tired as well, since they'd been there for nearly two hours. "Maybe I _don't_ want to have a wedding."

Kayla snorted.

"Do you?" Hannah asked suddenly, facing Kayla with interest. "Are you still dating Daniel Finch-Fletchy?"

"No, no," she said, shaking her head. "We broke up at Hogwarts, years ago."

"He cheated on her," Lily added unnecessarily. Kayla shot her a look, feeling her cheeks heat up.

Hannah frowned and patted Kayla on the shoulder in understanding. "That's horrible. I'm sorry, I guess I didn't hear about it."

"Nah, you and Rose already graduated by then," she replied, trying to keep her voice steady.

Rose came out again in another dress, but before the girls could say a word, she tutted at her reflection in the mirror and went back into the changing room.

"What about you, Lily?" Hannah asked, nudging her with her elbow. "Remember when we used to look at bridal magazines in the common room? You kept a picture of that amazing dress you wanted, it must cost a fortune…"

Lily cleared her throat. "Well, I'm not really interested. I mean, we're only twenty-four… loads of time, you know…"

"That's silly," Hannah said nonchalantly, crossing her legs. "Of course you're interested in getting married. You practically planned out the whole thing that one time –"

"Well, it's not for ages," Lily interrupted in a strained voice. "I don't really see the point. I want to enjoy my freedom while I can, have some fun." Hannah fell quiet after that, seeming confused.

Kayla cleared her throat. "I get that."

Lily's head twisted towards her immediately. Kayla could see the very little bit of vulnerability in her eyes. "Really?"

"Of course," she said casually, tasting her drink and avoiding Lily's gaze. "Don't we all get to choose what we want out of relationships? It takes time to meet the right person, and we might as well enjoy ourselves while we figure the rest out."

Lily looked away.

They sat in silence for a few seconds before Rose came out again, dressed in her regular clothes this time. She sat in front of them on an ottoman, looking exhausted.

"This is terrible," she said sadly, putting her elbows on her knees and holding her head in her hands. "The wedding is in less than two weeks. Scorpius' bachelor party is tomorrow night and I haven't even found a dress yet."

"We'll try another shop this weekend," Hannah encouraged, smiling at her. "I know this one place a little farther out of London, they'll tailor for you too."

Kayla watched sympathetically as Rose nodded, not looking at any of them. She hated dress shopping and couldn't imagine how difficult it was to pick one for such an important day. She saw Lily in the corner of her eye, nodding along to Hannah's words.

Then without warning, Lily burst out, "Kayla hasn't found her dress, either."

Kayla's face burned in humiliation. Lily of all people knew how anxious she got for these big events and ended up fretting over what to wear. Any time when she had to face a crowd of people that were usually judging each other on physical appearance, she ended up taking any route not to think about it.

Thankfully, Rose and Hannah didn't comment on Lily's outburst. They packed up to leave and a few minutes later, as they left the shop, Lily glanced to Kayla. She looked very guilty at this point, but she didn't say a word.

It was in these moments Kayla realized how unsettled she still felt. Not only was her life with her career and work feeling messy, there was an added bonus of this uncertainty with her friends. She never thought she would ever feel that way with Hugo or Lily before.

Maybe she depended on them too much.

They walked in silence back to their place, which was about a fifteen-minute walk. It wasn't until they'd reached their flat and closed the door behind them when Kayla had mustered enough courage to speak.

"Look, Lily…" She took a deep breath as Lily turned back while shrugging off her coat. "I hate this. We never fight. I'm sorry I kept this whole thing from you."

Lily sighed deeply and threw her coat onto the couch before rounding on her. "Are you serious right now?"

Kayla stepped back in surprise. "Yes…"

"You're apologizing?" Lily demanded, gesturing wildly with her hands. " _You_?"

"Well, you won't speak to me." Kayla said, trying to keep calm, but she was fidgeting with her fingers and feeling extremely frustrated. "I just want to get this over with and be friends again. We need each other right now."

"You got that right," she snapped, kicking off her shoes and tossing them by the door. "Rose and Scorpius are getting married and Hugo is probably leaving right after."

"Exactly!" Kayla agreed, her insides twisting violently just thinking about it. "I don't want to fight anymore."

"You never want to fight," Lily said, a bitter edge to her voice.

"Well we should just try to talk it out calmly –"

"You're dating my _brother,_ " she said slowly, gritting her teeth, "and you didn't tell me! You think I can be calm about that? Do you know how badly this all could turn out?"

"What – no?" Kayla sputtered. "What are you talking about?"

Lily sighed, looking up at the ceiling impatiently and dropping her hands ceremoniously to the sides. "Do you not realize what will happen if you guys break up? I will have to choose. And I have to choose family."

Kayla felt like she'd been slapped in the face. "That's not – I think we could –"

"You would _never_ be able to fix that, Kayla," she said tiredly. "Our group is going to be broken up as it is, and I am going to be the odd one out. Again."

She suddenly remembered when Lily was so torn about being Sorted in Gryffindor when Kayla and Hugo landed in Hufflepuff. They did their best to include her in everything, and they were still close as ever, but Lily would always go silent when Hugo and Kayla shared a story from when Lily wasn't there.

Perhaps it still hurt, so many years later.

"You're my best friend," Kayla said weakly, trying not to let her voice break. She was not going to cry. Not now. "I just want things to go back to normal."

Lily stared at her for a long time. Even after being friends for so long, Kayla couldn't tell if Lily's expression was more of disappointment, exhaustion or loneliness. Maybe it was all three.

"Fine," Lily replied dully, turning to head towards her bedroom. "Have fun with that."

"Lily, wait –" she tried to say, but Lily slammed the door. Kayla felt like she was going to throw up and cry and collapse all at once.

What the hell had just happened?


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

Kayla had an unbearably restless night.

She ended up waking far too early, when the sun was just rising, and instantly felt wide-awake. Lily was sleeping, and Kayla decided it was best not to wake her. She decided to brush her teeth and get dressed for work, even if it didn't start for another few hours. She hadn't written before work in a few days, so it would be a great chance to get a few lines down.

She was sitting at Rosa Lee Teabag thirty minutes later, a coffee and bagel on her table and mind racing. There was so much that felt pent up and warped up inside of her, and her writing came out messy, confused and unorganized. She tried to ignore it and kept writing furiously into her notebook.

Kayla had no idea how long it was before the frustration of her mediocre writing stopped her. She took a deep breath and sat back, reading over the ten pages she'd scribbled out of her journal entry and munching on her bagel. There was Lily and Hugo and Albus. There was a creeping feeling of bitterness and regret. There was so much, _too_ much anxiety.

She was doodling in the margins, sipping her now-lukewarm coffee and wishing some miracle would drop from the sky so she didn't have to go to work when Albus sat down at her table. She nearly jumped in surprise.

"Morning," he said, raising an eyebrow at her as he unravelled a scarf from around his neck and shrugged his coat off. "Didn't expect to see you here."

"Neither did I." She subtly leaned her forearms on top of her notebook. "What are you doing up so early?"

"An emergency St. Mungo's order came in last night," Al answered gloomily. "I had to get up a few hours ago to quickly brew a Sleeping Draught and an Anti-Paralysis Potion. I wish they'd warn us quicker when their stocks are running low."

Kayla gave him a sympathetic smile, and he shrugged. "Want anything? I'm going to order breakfast."

"I'm okay, thanks," she responded. He leaned over to brush his lips against her cheek before heading to the counter. The spot he kissed tingled and she tried not to smile.

A few moments later, Kayla's gaze was drawn to the other side of the café where the stage was. A man with terrible posture was speaking to the blonde lady who emceed the last couple of poetry slams. She had no idea who it was, but she was guessing the man was the next guest speaker for the slam that night.

"What are you looking at?" Al asked, returning with a plate full of eggs and toast, tea and a folded up newspaper underneath his arm. He sat down and put his breakfast on the table before twisting around to look. "What's the stage for, you think?"

"Open mics."

"Oh, like music?" he said, sounding interested and looking back at her.

"No, poetry."

" _Oh,_ right," he said, grabbing his fork from his plate and beginning to dig into his food. "Like the sign outside. That sounds good; maybe we should check it out sometime."

"Yeah, maybe." Kayla kept her voice very steady and indifferent. She wasn't really sure if she wanted to tell him about her writing yet. Or ever.

 _Why_ didn't she want to tell him?

She looked at him as he ate, unaware of her internal struggle at that moment. It wasn't as though he didn't know her well enough by then or didn't like her. He knew about the plants and the fear of flying and the cheating ex. He was fine with going slow, even though they were a little older and known each other forever. He was so patient. Why didn't she trust him with that?

"Oh!" Al suddenly started rooting through his bag. "I just remembered…" He pulled out a small, battered textbook. "I was hanging out with Scorpius at Obscurus Books the other day. I thought you might like this."

She took the book from him. In gold, chipped print, it read: _Herbs and Magical Modification._

"I've never heard of this," she said, beginning to thumb through the table of contents.

"I think it's rare," Al said, shrugging. "You were talking about your experimentation you did in school, and I saw the new plants in your room the other day…"

"Wow." She looked back up to him, her heart beating erratically as she felt a rush of affection for him. "Al, you really shouldn't have…"

He smiled at her and went back to his newspaper and breakfast. She slipped the book in her bag before looking down at the scribbles in her notebook and turned to a fresh page.

It was nice, for a while, sitting quietly together and eating. Al was drinking Earl Grey as he did the crossword, and his ears turned red when Kayla playfully pointed it out. Their knees bumped under the table and Al didn't move. The gentle _scritch-scratch_ of her quill as she wrote a few lines of poetry was oddly comforting.

As they sat there, she wrote about him.

Nothing strange or creepy, but just things she noticed about him. The way he furrowed his brows and forgot about the piece of toast he was holding when he couldn't figure out an answer. The way he would pull at his hair as he was reading and not realize it. The way every so often, he'd look up, smile at her and then go back to eating.

She was very sure she liked him a lot more than she wanted to admit.

After some time of writing, she borrowed a part of Al's newspaper. He seemed to have finished the crossword and cast some of the papers aside, so she picked that up. The movement seemed to break his attention.

"So what are you doing up so early?" he asked curiously.

"I couldn't sleep," she said, flipping through the articles. _Minister of Magic, Ministry, international relations…_

"Anything bothering you?" he asked when she took a long gulp of coffee. "Did Lily finally talk to you?"

"In a way," Kayla replied, sighing and putting her mug down. "She's really angry. All through the dress fitting, she was…" She trailed off, not wanting to relive the embarrassment from the night before.

"Rose's dress fitting?"

"Yeah." She bit her lip. "Anyway. I'll talk to her tonight."

Al reached across the table to take her hand, which was fidgeting on the edge of the newspaper. He smiled warmly at her. "It's going to be fine. She'll come around, you've been friends for so long."

She nodded, and he let go before going back to his tea. "It's just… she kind of made sense at one point."

"Hmm?"

"Last night, she told me why she didn't want us dating," she said, very quietly. She couldn't look him in the eye, so she focused on the few sips of coffee left in her mug. "She said if we broke up, she'd have to choose family over me."

Al's voice sounded strangled when he answered. "That's stupid. Of course you would still be friends. We're adults, we can be polite around each other."

"I know, it's just –"

"And you two live together."

"Yeah." She looked up at him, her breath getting caught in her throat when she saw he looked upset. "But I think she's worried about being left out."

"Left out of what?"

"Our group," she said. "We're going to be all paired up now, and Hugo might be leaving, and –"

"Wait, what?" Al interrupted, leaning forwards. "Hugo is leaving?"

"Um." She flushed red. "I didn't tell you that."

He frowned. "Okay…"

"The point is, Lily said she'd feel left out," Kayla stammered out, looking back down at her coffee. "I know it's weird, but I'm just worried. She's never been so angry with me before." She swallowed heavily, her voice shaking now. "I just… I don't want to lose her."

He was staring at her with an indiscernible expression on his face. "So… you just always do what Lily tells you to do?"

Her head snapped up, cheeks burning.

"Just a genuine question," he said, sounding strained as he folded his newspaper and stuffed it in his bag. "So that's it, then? You want to break up?"

" _What_?" she squeaked. "No, I just – no, it's not that, I think I –"

Al waited for her to finish, but she didn't know what to say.

"I don't really understand," he said after a few moments of silence, looping his scarf back on. Kayla could see he was really hurt now. "Lily's being stupid and you want to go along with it."

"Al," she said in a small voice, taking his hand to stop him from leaving.

"What do _you_ want?" His voice was hard and made her shrivel inside.

"I don't know," she said softly, almost pleadingly. "I'm just trying to figure this out. I don't want to upset either of you."

"Yeah, well…" He pulled his hand away and stood up to put his coat on. "Let me know when you figure it out, I guess."

And then he left, and Kayla was at a loss for words.

* * *

An hour later, Kayla was sitting at the front counter of Slug & Jiggers, still confused.

Kevin was in the back room working on brewing, and it was painful. He reminded her of Lily, who reminded her Al, as if she could forget him. She felt almost nauseous thinking about him, because she really felt as though she'd hurt him. But she really hadn't meant to.

She decided would speak to him tomorrow, when he wasn't exhausted and hopefully not hungover from Scorpius' bachelor party. Maybe she would do something nice for him, to show him she cared… and she really did.

Still, she was miserably guilty all through work. She tried to throw herself into it, like she'd always done, but she was so exhausted and _bored._ After her mind had been racing furiously, she felt brain was melting from the routine of the shop.

The book Al had given her felt as though it was burning in her bag. Kayla took it out, and the newspaper fell out with it. Al had left half his newspaper with her and she'd stuffed it in her bag in her haste to go to work. She went to throw it out before she glanced at an ad for a Ministry internship.

For Herbology.

 _'Seeking Post-Graduate Herbologists. Intern with the top Herbologists in the Ministry of Magic's Department of Mysteries. Please send applications to the address below.'_

Kayla tried to put it out of her mind. She liked her job, she _did,_ and she couldn't just go for an internship. She hadn't studied Herbology properly in years, and what if she didn't get the job at the end of her internship? It was too much of a risk.

She pushed the newspaper back into her bag and out of sight. She felt out of breath, as though her whole body was thumping from her heartbeat, and she didn't know why.

Maybe she didn't want to know.

* * *

After Kayla had left work, she'd gone upstairs to her flat. She made a small dinner for herself, not feeling very hungry. There was a huge sense of dread that was creeping up on her, her stomach in the biggest tangle of knots she hadn't felt for years.

She thought maybe she'd go to bed early. She changed into her pyjamas and brushed her teeth. As she splashed water on her face, trying to feel just the slightest bit normal, she had that strange feeling like she was being stared at. She looked behind her, and then in the mirror. It was just her, alone.

The reflection was the hardest to face, for some reason. It had never bothered her before. It was just her normal face, her normal hair, her normal self. But maybe that was the problem – she felt so _ordinary._

And maybe it was strange, but she'd never planned for ordinary _,_ but adventure. She never planned to change the world, or be famous, but she thought there was more to life than going the same path every day. The same cobblestones of Diagon Alley were so familiar she could skip all the trick steps with her eyes closed.

This was not what she wanted.

Kayla gripped the sides of her bathroom sink, feeling lumps in her throat and forcing herself to swallow them down. It was ridiculous that this was even coming up at this moment, when things were a little better, weren't they?

But Lily was so angry with her, and she couldn't understand why.

Hugo was definitely going to do his dream job. And he wouldn't be back for _months._

And Rose and Scorpius were going to move out of Diagon Alley after the wedding. At least, eventually.

And Albus.

She fancied the hell out of him, and she could so freely admit that to herself now. She liked how he never left her guessing what he was thinking. He was patient and kind and knew exactly who he was and what he wanted.

And he wanted her.

So why did she want to run away so badly?

She closed her eyes, remembering him just that morning. How he kissed her cheek and made her blush that her face felt hot just remembering it. He was so kind and handsome and _interesting_ that it made her want to shrink into herself. She could scare him off – or bore him off.

Because Kevin MacMillan hadn't seen a reason to stay. He went onto Lily, her beautiful best friend, who was lively and outgoing and never scared of anything.

And Daniel Finch-Fletchy had made it perfectly clear that she wasn't capable of having a good relationship. Not when she gave and gave and boys just kept taking selfishly.

 _I'm being stupid,_ Kayla told herself, shaking her head and swallowing heavily. _Those guys don't matter anymore. Things have changed._ She looked at her reflection.

Her boring old reflection. She hadn't changed at all in six years, had she?

"I wasn't supposed to be like this," she whispered to the mirror.

Her voice echoed off the walls, echoed in the forefront of her mind.

She couldn't push it back anymore.

* * *

"Kayla?"

Lily had sleepily stepped into the kitchen, seeing the light on. It was one a.m., Kayla was covered in flour and there was a ginormous pile of cookies, brownies and muffins on the counter. When she saw Lily, she could only blink, as she if were coming out of a trance.

Then she burst into tears.

"Oh no…" Lily hurried forward to hug Kayla, getting flour all over her pyjamas. "What happened?"

"Nothing, nothing," she said hastily, drying her tears with the back of her hand and accidentally smudging a little chocolate on her cheek. "I'm just being silly."

"Silly was five batches ago," Lily told her, eyeing the piles of sweets. "Are you catering the wedding or something?"

"No." Kayla sniffed and looked up to her best friend. Her heart felt heavy, as though it were mourning something she never had.

How exactly did she get here?

Kayla had brushed her teeth, thinking she would go to bed early. Then she remembered Al had joked about her brownies before, so she started making those, so maybe he'd forgive her. Then she realized she'd never made that batch of cookies for Lily, and thought she'd make some extra for Hugo as well, for his travels if he decided to go.

And suddenly, it was past midnight, she was still in the middle of her baking frenzy and she was realizing how much she would do for her friends, but never herself. Even while Kayla felt exhausted in the depths of her mind and her feet ached terribly, she kept baking.

And suddenly, she hated herself for that.

"Do you really not want to get married?" Kayla asked anxiously.

"Uh…" Lily looked confused at the sudden outburst. "Not right now."

"But _ever_?"

"Of course I do," she said, pulling Kayla towards their small dining table and sitting down with her. "I mean, Kevin thought I wanted kids next year, but honestly, I just want to meet the right guy. Someone who isn't a little bitch."

Kayla chuckled shakily. "Makes sense to me." She wasn't even really sure why she brought it up. She supposed everything was on her mind, and it had led her to something that had been bothering her quite a lot lately.

"Yeah." Lily watched as Kayla wiped her eyes; those tears never shut off when you wanted them to, do they? Why was Lily being nice all of a sudden, anyway? "So what happened?"

"Well." She inhaled slowly. "I guess I was thinking about it. You know, that night we got pissed and were talking about marriage, I was thinking how I _do_ want to get married. I always have, but since Daniel…"

"You haven't really been interested in anyone," Lily finished sympathetically. "I can't blame you. Hugo was talking about how you looked so down lately when he came to tell me about that poetry thing."

"I haven't felt down," Kayla told her, fidgeting with her fingers on the table. "That's the crazy thing. But ever since he told me about it, I couldn't help feeling…"

"Sad?"

"Disappointed," Kayla corrected decidedly. "I remember how I used to want to travel and write in different countries, and how I really got into fusing magical ingredients in my plants, and then, somehow…" She looked up at Lily, feeling tears brimming in her eyes again. "It all stayed in the past. I don't do it anymore."

Lily nodded. "It's kind of how I don't really read as much," she confessed, shrugging to herself. "I used to sit for days during holidays, reading one book after the other until you came and rescued me."

"Yeah." Kayla sniffed. "I remember that. We'd read by the pool for hours."

"And now, I think about reading every day," she said, "but I never do it. I might read in the loo, I guess."

Kayla let out a snort. "You'll take forever."

Lily covered Kayla's hand with hers. "So… I'm guessing you're having a change of heart?"

"I guess." She wiped her eyes again. "I just realized that Hugo's right. I let so much time pass by because I felt so heartbroken by Daniel."

"Heartbreak does ruin everything," Lily lamented, nodding. "Tea?"

"Yes, please." Lily got up to set the kettle on, and Kayla took a few deep breaths. Her mind felt muddled. Lily set down a mug of boiling tea in front of her a few minutes later and sat back down.

She sighed and traced the mug handle. "I don't think you should blame yourself, Kayla. That bloke really did hurt you. Didn't you realize you stopped doing all those things when you were in the relationship?"

"What?" Kayla asked, frowning. "Really?"

"Yeah," Lily said slowly, tilting her head at her. "Remember? You were devastated about that Sopophorous plant in seventh year, but you didn't grow another one like you usually did."

"Oh." She was remembering, now; she loved and tended that plant for ages, but for some reason it had wilted suddenly overnight. She'd felt horrible about it for weeks. But then in the mix of breaking up with Daniel and NEWTs, she supposed the plant had gone forgotten.

"And then remember you bailed on our graduation trip?" Lily asked. "We'd been discussing touring France for six straight years, but you didn't want to go."

"Right," Kayla said, her voice feeling hollow. "I got the job at Slug & Jiggers."

"Exactly."

"I'm still at that same job. With Kevin."

"Yes."

"Who left me for you." As soon as Kayla said it, her hand flew to her mouth; she'd never meant to say it to Lily. Wide-eyed, she began to apologize.

Lily waved her off, grabbing Kayla's arm gently. "No," she said determinedly. "I did something horrible, something a best friend should _never_ do, and you immediately forgave me for it. You didn't yell or even get a little angry."

"I didn't like him that much," Kayla said honestly, feeling uncomfortable.

"So?" Lily pressed, her grip tightening. "For Merlin's sake, Kayla, I was a shitty friend to you! Daniel cheated on you and you still watch him play _Quidditch_ every month! Don't you ever feel angry?"

Kayla did feel angry. She felt it bubbling in her throat, and instantly, she wanted desperately to shake off Lily and run to her room. She could write, she could pace until she fell asleep, but she did _not_ want to do what Lily so obviously wanted her to.

"I am," she said, voice wavering in trying to stay calm, "but I just think it's not really worth it –"

"Maybe it would have," Lily argued. "Kayla, I've been guilty for months about Kevin. You _do_ realize I don't deserve to be forgiven?"

She stared at her best friend, at a loss for words.

"It's been horrible," Lily continued, her voice breaking. "You're just so nice. I'm not actually mad that you're dating Al, not at all. I was just mad you didn't tell me. Honestly, though, I didn't deserve to be angry at that, either."

"I don't understand," she said numbly.

" _Kayla,"_ she said fiercely, letting go of her and digging her fingers into her own arms. "You forgave me for _cheating_ with Kevin. Why the hell do I have any say in your relationship with my brother?"

"I…" she swallowed heavily. She had no idea why. "You're my friend."

She took a breath and wiped a few stray tears. "I've been trying to get you to understand that I have been a terrible friend. You need to be angry with me. I said that stuff to Rose and Hannah on purpose."

"What?"

"I'm being selfish because I want you to shout at me," she explained, almost desperately. "I need you to understand this. So that no one can take advantage like that again. But people take advantage of you _all the time._ "

"Lily," she said thickly, feeling so overwhelmed she could barely speak.

"I deserve for you to _hate_ me," she insisted forcefully. "You told me Daniel made you feel like you couldn't trust yourself anymore. Why doesn't he deserve your anger? Why don't I?"

"It doesn't solve anything –"

"Do you know why people shout at each other?" Lily asked, grabbing both of Kayla's arms this time. "Because they might not learn otherwise. Because I know I could keep taking advantage of your kindness, because –"

"Lily, I –"

"Because," she said, very red in the face. "Why. Fucking. _Not_."

Kayla was breathing very quickly now. "Because you're my friend. And you wouldn't do that to me."

"But I could do that to you anytime, couldn't I?"

"No!" she said loudly, feeling hot in her cheeks and a little lightheaded. "Because you _shouldn't_ do that, and you know that being a good friend means that you always have to support each other!"

"What if I didn't know that?" Lily told her, nearly yelling. "What if I didn't know I hurt you?"

"But you did know!"

" _But what if I didn't?_ "

"YOU HURT ME!" Kayla shouted, unable to control herself. "You went behind my back, and it still hurts! You dated a guy just because he was there and I told you it was okay, but it wasn't, and it still hurts!"

Kayla wiped her eyes roughly, feeling everything spilling out. "Why didn't Rose ask me to be a bridesmaid?"

"I – what?" Lily spluttered, confused.

"She made me go to the cake tasting and all the dress fittings _._ We've been friends for years. Why don't I get to just stand up there with you and Hannah in those stupid dresses? I did all that bridesmaid _shit_ and but she didn't want me to stand there!"

"That was pretty shitty of her," Lily agreed, nodding.

"It's just so confusing!" Kayla yelled, rounding on her again. "You embarrassed me so much last night! How could you tell them I was cheated on? And you're _so_ angry that I didn't tell you about Al, but you didn't even tell me about what you're going through with your sex buddy. I'm not a mind reader, why didn't you just _talk_ to me?"

"You're right."

"And you are so unhappy with me and Al…" She felt so nauseous thinking about him. "Well I screwed it up this morning. _You_ made me screw it up. And he's never going to forgive me."

Kayla was breathing hard when Lily finally let go of her arms, and a few tears rolled out. She wiped them away angrily. "I almost never lose it like this."

"I know," Lily said quietly. "I think you should do this more often."

"Bloody hell _,_ " Kayla swore, covering her face with her hands. "How did everything get like this? Where have I been?"

"I think you were in denial," Lily said uncertainly.

"I've lost _years_ ," Kayla said quietly. "I've lost so many years being quiet and angry without even realizing it. We could've gone to France. I could have done experiments and written books. I could have dated other guys. I wanted so much more out of life than this."

"I think," Lily said, nudging Kayla's mug closer to her, "if you're thinking this, you're much better off than you were last week. _That_ Kayla thought life was entirely monotonous, and she was okay with that. _That_ Kayla was going to waste away at her crappy job. _That_ Kayla," she emphasized, "thought she was happy."

Kayla stared into her untouched tea, feeling bewildered for what felt like a very long time. She felt like the answer was staring at her in the face. "I am going to quit my job."

"Hell yes."

"Holy Dumbledore, I am quitting my job."

"Should've quit years ago!"

"I am going to apply to that internship." Even the thought was causing a smile to grow on her face. She looked at Lily. "And we're going to France. Tomorrow."

"Amazing!" Lily cheered.

"Or whenever you get your next vacation days."

"Even better!" Lily said, grinning. Then she pulled Kayla in for another hug, sobering up. "Kayla, I have been so guilty for so long."

"I didn't know."

"I'm so sorry, Kayla." When she pulled away from her, Lily's eyes were wet and cheeks were streaked. "You'll never know how sorry I am. Honestly."

Kayla looked at her best friend closely. After yelling at her, she couldn't find it in herself to be angry anymore. Sure, Lily had provoked her an entirely dramatic way, but there was something inside her that felt infinitely lighter. There was a freedom from something she hadn't known had trapped her.

Hugo had tried to make Kayla face her reality, but Lily held the mirror.

Only a best friend could do that for someone.

"I want you to get married," Kayla said, a little out of the blue.

"I know, I know," Lily said, chuckling through tears. "Someday."

"No, I mean…" Kayla looked down into her tea again and finally took a sip. "Like when we were younger. You were so into romance and love, and… that's _you,_ Lily. I want you to believe in that again."

"I'd like that, too," Lily said quietly, also taking a sip of her tea. She sighed. "I'm not sure. I would love it, I honestly would. But I don't know if I can take more heartache. These men don't _care_ what I like or want, they just focus on themselves."

"Selfish men." Kayla hummed in agreement. Then she thought of Al, and how he was so careful with her because he knew how nervous and anxious she got. Maybe it was from all those years of knowing her, or maybe he just genuinely cared.

Good men are hard to find.

"I need to talk to Al," Kayla said, more to herself than Lily. "Tonight."

"He's probably awake," Lily said immediately. "He had Scorpius' bachelor party."

"He's not going to want to see me," she said quietly. "He thinks I'm closed off and playing games."

Lily snorted. "Yeah, well, he's got that stupid thing about how he hates lying or beating around the bush or any type of bullshit at all."

"I know," Kayla moaned. "It's going to take some seriously grovelling to get him to forgive me."

"Skip that," she advised quietly. "He's an open book. He wants reciprocation, not excuses. Just tell him what's been going on with you and he will appreciate it more than any apology you could say."

Kayla let out a breath she wasn't aware she was holding. "Okay. Yeah. I'm going to go there now."

There was a pause.

"I think I need some time, though," Lily said slowly, thinking. "I need some time after Kevin, but I kind of like this whole no-strings-attached thing. But later, I think I'm going to look for someone who also wants something serious."

"Okay." Kayla smiled. "I don't really care for the wedding, but I've always liked the idea of growing old with someone."

"Exactly," Lily said, nodding. "That kind of love is rare. I think I would settle for someone with mutual respect, at this point, but I can hope."

"We can," she replied absent-mindedly. It was a tiny thing, hope, but she felt it encompassing her and flowing through her veins. It was coming out the other side of a mental prison, shackles gone. It was waking up from the nightmare.

It was a breath out of despair and a breath in of trust.

Trust in herself.

Kayla looked up at Lily. "We really _can_ hope, can't we?"


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

Kayla was heading to Albus' apartment with determination. Maybe it was just adrenaline, but it practically carried her past the dark streets of Diagon Alley at two a.m. Soon, she was rapping her knuckles on his door sharply, ready to speak to him.

And then she looked down and realized she had flour all over herself.

All the adrenaline in her turned into immediate panic. Before she could _Scourgify_ it off, the door yanked open. To her surprise, it wasn't Al who opened the door, but Scorpius.

"Kayla?" He looked a little startled. "What are you doing here at this hour?"

Behind him, she could see Albus sitting on his couch. He hadn't turned to check who was at the door at all. She turned her attention back to Scorpius; she was sure he knew about her and Al dating, but she definitely didn't want to tell Scorpius about what happened that morning.

"How was the bachelor party?" she managed nervously, not knowing what to say.

"It was good," Scorpius said absent-mindedly, looking back at Al. "Listen, Al is kind of drunk, he lost this game and had to down four shots. Maybe it's best if you talked to him tomorrow?"

"Probably," she agreed, feeling disappointed. She looked down at the foil-wrapped plate in her hands. "I made these for him, maybe you could -"

"Who's that?" Al had come stumbling over to the hall to see who was standing by the door. When he saw her, he groaned loudly and leant into the wall. "Kayla. If you wanted to call this off, couldn't you have done it in the morning?"

She flushed brilliantly as Scorpius glanced in between them. "I think I've missed something."

"No, don't worry," Kayla said hastily, stepping inside. It was clear she needed to talk to him tonight; it couldn't wait. "Why don't you head home, Scorpius? I'll take care of Al."

"Are you sure?" he asked her, but Al had suddenly bolted into the bathroom. Scorpius' eyes widened. "Erm, if you insist."

Kayla nearly laughed despite herself as Scorpius let himself out. Al's apartment was quite messy, with papers and books on every surface of his kitchen and dining area. She set down the plate of brownies after shifting a couple books out of the way and shrugged her jacket off before heading to the bathroom.

Al had finished retching into the toilet and was chewing Tooth-Flossing Mints when she came in. He groaned when he saw her and sat down on a rug in front of the sink. His face looked very pale.

"What are you doing here?" he rasped, letting his head fall back against the cabinet.

She sat down opposite him, leaning against his shower door. "I came to apologize. I talked to Lily."

He sighed and closed his eyes. "Kayla. I know I overreacted this morning."

She balked. "No, I was being stupid."

"I jumped to conclusions."

"That wasn't your fault, I wasn't making any sense."

"I understand if you want to break up."

"I don't want to break up," Kayla said loudly, and her voice echoed off the walls. She clasped her fingers together in her lap, but they still trembled. Maybe she would always be nervous around Al, and that's just how it was.

He watched her wearily. "I know it's only been three weeks. We can leave this on good terms and you'll still be friends with Lily."

"Lily will understand," she said confidently. Then she paused. "Do _you_ want to break up?"

Al groaned and sat up a little, looking determinedly past her. "Did you know I had a thing for you in school?"

There was a beat of silence. Kayla felt stunned. "What?"

"Yeah." He shrugged, but his words were slipping into each other. "I was sure you knew. I mean, I just wanted to get to know you, but I was really shy those days. I nearly asked you out in my seventh year, but you were dating that Hufflepuff then."

"You..." She cleared her throat. Her heart felt like it was stuck there. "You never told me."

"Well..." Al shrugged again. "You know I've dated a few other girls since then. When we started hanging out a few years ago, and I thought you were with Hugo until you told me about Kevin a few weeks ago."

"I've never been interested in Hugo," she said numbly, her mind racing. She thought about how it would have been to date Al back then. Would they have stayed together? How differently would things have gone after she graduated?

She looked at him closely, and he looked quite red and embarrassed. Even drunk and sitting on his bathroom floor, Al was handsome – not in the way that was completely obvious, but in the sense that his kindness showed on his features. There was that softness to him.

"So, no," he continued, his words slurring a little, still not looking at her. "I don't want to break up. Whatever this is."

"You seemed pretty angry this morning," she commented nervously.

"Well, I am," he said pointedly, making her wince. "I've been honest with you from day one. I'm really trying to be patient because I know you get nervous. But you don't trust me at all."

"I do trust you," she said immediately. But she remembered that morning how she didn't trust him with her writing and didn't talk to him about practically anything important.

Maybe he had a point.

"I've had enough relationships built on lying and mind games," he said quietly. "I don't need any more."

"So have I," she said, thinking of Daniel and Kevin. "Manipulation and betrayal."

Al held his head in his hands. "Merlin, I wish the room would stop spinning."

"Do you have anything for that?"

"I might," he moaned. "I haven't done shots like this since I was twenty-one."

Kayla stood up then and opened Al's mirrored cabinet above the sink. She found a couple of vials of Pepper-Up potion, a few bandages and cough drops, but no sign of a Sobering Solution. She closed it and grabbed a glass by the sink before dropping onto the floor beside him. "I'm guessing you need some water."

Al made a sound between and snort and a grunt, but didn't look at her. She conjured water in the glass and he took it.

"I talked to Lily," she said quietly. "I was really wound up after what happened this morning."

He took a sip of water and grunted again. "What did she say?"

"I, uh..." Kayla's face flushed, thinking of how Lily made her scream at her and explode. "You know. We made up."

"Wonderful," he deadpanned.

When she looked at him, he was holding his head, fingers held tightly to his temples, eyes firmly shut, taking little sips of water. She remembered what Lily had said about how apologies wouldn't matter to him. Now, seeing him, it was clear that he wasn't just angry or exhausted, but also disappointed.

In her.

She took a deep breath. "Remember what I said about bad timing the other day?" Kayla asked tensely, hugging her knees to her chest. "After our first date…?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know if you really care," she began, "but things have been really confusing lately. Nothing to do with you. I think you've been the only normal thing lately. And nothing actually _happened._ I think it's mostly in my head."

He opened his eyes and turned his head to her. "I care." Al's voice was quiet, but very firm. As though he wasn't lying, as if he really ever did, but it gave Kayla the encouragement and strength she needed.

Because if she ever wanted to trust him, and she did, she supposed she had to start somewhere.

"Hugo announced to me a few weeks ago that he wanted to change my life," she said, trying to ignore the embarrassment from that statement. "I didn't really understand, at first, but then it became really clear that my life needs change. Everything I did was really stagnant. It was too comfortable."

Al nodded, motioning for her to keep going as he drained his glass.

"I guess…" She hugged her knees closer and rested her chin on them. Every word felt so difficult to say, but she pushed through. "I guess I felt like I lost myself. For a long time. Maybe it's terrible relationships that do that to you, and I just never noticed."

He nodded again, in agreement this time. "Yeah. They do."

"Hugo and Lily pushed me to do some things," Kayla admitted. "I suppose I was trying to find myself in the things I used to love, or dream about. It was harder than I thought to go back it all."

"Being comfortable is easier than it seems," he told her, seemingly much more sober now. "I was really reluctant to join the Potions club or try out for the Quidditch team. My brother helped me out with some of that, but it took a lot of pushing and work before it felt like any of it was worth it."

"Yeah." Kayla kept her hands wound around her calves, as if she could curl into herself. "That's why I'm learning how to fly. And why I have half a greenhouse in my room. And then there's this poetry thing."

When she fell silent for a moment, he nudged her with his knee. "What poetry thing?"

"You know, the open mic," she said in a small voice. "I write poetry. I want to perform it." She didn't look at him for his reaction before taking a deep breath and kept going. "This is really hard for me. I'm not the kind of person who is very open about things."

He nodded, and then seemed to regret the movement. He slid his hands back in his hair and closed his eyes. "I can see that."

"I wish I was, but I'm not."

Al kept his eyes closed, but he took her hand. "I really appreciate this, then."

She felt her cheeks heat up, but something inside her was singing.

"So I had a fight with Lily," she told him. "She's been goading me and trying to make me confront her about everything. And I hate confrontation more than anything, so I yelled at her and it was horrible."

He chuckled and conjured more water for himself. "I would pay five Galleons to see that."

"Excuse me, it was worth at least ten." He laughed loudly and she smiled. "I dunno. She was right. I needed to lose it and I need to stop letting everyone take advantage of me." Even thinking about how many people had done so made her fingers curl in anger.

Al evidently noticed, since he retracted his hand and rubbed his eyes. The water seemed to be doing the trick, as he was slurring much less now. "I suppose things make a lot more sense, then – especially the whole roof thing. I'm glad you've decided to face your fears."

"It's not easy," she admitted quietly.

"Nothing ever is."

"I went to the poetry slam last week," she told him as he shifted closer. "Everyone was so honest and brave. There was an audience and other amazing poets but the most timid people went up there. In the spotlight."

"Sounds pretty great," he said softly, resting his head on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry I haven't been honest with you."

"I guess I can see why," he told her, closing his eyes. "Maybe it's me. I'm just so resistant to bullshit and excuses now that I see it all the time, even when it's not there."

"Bad relationships," she suggested, and he nodded.

"It's not an excuse." He pressed a kiss to her shoulder before wrapping an arm around her waist. "I think it's frustrating for me not to know exactly everything. It's only been three weeks, I should be more patient."

"You've been really patient," she told him truthfully.

He shrugged and finished his water. "I could've been better. I suppose moving out from Rose and Scorpius' place, and doing all this best man stuff… and loneliness…" He was struggling for words. "Everything's been really shitty."

"It sounds difficult," she said softly as he rested his head onto her shoulder again. He was still a little drunk, but she preferred him sleepy to upset. "But you haven't pushed me to do anything. I promise."

"That's a huge relief," he told her quietly. "I would never want to." His eyes were drooping, and before she knew it, he was asleep. She stayed sitting there as he napped, leaning against him, not wanting to wake him for just a little bit.

Truth was, she was relieved, too.

Love was hard to find, and good people were even harder.

* * *

"Kayla…"

She felt a hand nudging her arm gently. She woke up suddenly, blinking rapidly as her eyes tried to adjust to the dim light. Albus was beside her, and they were still sitting on the bathroom rug.

"We fell asleep," he whispered. "Do you want some water or something?"

"Sure." She felt almost lightheaded from exhaustion and her mouth was a little dry. He pulled her up and she followed him into the kitchen. The lights in his flat had all extinguished, so Al pointed his wand towards one light in the corner of his kitchen. It cast a low light over the room so it didn't hurt their eyes.

"Why are you covered in flour?" he asked, as though he'd just noticed.

"Oh." She looked down and nearly laughed, remembering the state of her clothing. "My version of a panic attack. The good news is that I made you brownies."

"Now I definitely forgive you," he joked. He conjured a couple of glasses of water and they both drank in silence.

Kayla tiredly checked her wristwatch. "It's nearly half-past four."

"I'm exhausted," Al said, finishing his water and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. She liked him like this – shirt rumpled, hair messy and adorably sleepy. "I haven't slept properly in twenty-four hours."

"I should probably sleep, too," she agreed.

"Mhmm." To her surprise, he leaned against the counter and pulled her towards him by her hand. "You can stay here, I'll sleep on the couch if you want. Or I can walk you home."

"I could probably go by myself," she told him, placing her glass down. She forced herself to look in his eyes. They were much too close and she could feel the heat from his skin. "You should get some sleep."

"Feeling brave?" he joked with a soft smile.

"No, it's not very far…" She shrugged, unable to stop her blush. He stepped closer. "It's fine. I dunno if I'm meant to be brave. I'm not a Gryffindor for a reason."

"Gryffindors aren't that different from you." She shot him a look, and he reached to twirl the ends of hair. "We can pretend to be brave all we want, but we get scared shitless, too. The difference is that after a while, the fear starts to feel like excitement."

This made Kayla stop for a moment. She'd never considered that.

But it did make sense. It was adrenaline – fight or flight response. She was always of the flight response, choosing to run away for most of the difficult challenges she faced. Or she froze. She'd never considered that the fight response could come after the fact.

She looked up at Al. His gaze was flitting between her hair, her eyes and her lips, but he wouldn't do anything, she knew that. She trusted him.

But he seemed to have no idea what she was thinking, or that his words had a profound effect on her. He probably didn't know that her heart was beating wildly beneath his hand playing with her hair, or that something that felt a lot like bravery was rushing through her.

In the next moment, before she could really think it through, she stood on her toes and kissed him.

And Al, to her surprise, froze.

Kayla let him go after a few seconds; her hands sliding down from his jaw where she'd been holding him. She hadn't kissed anyone in years. There was nothing more than complete astonishment in his expression, and she didn't blame him.

Her lips were tingling, and she wanted to kiss him again.

"I… was not expecting that," Al said after a few moments. He sounded out of breath.

"I don't have the track record, I suppose," she said softly. Suddenly, she wasn't sure if it was the right moment to kiss him. They'd just fought that morning, they were both sleep deprived and it was much too late to be making any sort of rational decision.

Plus, she was covered in _flour._ She could see bits of it on his dark shirt now. She reached up to brush it off, and then hastily retracted her hand.

"I guess I should head out," she said timidly, stepping away and trying not to let the sinking feeling in her chest bother her. He didn't say anything. She could overthink this later, but first, she had to get out.

Kayla turned to look for her jacket where she'd left it on the chair. She'd just spotted it when she felt hands on her waist pushing her backwards, and the next thing she knew, she was backed against the kitchen wall and Al's lips were insistently on hers.

Her shoulder blades hit the wall and he pulled her waist closer. He smelled of something manly and vaguely sweet. His mouth slanted over and the stubble was rough against her mouth, but it felt _brilliant_. Her lips and tongue felt a little clumsy, but oddly, it felt natural after a while. He tasted like the mints he'd been eating earlier. She fisted her hands on his collar to bring him closer and a deep groan escaped from the back of his throat.

He paused to breathe after some time, but Kayla had no idea how long since her brain felt fuzzy. Their chests were heaving and he pushed his forehead against hers. Her face felt hot, but everything felt hot and his body was still pressed up against hers.

"You're definitely not going home," Al said breathlessly, still panting.

She laughed, out of nervousness, out of happiness. "I suppose it's late."

" _Kayla_." He pushed her into the wall with his hips. She stopped giggling when he brushed her red cheeks with his fingers, so gently that shivers ran up her spine. "Stay."

His eyes were dark and wanting, so she kissed him again.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

Kayla had never woken up in someone else's bed before.

When she was at Hogwarts and dating Daniel Finch-Fletchy, things were usually quite strict and boys weren't allowed in the girls' dormitories. She had to sneak back to her own room after fooling around in his.

Not that much else had happened that night. She and Albus had snogged for a good while before they decided to go to bed; they were both exhausted, and fell asleep almost immediately. When she woke up, Al was still sound asleep beside her and sunlight was beaming into his room.

Kayla yawned and stretched; her limbs felt heavy and stiff, but she felt immensely warm under the thick covers. Al's room was spacious but his clothes were absolutely all over the ground and hanging out of drawers. When she sat up, Al woke, startled.

And then he squinted his eyes from the sunlight and groaned. He shifted back under the blanket, covering his head.

"You okay?" she asked softly, looking down at an Al-shaped blanket.

"This is why I never do shots," came his muffled voice.

"You have to live a little."

"But I feel like _death._ "

Kayla giggled as he pulled his side of the blankets down unceremoniously, looking rumpled and grumpy, but she thought it was beyond adorable.

He kept his eyes shut determinedly. "What time is it?"

She leaned over to his windowsill, where she'd put her watch. "Almost noon."

He groaned. " _Noooo._ It's too early."

She reached for his hand and curled her fingers through his. "At least your hangover isn't as bad as it could've been."

Al grunted but opened his eyes. "How did you sleep?"

"Fine," she said honestly, though she attributed that more to exhaustion. Kayla had a lot of trouble sleeping in new places and it wouldn't surprise her if it took some time to acclimate to Al's place.

"That's good," he replied gently. "I still like your pyjamas."

Kayla looked down at her clothes. She'd finally gotten rid of the flour before she fell asleep. "The purple unicorns really turn you on, don't they?"

"Undoubtedly," he joked. He tugged on her hand and pulled her so that she was lying down again. "You look cute."

"Thanks." She blushed and rested her head on the pillow as he reached for her hair, playing with it. For a change, he looked a bit nervous.

"Listen," he began, "last night…"

She smiled. She couldn't help it. "It was awesome."

He burst out laughing, looking a little relieved. "It _was_ awesome."

"So maybe…" Kayla hesitated. "We could go to the wedding together?"

"That would be fun," he said, shifting closer. He pressed a closed-mouth kiss on her lips, which made her smile. "I do have an extra toothbrush if you want it."

She thought he just looked a little too nervous to be talking about a toothbrush. "Is that your way of asking me to be your girlfriend?"

"Maybe."

"That was sad," she said, grinning.

"I have a huge headache," Al grumbled, rolling onto his back and closing his eyes. He was almost never indirect about anything, but he looked so uneasy that she wanted to laugh.

She was in his _bed,_ for Merlin's sake.

Kayla scooted up to kiss his cheek, and he groaned again. She kissed him twice more before he gave a begrudging smile. "You're so mean."

"I would love to be your girlfriend," she said, blushing as she said it, but she felt extremely pleased.

"Great," he replied cheerfully, getting up slowly and yawning. "Okay, now I have to eat brownies. They are the ultimate hangover cure."

Kayla raised an eyebrow. "As told by a certain, very messy Potions Apprentice?"

"A very smart one!" he insisted, grabbing his wand off his bedside table and hastily waved it to gather all the clothes on the ground into his laundry hamper. "To be fair, I had no idea you were coming over."

"You could make it up to me with coffee?" she suggested teasingly. He took her hand and pulled her towards the kitchen. Al looked happier than she'd seen him in a long time, even with the hangover.

It was incredible to her that she could do that for him.

* * *

When Kayla got home late that afternoon, she was only a little surprised to see Lily and Hugo snuggled up together in the living room, watching the telly with small pints of ice cream in front of them, along with popcorn, crisps and wine. Kayla shrugged off her coat before summoning a wine glass for herself.

"Budge over," she told them, and they reluctantly scooted over from their comfortable positions to let Kayla plop down beside them.

"How did it go?" Lily asked quietly. Kayla sensed her nervousness, and as a response, she rested her head into her best friend's shoulder.

"He asked me to be his girlfriend."

"And?" Hugo piped up eagerly.

"I said yes."

There was a small relief in Kayla's chest when she saw Lily grinning excitedly for her. The look was sincere, and probably a little bit guilty. Hugo whooped and whistled obnoxiously, and Lily kicked him.

"So what's going on here?" Kayla asked, grabbing the bowl of popcorn and settling into the couch. A film she didn't recognize was playing on the television. "We haven't done this in forever."

"A real tragedy," Hugo said melodramatically, turning his attention back to the screen.

Lily sighed and picked up the carton of ice cream. "I'm doing the post-breakup thing. I am getting fat and preparing to get extremely pissed at the wedding next week so I can make a very embarrassing toast."

"Rose is going to kill you," Kayla replied, raising an eyebrow.

Lily snorted. "Serves her right. She is Bridezilla right now."

"It's true," Hugo said thickly, mouth full of crisps. "My sister _invaded_ my flat yesterday with some bullshit about napkins and place cards."

"Dammit, not that again," Lily moaned.

"I have no sympathy."

"Oh dear," Kayla said, hugging her knees to her chest. "Did she find her dress?"

"Hell if I know," Hugo said, shrugging. "I told her if we were missing Quidditch for this, she'd better not ever mention any of these stupid wedding details to me. Then she stormed out of my flat. Didn't even shut the door, the _nerve_ …"

Lily rolled her eyes.

"Hugo just sent an owl to that comedian," she said to Kayla. "He accepted the invitation."

Kayla's gaze snapped to him. " _Hugo_ –"

"And he just broke up with Gemma," Lily put in quickly in a low voice.

"Oh." Kayla's eyes went wide, but he wasn't looking at her. "Right."

"He ate lots of ice cream."

"I see…"

"I can hear you guys," Hugo said in a bored voice. He was digging in the giant bag for a crisp at the bottom. "I'm fine."

Kayla and Lily exchanged uneasy glances.

"It's okay if you're upset," Kayla said gently as he found the crisp and threw it in his mouth with a _crunch_. "We're here for you, you know. I even made cookies."

Lily snorted.

"I'm _fine_ ," he repeated, still not looking at them. His voice was forced and steady. "I explained what was happening and she said she understood. Nothing dramatic. It was a very amicable breakup."

Lily uncorked the wine bottle that was sitting on the coffee table and leaned forward to refill Hugo's glass. "Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt."

A silence fell over them when he didn't reply.

Kayla almost felt guilty for feeling so happy when her best friend was so sad.

Lily gave Kayla a meaningful glance and waved towards the kitchen. Quietly, the two of them got up and made their way out of the room. Hugo didn't question it as they left. When they got to the kitchen, Lily rounded on Kayla in hushed tones.

"I think he might need some time alone," she said, crossing her arms against her chest and chewing her lip worriedly. "But I'm also nervous to leave him alone."

"You have a point."

"He only came over because I insisted." Lily sighed and that guilty look crossed her face again. Kayla suddenly realized how often she'd seen it before their fight, but never realized exactly what the expression was.

Glancing back into the living room, where Hugo was still stuffing his face, Kayla nodded. "I think you're right. We should just tell him we're stepping out and take him out later for dinner or something."

"We could go dress shopping," Lily suggested quietly.

"We could," she said, feeling a little surprised. "We don't have to, though. I was going to drag my mum out tomorrow."

"I'll help," Lily insisted earnestly. "I feel bad about what I said the other day."

Kayla stared at her. "I know you didn't mean it, you were trying to get a rise out of me. I needed that."

"I know." Lily still looked uncomfortable.

Kayla understood why she'd done it, but guilt was a funny thing. Even when forgiven, Lily was still struggling with everything she'd done. Perhaps the best thing Kayla could do was accepting the things Lily was trying to do for her. She slung an arm across Lily's shoulders and hugged her.

"Let's head out, then," Kayla said, letting go and smiling. "I really do need a decent dress for the wedding if Al's going to take me."

Lily linked her arm through Kayla's. "I know just where to go."

* * *

Rose had decided on a classy white-and-pink theme for the wedding ceremony hall. Kayla had arrived early enough, but let Lily handle the bridesmaid duties herself. She and Hugo sat together as they waited for everyone to sit down before the ceremony could start. Lily and Hannah stood in the front and looked wonderful in their bridesmaid's dresses. Al looked vaguely uncomfortable in his tux, but Kayla was enjoying it.

Hugo caught her looking at Al and poked her. Kayla turned her attention to him, and he was smirking.

"Shut up," she whispered, feeling herself turn red.

"I didn't say anything," he whispered back, grinning at her.

She crossed her arms and looked back to the front. Al and Scorpius were speaking quietly to each other. "I'm allowed to look at my boyfriend."

"I didn't say anything," Hugo repeated, clearly trying not to laugh. "I have to go up there in a bit."

"You should probably go now, they're going to start soon."

"Yeah." He didn't move.

"Is something wrong?"

"No. Well." Hugo hesitated. "I'm wondering if I made a mistake."

Kayla uncrossed her arms and turned in her seat to see him properly. "You look fine…"

"No." He didn't look at her. "With Gemma."

"Oh," Kayla said, understanding. He'd been miserable all week, and even though she and Lily had given him space, a shoulder to cry on and plenty of ice cream, it wasn't nearly enough time before he had to attend his sister's wedding.

"I dunno." Hugo was staring determinedly at the altar and his hands were squeezing his knees. "I just saw Rose and she's _ecstatic._ "

"Scorpius looks pretty happy, too." It was true; Scorpius was fidgeting with his sleeves and shifting back on forth on his heels, but he was positively beaming. Kayla shrugged at Hugo. "Isn't that a good thing?"

"Yeah." She could see him clenching his jaw. "Everything I do is to be happy like that. Two jobs, all the shows, saving every knut, all of it."

"And now you're doing this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity."

"Yeah." He glanced to Kayla for the first time. "Maybe I'm going about this the wrong way."

She felt the sinking feeling in her chest. "You've considered all the options, haven't you?" She didn't know what else to say. There was no way she could _tell_ him what to do.

"Yes." He sighed and leant back in his chair. More people were suddenly piling into the hall. "I can't give up the biggest opportunity in my life for a two-week relationship. I can't ask Gemma to wait for me. I don't want to have all _this –_ " he gestured around the hall "– for at least five years."

She gave Hugo the most sympathetic smile she could. "I know. And I know this is hard."

He swallowed, looking extremely dejected.

"But listen," Kayla said, slightly urgently as people were seating themselves and Hugo really did have to get up there. "This is your sister's wedding. She's been looking forward to this day for years, and she wants you to be happy for her today."

He nodded tightly.

"So just force a smile for the next little while, okay?"

"And you, me and Lily are all going to get stupidly pissed at the reception?" he asked as he stood up.

She laughed. "Sure."

Hugo gave her a meaningful look before taking a deep breath, in and out. He went to stand beside Albus just as nearly everyone was getting seated. One of Rose's relatives took the seat beside Kayla, and a few minutes later, a hush fell over the crowd.

Kayla could see Scorpius standing straighter as the music started. Beside him, Al looked a little more apprehensive, and she supposed she could understand why. The two had been best friends since their first year of Hogwarts. She remembered what Al had said the week before about how he'd had to move out of their apartment and Rose and Scorpius wouldn't be living in Diagon Alley anymore. Everything around him was changing.

Things were always different after marriage.

Al caught Kayla's eye, and she gave the most reassuring smile she could.

* * *

Despite worries of napkins and wedding dresses, the wedding was beautiful.

There was obvious tension between the Weasley and Malfoy family, but they were clearly trying very hard to stay civil towards each other for Rose and Scorpius. The ceremony, thankfully, went smoothly.

After the ceremony they began to take photos, and just when Kayla thought her feet would fall off from the high heels she was wearing, they moved onto the reception dinner and toasts. Al had just finished his best man speech and plopped down beside Kayla at their table.

"It was great," she whispered encouragingly. "Scorpius was properly embarrassed."

He grinned at her. "My job here is done."

On Kayla's other side, Lily was pouting; Rose hadn't let her give the drunken speech she wanted. Beside Lily, Hugo had done his toast and was downing his fourth glass of champagne, while Lily was on her third. The glasses kept magically refilling themselves.

"And now," Rose's mother was announcing, "It's time for the first dance."

As Rose and Scorpius began to dance, Al leaned back, the upper corners of his mouth lifting slightly. Kayla elbowed him. "What are you smiling about?"

"Nothing." She elbowed him again and he chuckled. "I'm just thinking about when Rose was in Hogwarts. She was seeing Scorpius secretly and was trying to decide whether if it was serious enough to tell everyone."

"Not so secret," Kayla added, rolling her eyes. "I caught them once."

Al laughed. "Of course. Well, she was really torn up about it. And now they're getting married, and Draco Malfoy is scowling in the corner."

"Hmm." She picked up her glass of champagne to hide her smile. "As a closet romantic, a part of me is loving their story."

" _Closet_ romantic?" he said teasingly, turning to look at her as other people began to join Rose and Scorpius on the dance floor.

"Yes."

"You cried openly at _both_ of those sappy movies we watched a month ago."

"You weren't supposed to say that out loud," she grumbled, and he laughed again.

"Would you like to dance?" he asked, reaching out and taking her free hand. "I can't actually dance that well, but it looks fun."

"Neither can I." She was extremely pleased to see that his cheeks had flushed pink, even though they were definitely together at that point. "You'll have to put up with my aching feet though."

"You don't have to wear shoes –"

"Oh _Merlin,_ just go," Lily said irritably from behind her. "I'm tired of you two flirting."

"Seconded," Hugo grunted.

With red cheeks, Kayla and Al went to the dance floor and joined the crowd that had gathered there. She saw her own parents, as well as Rose's and Albus'; Teddy and Victoire Lupin, whose children were running around the dance floor wildly; Al's older brother James, who was dancing with Hannah Wood while her boyfriend glared at them.

"What is your brother doing?" Kayla murmured as they swayed together.

"I dunno." Al grinned and spun them around so they could switch places and see what was happening. "Oh, yeah. They've had a thing since school."

" _Really_?" Kayla said incredulously, playing with Al's collar at his neck. "But she has a boyfriend. He's right there."

He snorted. "You know James. He doesn't really like rules."

"I didn't know they had a thing," she said, thinking back to Hogwarts. Maybe Lily would know, as they were all in Gryffindor. "She never mentioned it."

"She wouldn't, if she's got a boyfriend."

"Hannah _was_ saying how he never wants to get married," she recounted. "He wants to stay boyfriend and girlfriend forever. She was very put off."

"James wants to get married," he responded, wiggling his eyebrows a little. "He told me the last time I saw him. I had no idea what he was on about at the time, since he doesn't have a girlfriend."

"Hmm." Kayla tried not to laugh as Hannah's boyfriend angrily cut between her and James. "Well he certainly is daring."

"I suppose," he said thoughtfully. "That's something, then? People who date but never want to get married?"

"Yeah." She shrugged as she noticed a bloke sitting at another table, staring at Lily. "Some don't believe in marriage and weddings and all that. I dunno. I always thought it was nice."

"Because you're a _closet_ romantic," he teased, and she stuck her tongue out at him. Al tightened his grip on her waist to bring her closer. "But someday, maybe few years, you know…" He looked around him. "I could see myself doing all this."

She rolled her eyes. "You are also a closet romantic."

"I am _not._ "

"You can be in denial all you want, I know the truth," she said in a sing-songy voice.

"Kayla," he groaned, and she laughed. He pressed a kiss to her hairline as they kept swaying. "You look amazing, by the way."

"Thank you," she replied, smiling. Thanks to Lily, she'd been able to find a flowy blue dress she loved. "You look great, too. Though you could've combed your hair."

"I _did_ ," he insisted, reaching up to ruffle his hair, and she leaned her forehead against his chest, giggling. He was laughing along with her until he abruptly stopped. "Oh shit, Gemma's here."

Kayla lifted her head to see Gemma, who had evidently just crashed the reception. She was standing at the end of the hall near the entrance in a deep red dress that complimented her dark skin. She was leaning over on her toes, clearly looking for Hugo.

He was sitting at his table close to the front, looking dejected as he chatted with Lily. Hugo's face matched his red hair, probably because of all the champagne. He didn't see her until Gemma had come all the way in front of him, at the opposite end of his table.

"Hugo rehearsed his set with me the other day," Al said quietly to Kayla. "It was awful. I convinced him to do an old routine for his show with that famous guy."

"He's definitely been miserable all week," she agreed. Hugo was finally noticing Gemma standing there, though neither of them said anything. She could see tears in Gemma's eyes.

Kayla and Al had stilled on the dance floor to watch, and she made an impatient noise. "Come on, Hugo."

And then Hugo was darting around the table, knocking his chair over as he ran over to Gemma. He leaned down and kissed her fully on her lips, wrapping his arms around her. She responded very enthusiastically.

"They're together," Kayla said softly, looking up at Al and smiling widely. "He'll be thrilled."

"Isn't he still moving, though?"

"Yeah." She leaned her cheek on his chest as they began to sway again. "I think they're going to try to make it work."

"Probably," he said. "Lily looks all alone, now. And slightly disgusted by Hugo."

"Fair. But now that guy at the other table is going to make his move."

"What are you talking about – _whoa._ " Kayla laughed into his chest as he stilled, watching the man go over to that table. "That was a bit scary."

"Well he was staring at her for the past ten minutes."

Al shook his head, and she leaned back to give him a questioning look. "You're just… interesting."

"Gee, thanks," she said, looking past his shoulder. Hugo and Gemma had disappeared, probably to talk and work things out.

"In a good way." He swayed with her for a few more seconds before speaking. "I've never known anyone to care for people as much as you do."

Kayla looked at Al. She didn't know what to say. "I don't think it's any more than anyone else."

"It is," he told her, holding her closely, and suddenly her heart was beating rather quickly. He really chose to say it in the most romantic place possible, with fairy lights floating above them, beautiful music in the background. She felt so overwhelmed she nearly wanted to smack him for it.

He rested his chin down on her head and spoke into her hair. "I definitely think I'm falling for you."

She was suddenly breathless.

They danced together for a few more moments before she reached up and kissed him. When they separated, she poked him gently. "You _are_ a romantic."

" _Fine_ ," he said dramatically, and she laughed. "By the way, Lily just slapped that guy."

He was right; Lily, who had been flirting with the man who'd approached her a few minutes ago, had unexpectedly smacked him and stormed off. She came up to Kayla and Al, and they broke apart.

"I'm going home," she said to Kayla.

"What happened?"

"That guy I was talking to?" She jerked her head towards him, who was still staring at her. "Everything's fine, and I'm thinking, 'Wow, he actually seems quite intelligent' and next thing you know, he's telling me the _dirtiest_ pick up line I've ever heard."

Al looked disturbed, but Kayla was confused. Lily's face was flushed and looked angry, but not _that_ angry. She looked a little more nervous than anything. At the table, the guy was still sitting there, grinning and rubbing his face.

"Did he really?" Kayla asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes!"

"And did it work?"

"Yes – what?" Lily stuttered, caught off guard. Al groaned, but they ignored him.

"So," Kayla continued, trying not to laugh, "I assume you're trying to leave without being noticed by your mum and dad?"

Lily looked frozen, her face steadily turning redder. "Maybe."

"And her really _is_ quite intelligent?"

"Shut up," she said under her breath, and Kayla laughed. "Can you _please_ stay at Al's tonight?"

"Why – never mind," Kayla decided, throwing up her hands. She could tell Lily was somehow hooked on this guy. "I don't want to know. Al?"

"Sure," he agreed wearily, not looking at Lily. She thanked Kayla and hurried out of the hall. The man followed her a minute later. Al looked slightly sick.

"I do not recognize him, and therefore I cannot kill him," he grumbled irritably.

Kayla laughed.

"That was nice of you, though," he acknowledged, pulling her back into him so they could continue dancing.

"Thanks."

"And now you're coming home with me," he said in a low voice, teasing her. She couldn't stop the heat from spreading in her cheeks and her heart from thumping madly in her chest. Al gave her a smile and a comforting kiss on the forehead – but somehow, the nerves weren't _all_ bad. Not anymore.

Kayla didn't know exactly why she felt so anxious about everything, or if it would ever go away, or if she wanted them to. All she knew was that she was realizing when it happened and that she couldn't hide behind her friends when she felt it. She had to take care of herself.

She had to embrace her nerves, and maybe that's just the way it was.


	14. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

 _One Month Later_

The spotlights blinded her eyes. She stumbled on some of her words. Her heart pounded so hard her voice shook. Her knees were jelly. She forgot her words and had to look at her notes. Her face was hotter than it had ever been before.

But as she felt – and she really did _feel_ it – the applause around her, none of it mattered.

She did it.

 _She did it._

When Kayla made it off the open mic stage, she was surprised her legs carried her back to the table where Lily, Albus, Rose and Scorpius were sitting in the coffee shop. She sat down as the applause died down and the emcee was announcing the next poet.

Al was beaming at her. Rose and Scorpius looked impressed, or at least Kayla hoped that was the expression on their faces. As they congratulated her, she noticed that Lily was uncharacteristically quiet, and even though she knew her better than practically anyone else in the world, she couldn't read her expression.

"What?" Kayla whispered after everyone's attention was on the next poet.

Lily bit her lip. "I never knew you felt that way."

"About what?"

"What you talked about in your poem," she continued, fiddling with the handle of her coffee mug. "All the anxiety. I didn't know that's what it felt like."

"Oh." Kayla's face felt hot all over again. "I guess I don't really like to talk about it."

"I'm going to try to be more understanding," Lily told her, still frowning to herself.

"You're always helping me," she said, shrugging. Kayla wasn't lying; she and Lily had been going flying every weekend, and Kayla was starting to not feel so nauseous. They'd gone through a few applications for internships, and even though she hadn't heard from any of them yet, she was feeling hopeful. Lily was very encouraging.

"I wish Hugo was here," Lily added. "I know he wouldn't have wanted to miss this."

"Me too," Kayla agreed. Hugo was doing a lot better after speaking with Gemma at the wedding. He decided to keep his flat in Diagon Alley and come back home in four months and be with Gemma whenever he could. Though he wasn't thrilled about long distance, he was certainly thrilled about his upcoming shows.

Hugo had written to Kayla just the day before, wishing her luck at the poetry slam. He'd also scolded her for not quitting her job, but she'd written back, assuring she would, as soon as she found something else. And when she and Lily had took their trip to Paris, of course.

She _would_ quit her job… but it was one step at a time, right?

And as she listened to the next poets, she realized a lot of things were changing. Her life felt practically unrecognizable, as though she could see herself clearer in a previously hazy mirror, and she liked what she saw. At least a little bit more. All the leaps she'd taken in the last couple of months amazed her.

And she was confident she could keep going.

* * *

A/N: Thank you all for reading :)

These were the songs I was listening to while writing this story, if anyone is interested:

1\. My Friends - Oh Wonder

2\. Snakes - Bastille

3\. All The World (I Tell Myself) - Correatown

4\. A Little Too Much - Shawn Mendes

5\. Four Walls - Bastille

6\. Rivers and Roads - The Head and the Heart


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